Ask yourself the best question ever

As the year and the decade come to a close, let me leave you with a little nugget of insight to carry into 2010.
Several months ago my father-in-law gave me a set of CDs to listen to. They are podcasts of a six-part sermon series from Andy Stanley, pastor of North Point Community Church in Georgia.
(Now, before you check out and think I’m going to get all preachy on you, hang with me here. You don’t have to be a Christian to appreciate this.)
I put the CDs aside and forgot about them until they surfaced last week. Being between audio books, I put them in my car and listened. Wow! I regret not listening sooner. The series was titled “The Best Question Ever.” I think it was from 2004, but the principle is timeless.
The question is a simple one: Is it wise?
The idea is to examine each of your actions and decisions through a filter of wisdom. Ask yourself, is it wise? In light of your past experience, current situation and your future hopes and dreams, is the thing you are contemplating the wise or prudent thing to do?
It is a simple question to ask, but one that we often don’t want to answer. It makes you think out the consequences of whatever you are contemplating.
Oftentimes the answer will be a no-brainer, but you still have to ask the question. Say for example you wanted to buy a new boat. There’s nothing wrong or immoral about that. There is nothing in the Bible that says you shouldn’t have a boat. It’s not against the law. In fact, it could even be beneficial.
But is it the wise thing to do in light of where you are in life and where you want to go? Is the boat worth the debt, or do you have the money set aide in savings? Will the boat consume your time or will it be something your whole family can enjoy together? If you have to go into debt for it, are you willing to make the sacrifice for it? What will you have to sacrifice – your child’s college education, replacing your wife’s old car, fixing the roof?
If money is no object and having the boat will bring your family together for hours of outdoor fun and recreation, then by all means, it might be a wise thing to do. But if it’s going to put you in debt, making it a strain to make ends meet, and/or it will take you away from your family each weekend, then it might not be a wise purchase.
Guys, where are you going to point your Web browser when no one else is looking? Would the Website be something you want to share with your wife and children? How would you feel if your wife or children were looking at similar sites? If you are at work, would your boss approve?
Gals, do you have a need to get together with your girlfriends and rag on your husband/boyfriend? Is what you have to say about him beneficial? Will it make everyone feel better? Would you want him to hear what you have to say? Do you really want him to be the subject of that kind of gossip?
You can apply this simple rule – this filter for living – to every aspect of your life. It’s not just for moral or ethical dilemmas. The major areas Stanley hit upon were time, money and relationships. Imagine how much better your life could be if you asked yourself this question frequently. You would probably have more money, better relationships, a closer family and fewer regrets than you do by not asking yourself that question.
It pays to sift your desire for instant gratification through a filer of wisdom. It teaches you to be self-controlled and disciplined. It keeps you from making mistakes that will have lasting implications. It’s amazing how even small decisions we make on the fly can have consequences that last for a long time, even a lifetime.
It only takes a moment to stop and think about what we are doing. Filtering our actions through wisdom can have profoundly beneficial results in our lives. It can make marriages and families stronger. It can make us more productive at work. It can make us more caring and giving in our communities. It can make us wealthier. Properly applied, it can make us skinnier or more fit.
That is some pretty profound advice. And like I said, you don’t have to be a Christian to apply this to your life. It is based on solid Christian principles, but it applies to every person universally.
So, as you go into the coming year and decade, I hope this little nugget of wisdom will help you make your future everything that you want it to be. May you be blessed and your life enriched as you apply this principle to your life.

With apologies to Clement C. Moore

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through my abode
every creature was stirring, including the toad.
The stockings were hung on the entertainment center,
In hopes that St Nicholas through the door would soon enter.

The children were bouncing hard off the walls,
Wound up on candy and caramel popcorn balls.
And mamma in her pajamas, and I in my sweats,
Were chasing after them, making vain threats.

When out in the yard there arose such a din,
I tripped over the chair and bruised my left shin.
Out the front door the children did run,
Looking to see if the noise meant more fun.

The moon on the dusting of new-fallen sleet,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to the litter in the street.
When, what do my wondering eyes gaze upon,
But the dog chasing a squirrel across the front lawn.

With a zig and a zag, so lively and jittery,
The critter taunted my mutt without any flattery.
More rapid than eagles the stupid dog bounded,
Smack into the tree, dazed and dumbfounded!

"Now Rover! now, Snoopy! now, Fifi or Spot!
Whatever your name is, come here on the dot!
Back on the porch! Back in the house!
With tail between legs, humble as a mouse!

As children like a wild hurricane flew,
Off to their beds, tangled in sheets like a stew.
Anxiously they chattered, they tossed and they turned,
Knowing that sleep tonight would never be earned.

And then with a tinkling, I heard on the piano
The cat making a leap, thud into the window.
As I smacked my forehead, and was giving a “D’oh!,”
Where I got such dumb pets, I may never know.

Fluffy was dressed all in fur, from his head to his feet,
And the cookies on the plate for Santa he began to eat.
From the bundle of toys left lying on the floor,
I hurled something after him, his joy was no more.

His eyes-how they twinkled! His claws how they extended!
Meowing and hissing, he was barely winded!
His teeth were bared and his tail stuck up stiff,
His doodie on the floor I started to whiff.

The gifts under tree were tossed and scattered,
And the ornaments on limbs so easily shattered.
The cat up the tree the pooch did give chase,
Making a mess all over the place!

My wife, she was yelling; curses they flew,
As the dog stopped and rolled in the kitty’s do-do!
The tree how it toppled when the cat finally fled,
At this rate neither of us will make it to bed.

The kids fast asleep, the pets now outside,
All our things were busted, including my pride.
But clean up the mess we did with a hustle,
While the cat and the dog continued to tussle!

And now it is quiet, all here are at peace,
Except for my neighbor who called the police.
“Shut up your dog!” I heard him spat,
As he threw an old shoe at Fluffy, my cat.

A good night’s rest we have finally earned,
With Christmas morning so eagerly yearned.
The gifts we will open; let the fun begin,
This time next year, we’ll do it again.

Still a lucky man 10 years later

I want to tell you about a most remarkable woman.
For the last 10 years she has put up with a lot. How she got this far, I’ll never know but will be forever grateful. It was on Dec. 17, 1999, that Sandy became my wife. How we got together is an interesting story. How we stayed together is even more incredible.
It all began in 1998. I was very active in a single parent’s class at Rocky Mountain Christian Church in Niwot, Colo. Having gone through a divorce, I found me and my daughter living with my parents.
One Sunday this young lady came into the single parent’s class for the first time. What interested me in her was not her physical attributes or her infectious smile. It was her story. You see, she came in asking for prayers for her father, Joe Snyder. He was on a mission trip in China and had been arrested.
The journalist in me could recognize that a major story had just been dumped into my lap. I handed her my business card and told her I wanted to do the story for the Times-Call, the local newspaper where I worked. A couple weeks later I was sitting at their kitchen table with her father telling me the story of how the local police had taken the group he was with in for questioning and then detained them in the house where they were staying. It was against the law to evangelize in China and it was clear that this tall, lanky white man was not there to teach English.
It just happened to be that they were detained on July 4, 1998, and at that same time President Clinton was in China. Rather than risk an embarrassing international incident, the group was detained rather than jailed. They were not allowed to hold any more of their meetings and had to leave the country with the understanding they would not be welcomed back. Those were agreeable terms.
So, whenever people ask us how we met, we tell them we met because her father got arrested in China. You don’t hear that response every day.
I have to admit that at first I was not interested in a relationship with Sandy. She is much younger than I am, was a single parent with a very rambunctious toddler, and at the time I was interested in someone else. That other person, however, was wise enough to see that Sandy was a better match for me and she kept nudging us together in subtle ways.
One day I put out word that I had a pair of tickets to see Glen Campbell in concert and needed someone to go with. Sandy was the only one to respond, so off we went. At the time I thought of it as a friendly outing, but we now consider that to be our first date.
Fast-forward to Valentine’s Day 1999. A group of guys in the class did a special dinner for a group of the girls. I wound up partnered with Sandy and as we talked, I learned that we had a lot of common interests. So, we started formally seeing each other.
Three months later, we were at the Star Wars Celebration in Denver. We were standing in line in the rain and mud waiting to get into a large tent so we could see some of the actors from the new movie coming out. It was there that I first asked Sandy if she would be my wife. Her enthusiastic response lit me up like a lightsaber!
We made the engagement formal on Mother’s Day. We invited my parents to her parents’ home for lunch so they could meet. As the six of us sat around the table on the back deck, I called my daughter, Heather, and her son, Wesley, to stop playing and come over for a minute. I asked them how they would like to be brother and sister. They liked the idea, but neither of them seemed to grasp what was going on. Then I took a knee and offered Sandy a ring and asked her to marry me.
At the time we were trying to figure out when to get married, Sandy was in school working to become an RN. We set the date during her semester break. Though she later dropped out of school, things were in motion, so we kept the date.
I have to tell you that a mid-December wedding is not an easy thing to plan. But then not much about the last 10 years has been easy for us. At first we clashed over parenting styles and other issues. But once we added two more of our own to the brood, we quickly got on the same page and have been working a zone defense ever since.
As anyone who has blended a family before can tell you, it ain’t easy. On top of that, we’ve had the rise and fall of a home-based business. With its demise came a bankruptcy, foreclosure, numerous jobs and moves, clinical depression for me, and lingering financial difficulties.
Any one of these things is far worse than what a lot of marriages in America today will handle. And to be sure, this is only scratching the surface of our struggles. But here we are, 10 years later, still fighting the good fight and more in love now than ever before.
The secret to our marital survival is our foundation in Jesus Christ. You see, it’s been a three-way partnership all along. No matter how heated or difficult things got, we always kept Christ at the center of our relationship and our family.
Today we can enjoy the fruits of our labor of love. We have four wonderful children. Sandy has her degree in business administration and a good job in the medical field. And I have a wife of incredible inner strength and beauty. I am as blessed as any man can be. And I owe it all to a loving God and a father-in-law who had a calling to spread the Good News of Jesus in China.
Happy anniversary, Sandy – you’re the greatest!

Time to break out the suit and beard

Ho, ho, hoo-boy!
How did I get myself into this again? This weekend I will once again be donning the red suit and white beard and playing the part of Santa Claus. I will be making my acting debut this weekend in First Colony Church of Christ’s “Radio City Sugar Land: Winter’s Eve 1948.”
It’s a small but significant part at the end of the musical drama. The Christmas program looks like it’s going to be a lot of fun. I’m really looking forward to it. I have to admit, though, that I thought I was done playing Santa.
I played Santa at Twin Peaks Mall in Longmont, Colo., a few years ago. I did it for two seasons and had a lot of fun with it. But it takes a lot of time away from the family, especially around the holidays.
I must have done a good job at it, because my own kids sat on my lap and didn’t realize it was me. In fact, Wesley even commented that I sounded a lot like Daddy. I said, “Maybe your Daddy sounds a lot like me.” That threw him.
It wasn’t until we were moving down here last year that Wesley found my beard. That’s how he discovered my secret identity. The beard was a keepsake from the job. (Trust me, you don’t use another man’s beard. They just toss them at the end of the season.)
It was fun seeing friends and children of friends come through the line. Many of them had no clue I was the one to whom they were confiding their Christmas wishes. It was really interesting to listen to the children. You could tell what was popular or what ads were being pushed at a particular time.
The ones I liked hearing the most were from the kids who really knew and desired what they asked for. You could tell when they wanted something special and it was important to them. Sometimes you’d get the politically-correct kids who would ask for things for their parents or for world peace or something like that. Most of the time, though, the kids wanted whatever toy they had just seen in a store or advertised on TV.
Playing Santa is not without its pitfalls. Every once and a while you would get the obnoxious teen who knows you’re a fake and wants to prove it to everyone. You also get the little kids who are scared to death of Santa and won’t go near you.
I think my worst experience was the time I was handed a baby that would not stop crying. The poor, exasperated mother took the infant from me and grabbed my beard in the process. She nearly ripped my head off as she walked away. I had to leap from the chair and follow her with my beard stretched to the breaking point and my hat starting to pull off my head.
When I recovered and sat back down, I looked down the long line of youngsters and saw a lot of wide eyes and dropped jaws.
Ah yes, those were the good ole days. I have very fond memories of that time but no real desire to be a mall Santa ever again. So that’s why I was caught off guard when Sandy told me they needed a Santa in the church program and suggested I do it. I guess it makes sense. After all, I come with experience.
At first, Sandy was the only one in our family doing the show. She loves musical dramas and had just done “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” at the church. After she got going in Winter’s Eve, she recruited our youngest son, Colton, to play the part of a small boy. He has one line, but is on stage quite a bit. Now I’m in it and Wesley has been recruited to work the spotlights. That just leaves my middle son, Luke. I guess he’ll play the part of an audience member.
If you’re interested in coming out to the show, it will be Dec. 12 and 13 at 7 p.m. at First Colony Church of Christ, 2140 First Colony Blvd., in Sugar Land. Tickets are $5 each or five for $15. A portion of the proceeds will benefit the Second Mile Mission Center.
Just tell ’em Santa sent you.

Feeling the love deep in the heart of Texas

It occurred to me the other day that an anniversary of sorts had passed. I have now lived in Texas for four years – three in Amarillo and almost a full year here.
Not bad for a guy who swore he would never leave Colorado again. I first left Colorado during my first marriage in 1987. I returned in 1996 as that marriage was ending. I regretted having ever left my homeland but am thankful for the experience of living abroad. When I returned I found a renewed love for the Rockies and my beloved state. It was paradise and I was happy.
But alas, not all is fair in love and real estate. An unfortunate turn of events forced me to look elsewhere for a home and job. My wife, being a native Houstonian, was more than happy to point me toward Texas. I came with kicking and screaming. It hasn’t been easy living here.
We had some mighty struggles in Amarillo. But when we left there, we left behind some of the best friends we’ve ever had. There are times when I wish we were back there and times when I’m glad we’re no longer there.
When we first moved down to the Houston area last December, I had three things I wanted to do in my first year. I wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to see NASA and I wanted to visit the Alamo. The beaches we’ve been too, early and often. We’ve also visited NASA twice and will go again frequently now that we have our annual pass.
But the Alamo was the elusive target. Last summer, Sandy took the kids to church camp and stopped in San Antonio on the way back. The rest of my family got to tour the Alamo without me.
Two weeks ago, however, Sandy and I went to San Antonio to attend a Family Life Marriage Conference. The conference was incredible and I highly recommend married or engaged couples attend one. Family Life hosts them all over the country.
While we were in San Antonio, Sandy took me to see the Alamo and to experience the River Walk. I was taken in. I loved San Antonio. I felt privileged to take in the sights, sounds and flavors. I was in awe of being at the Alamo – a place I had heard and read so much about.
Until recently, I have never felt much of a personal connection to Texas. But as I walked through the Alamo I was reminded that Sandy is descended from men who fought for Texas independence at Goliad. She has ancestors that fought on both sides of the Civil War. That really hit home as the day before I was at Liendo Plantation covering the Civil War re-enactments.
While we were driving home, it finally sunk in that, while this may not be my heritage, it is the heritage of my wife and my three sons. I don’t know what took so long for that realization to sink in, but making that connection suddenly made Texas seem more my home than ever before.
Please do not misunderstand – I am and always will be a true Coloradan. You can take the boy out of Colorado, but you can’t take Colorado out of the boy. But if I have to live somewhere other than the Centennial State, Texas is as good as any, I guess.
But now, four years into it, I’m seeing Texas in a much different light. I’m finding peace and contentment in all of God’s creation, not just the majestic mountains. There really is a lot to like and appreciate in this neck of the woods. One of the things I’ve come to appreciate the most is the people. There’s a lot of heart deep in the heart of Texas.
I do have to draw the line when it comes to sports loyalties. I am first and foremost a Denver Broncos fan. That will never change. But the Houston Texans have been my number two team for quite some time now. At the college level, I grew up 12 miles from Folsom Field in Boulder, so while I may not be happy with Buffaloes right now, I still can’t help but be a fan. And I couldn’t have been more surprised and proud than when they beat the Aggies a few weeks ago. It’s not that I have anything against the Aggies, it’s just that lately I’ve got to take a CU victory wherever I can get it.
I guess the point I’m trying to make in all this rambling is that I no longer loathe Texas like I did in my youth. Y’all are good people and this isn’t a bad place to be. I never thought I’d last four years here, especially after the first two were so miserable. But here I am and here is where I expect to be for the foreseeable future. Thanks, y’all, for making me and my family feel so welcome here.