A message to Mom on Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

I know it has been a long time since we’ve spoken. The last thing you said to me was “I love you.” I’ve never forgotten that.

It’s kinda hard to put into words how I feel with Mother’s Day coming tomorrow. I’ve been incredibly blessed to have you as my mother. You were my first love. You were my rock and the glue that held our family together. Yet another Mother’s Day will go by, and I will not visit. I will not call. I won’t send cards or flowers. I hope you understand.

All I can do is write these words and hope that someday, somehow, they will reach you. Tomorrow I will spend Mother’s Day with my wife. I will call Dad’s new wife, whom I call Mom, and wish her a happy Mother’s Day.

I don’t recall the last time I celebrated Mother’s Day with you. Regretfully, we had some rocky times there for a while. You didn’t exactly get along well with Sandy and you were often critical of our parenting styles. I know you hated it when we moved from Colorado to Texas, but it was for the best.

I can’t help but think you would be pleased with how things have gone since we last spoke to each other. I think you would really like Barbara, Dad’s new wife. She is really amazing and takes good care of Dad. They travel a lot and have visited many countries together. She is a very pleasant, upbeat person and is incredibly strong in our faith. The impact she has had on Dad and our family has been astounding.

I also can’t help but think how proud you would be of Sandy. She has overcome so much and has become an incredible woman. She may have been a diamond in the rough when we left you, but you should see her sparkle now! Since we parted, Sandy has gone on to get her master’s degree in healthcare administration and has had several big promotions at work and is thriving in her job. She also does a great job of managing our little farm.

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, we have a hobby farm now. We have 25 chickens, eight ducks and a goose. We hope to add rabbits later this year. And we have a huge garden, bigger than the one we had when I was growing up.

I think you would be very happy with the way our children turned out. Colton graduated from Texas A&M University this week with a degree in psychology. He’s looking to go to grad school. Luke is thriving as an auto mechanic and Wesley is a machinist. Heather works for Amazon and just moved back to Colorado from Washington. She has her own business on the side making keychains out of her amazing artwork.

I’ve been very blessed to have a terrific mother-in-law. Sandy’s mother is very much like a mom to me. She is a woman of faith and has a kind and caring heart. She takes great care of Sandy’s father with his health issues. It’s not easy, but she soldiers on with a servant’s heart.

Mom, when I look back at my childhood, I can see how much love and devotion you showed me and my brothers. Don is gone now, but Chip and I treasure you. We always knew that if we wanted something to ask you first. You rarely told us no or told us to ask Dad. When you did tell us to ask Dad, we knew that was code for you wanting to say yes but needing to say no.

I want to thank you for all the $10 and $20 bills you slipped me on the side in high school and college so I could put gas in my car or go on a date. And when I returned home with Heather in my 30s after my first marriage ended, you took good care of us. I was a wreck but you held me together while God mended the broken pieces.

It has been 11 years since we last were together. I remember that day as we gathered around your hospital bed, praying and weeping as your life support was disconnected. The illness and your failing body were too much for you to overcome. You had a big, beautiful funeral. I think you would have liked it.

Even though you are in Heaven now, I still think of you nearly every day. I rejoice in your peace, cherish your love and hold your memory dear. You’ll be happy to know that all the moms that have taken over in my life are doing an outstanding job. They are every bit the blessing to me that you have been.

Rest in peace, Donna Jean Southern. And Happy Mother’s Day!