How I spent my summer vacation

Writing those dumb “how I spent my summer vacation” essays upon the return to school always seemed like a waste of time to my friends, but for some weird reason I always looked forward to it.
I liked telling my friends what I had done the previous three months and I liked hearing what they did – assuming it was something interesting. I never thought my life was anything but ordinary, but I did have some unusual experiences. In hindsight, I now know that my childhood was not exactly what most people would call normal.
We had our chores to do which included mowing the lawn, feeding the cows, pigs, sheep, chickens and other assorted critters, milking the cow, shoveling a lot of … compost, weeding the garden, cutting firewood, raising honeybees, and feeding, breeding and butchering rabbits (we had a couple hundred at one point).
Being a country boy, I assumed most kids my age had to do those things, so I never wrote about them. I always wrote about the vacations to Omaha, Neb., or Stockton, Calif., to visit grandparents, Scout campouts, showing animals in the county fair, fishing at the Frog Pond, hiking in the mountains, playing baseball, going to the movies, and buying, selling and trading comic books.
I guess the things I felt were special were more in line with the ordinary than the things I had to do every day. Still, I wouldn’t trade any of those experiences for anything.
In keeping with the “how I spent my summer vacation” theme, I thought I’d share some of the highlights from my vacation last week. It was only the second time in about five years that I was able to take a week off and go somewhere farther than Walmart.
My wife’s parents have use of a house this month at Holly Lake just north of Tyler. We spent the week with them and had a great time. But you don’t want to hear about a great time. You want to know about the unique things I got to experience. Or maybe you don’t. Either way, I’m going to tell you.
Holly Lake is a gated community nestled in a forest with a couple of manmade lakes in it. No matter how many times we saw them, we still stopped, pointed and gawked at the deer. They were everywhere. It would have been a hunter’s paradise. I suspect it would also be a great place for an entrepreneur to open a shop selling replacement headlights!
The community doubles as a resort and offers a swimming pool and hot tub, a community center with a small movie theater, crafts, game room, grille, and a host of things to do like fishing, putt-putt, golf, archery, tennis, boating and more. Of course, with all of that to do, the thing my kids loved the most was the Wii.
My in-laws brought their Wii game system with them and hooked it up to the large screen TV. As much as I really didn’t want them to be playing video games, the only games they had were Wii Fit and Wii Sports. They got more exercise on that contraption than they realized.
One of the highlights of the trip for me was finally visiting the Lone Ranger hat. Kickerz Coffee (formerly Yahooz) in Tyler is a drive-thru coffee chain best known for the large cowboy hat roofs on the buildings. There have been three built so far and the third and largest was done in a Lone Ranger theme.
Unfortunately, the ground in front of the building eroded away thanks to faulty waterlines and some poor engineering by the Big Box store across the street. That hat is closed for now while Kickerz’ owners sue for damages. Their other two hats are operational and are doing a phenomenal business.
I’ve been following the saga of the hat for my Lone Ranger newsletter for a few years now and was pleased to finally see it in person and to meet the owner, Valerie Smith. She shared the whole Kickerz story with me, including their David-versus-Goliath fight against Yahoo over the Yahooz name.
I must say that they brew a mighty fine cup o’ joe. Speaking of brewing up some coffee, my father-in-law, Joe Snyder, shared some of his kopi luwak with me. He received it as a gift while working in Indonesia. I have to admit that it is really good stuff. For those who don’t know, it is made from coffee beans harvested from the excrement of the Asian Palm Civet (a small cat-like creature related to the mongoose). And yes, I knew that going into it.
One of the special moments I will not soon forget from this trip was when my 15-year-old son declared in all seriousness that “I don’t have a mental brain.” That’s where the seriousness ended, by the way.
As they say, all good things must end. We came back with just a day to unpack, clean up and wash laundry before sending the three boys back to school and my daughter back to her mother in Virginia. Now things are settled into a “normal” routine … whatever that is.

Rethinking Superman in a more realistic way

With Hollywood pumping out remakes and superhero movies faster than a speeding bullet, one would think that it would be time to re-think Superman.
It’s always bothered me that he has these unbelievable powers just because he is in different color sunlight. I’d like to see a more “realistic” version of the last son of Krypton.
In my mind, the Man of Steel would be more man than steel. He wouldn’t be the muscle-bound freak he is in the comics today. (What’s up with that anyway? Does he paint his costume on?) I think he should be built more like a normal person. I don’t think he should be able to fly. I think he should be able to jump real high, like the Hulk does, as he is still bound by the laws of gravity.
I don’t think his x-ray vision and heat vision should be something he can turn on and off at will. I’d do away with the heat vision and make his x-ray vision his normal vision. Instead of being bullet-proof, I’d make him feel bullets much like a normal person would a BB shot from a BB gun.
Here is how I think his back story should unfold. Rather than being placed in a rocket ship alone by his parents and blasted to Earth from the dying Krypton, I would put the whole family in the craft. As they go into suspended animation for the long flight, a meteorite from the home world would damage the craft, causing his parents’ life support units to malfunction, killing them.
Upon crashing on Earth (say, around Roswell, N.M.), he is rescued by a couple from Kansas returning from vacation. Young Kal-El (Superman/Clark Kent) should be a juvenile who speaks a different language and has some educational background. He should be wounded from the crash and very frightened and confused. He should grieve the loss of his parents.
Because he is on a much smaller world and in a different color of sunlight, he has what appears to be superhuman strength. His body is dense and tough, but not impossible to penetrate. Because of his mass, he would be very heavy. I think he would still suffer burns because his hide is dense, not fireproof.
Because of his physiology and the fact that he is on a smaller world and in new light, he can see a larger spectrum of wavelengths, which includes x-ray. Most everything he sees on Earth would have varying degrees of opaqueness to him – most of it see-through.
At first he will need to discover how to communicate, what he can and cannot eat and how to walk in a much lighter gravity (like the astronauts on the moon). I think he should be able to run faster than the average person, but not have blinding speed.
I think this represents what we would more accurately expect from a humanoid visitor from another world. It also makes him more vulnerable to humans and their machines. It means he has to use his mind as much as his muscle to defeat his enemies.
Another twist should be that as he ages, his body adjusts to the lighter gravity. He weakens, his eyesight slowly fades and he gradually becomes more human. His aging process should also be much slower – say, taking 20 years to age five years.
It might also be that, as he matures, other alien qualities develop, kind of like going through puberty. Perhaps he would have the ability to change skin tone and color and camouflage himself much like some lizards and sea creatures do.
Lex Luthor, Superman’s nemesis, should be a secret government agent assigned to investigating the crash of the alien spaceship. He becomes doggedly zealous in his pursuit of the missing alien. So obsessed is he that it causes him to lose his job. But by now he is so determined that he turns to crime to fund is pursuit.
Superman – who sees himself first as Kal-El and goes into hiding when necessary as Clark Kent – plays a cat-and-mouse game with Luthor. He needs to retrieve belongings in his ship from Area 51 and knows Luthor holds the key to locating and entering the secret base.
I think this version of Superman more accurately describes how an alien visitor would appear to have superhuman powers. I think it gives him a vulnerability that is lacking in the modern version. It would make the outcome of his exploits a little less certain.
You know, come to think of it, instead of re-inventing Superman, maybe I should just create a new superhero using this as a guideline. That would be original – something lacking in Hollywood these days.

Loyalty strikes out in pro sports

For the love of the game. That was the title of a pretty good baseball movie a few years ago starring Kevin Costner.
I wish there were more players who do what they do for the love of the game. It doesn’t matter the sport, it’s all about the money. It always has been ever since the first person got paid to play a game. Occasionally you find an athlete who really doesn’t give a hoot about the money – but then they generally make more in a year than most of us will see in a lifetime.
I’ve slowly been losing interest in professional sports because I’m so frustrated with the high salaries, the off-field crimes, the drug abuse and so on and so on. It makes me stop and wonder at what point sports stops being about the team and becomes more about the individual.
As children playing our first little league games, it is coached into our heads and hearts how important the team is. We develop loyalties early on to our local teams and yearn for the day when we can play for the local high school. (As a side note, Hempstead ISD has a teamwork motto.)
That loyalty continues into college. If you’ve ever seen the movie “Rudy,” you know what I’m talking about. But something happens in college. Once a player begins to realize he has the potential to go pro, his focus changes. He works on improving himself. He wants more playing time. He must decide if he will stay with the team or forgo his senior year and turn pro.
How does turning pro a year early help the team? It might help the individual, but by then the team concept is lost on him. At the professional level, even entry is contrary to the team concept. Players are drafted. They can’t apply to a favorite team. They go where they’re told – at least long enough to get some time in and then renegotiate a contract for more money or perhaps another team.
It’s rare that you see a player stay with any one team their entire career. Just ask Roy Oswalt and Lance Berkman. As much as Astros fans might miss them, understand that they are gone not because of their commitment to the team but because of the almighty dollar.
You can argue that Andre Johnson will be a career Texan, but look at the pile of loot it took to keep him. Even then, there is no guarantee that he will stay a Texan. Anything could happen that would ship him elsewhere, such as a trade, drop in performance or other unforeseen incident.
Professional sports isn’t fun and games. It’s a business. And like any businesses it is driven by economics. Loyalty and commitment have little meaning in the big leagues. Just imagine what the face of professional sports would look like today if loyalty and integrity were valued character traits. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if players rode for the brand instead of themselves?
Imagine sports without strikes, lockouts, salary disputes, relocations, performance-enhancing drugs and off-field troublemaking. What if those values were modeled for children today? Think of what this country might be like if loyalty were better exemplified not only in sports, but in the workplace and in marriages.
A generation or two ago it was not uncommon to see someone retire after 30, 40 or even 50 years of service to one company. Now you’re lucky to see people reach the 10-year mark with the same employer. I know I’m the pot calling the kettle black because I’m with my sixth newspaper in 23 years.
I’m not naïve enough to think that loyalty should be everything and that people shouldn’t look out for their best interests. I feel, however, that loyalty should account for something. I think companies (and sports teams) need to do a better job of recognizing and respecting loyalty. And workers (and players) need to understand that money isn’t everything. There are benefits to making the most of where you are at. If your situation is bad, it makes perfect sense to move on. But if you are happy, why upset the apple cart?
It is more important to make more money and climb the corporate ladder or to spend more time with your family, volunteering in your community and being involved in the world around you?
I feel the most important arena for loyalty is not a sports arena but the arena of relationships – especially marriages. Cheating is not an option. Loyalty and commitment are stalwart characteristics that should describe every familial relationship. Once they are grounded at that level, they will spread to all aspects of our lives – on and off the field.

What attracts two people together?

What is it, aside from their physical attributes, that attracted you to your spouse? Conversely, what is it, aside from your physical attributes, that you think attracts your spouse to you?
Obviously, our appearance is the first thing we notice. Setting that aside and getting to the heart of the matter, what is it that makes you click as a couple? There are two clichés that come immediately to mind: “Opposites attract” and “we have a lot in common.”
In order to “complete” each other, it is assumed that we need to fill the voids in our lives, thus the attraction of opposites. But if we’re completely opposite we would have nothing in common to share and build a relationship on.
That reminds me of another cliché used to describe relationships: “It’s complicated.” I know what it is that attracted me to Sandy and what keeps me attracted (that is, beyond her beautiful feminine features). We have a lot in common. We share a love for Jesus Christ and we cherish our family values. We have similar interests in movies, music, food, sports and other cultural trappings. I like that she cooks from scratch, loves to sew, has a passion for books and enjoys getting out and doing things.
I like that she is the “queen of free” and has a knack for finding fun, free and low-cost things to do. She is very practical and thrifty and knows how to bargain. She has a very caring heart and loves to volunteer and help others. She is an excellent mother and lover.
At the same time, we are opposites. She has a mind for numbers and business. Her expertise with the medical insurance industry has saved us thousands of dollars over the years. Her nursing background has helped us to no end when dealing with doctors and hospitals. She manages our money and does it fairly well.
I, on the other hand, have a fear of numbers. I don’t do them well and have a great need for someone like Sandy to fill that void in my life. She is a computer whiz and I’m just a lowly consumer. She is mechanically inclined and I can never remember which way to turn a wrench.
Of course, I have characteristics that drew her to me. And just as soon as one of us can figure out what they are, we’ll let you know.
Actually, she said that she took her second look at me when a mutual female friend said that I was “too religious” for her taste. Sandy wanted a man with a heart for God and found that in me. I think my natural good looks and quick wit helped to. (Hush! No comments from the peanut gallery.)
It’s safe to say that I disappointed a lot of women the day I got married. Now I can focus on disappointing just the one. (Insert rim-shot here.)
Seriously though, the one thing that holds us together is our relationship with Jesus Christ. He has been our anchor in this very stormy life. We have survived a lot of hardship in the last 10 years and are still together and as madly in love as we were on our honeymoon. It’s fair to say that we haven’t always been “in love” all the time. No one is. But we’ve survived many things that would destroy a marriage and have come out on the other side closer than ever.
Even now as we face some mid-life changes in our lives, there is no one I’d rather be with than this exceptional woman who has put up with me and my eccentricities all this time. How many other women would put up with a gap-toothed, pot-bellied, middle-aged man who likes to dress up as the Lone Ranger, attend science fiction conventions, read comic books and who doesn’t like cars? I’m telling you, Sandy’s a rare gem and I’m very honored and privileged to have her as my wife.
Attraction is what brings people together. Commitment is what keeps them together. I think that’s the secret to a good marriage. Sandy and I are committed to each other and our vows no matter what. I’ve been learning that as long as I put her needs above my own that she will do the same for me.
That being said, and in all fairness, I don’t always put her needs first. I’m your average, clueless American male and I don’t always catch the hints she drops. Sometimes I don’t even get them when she clubs me over the head with them like a 2-by-4. And there are times when my own selfishness gets in the way.
Eventually I will come around and see the error of my ways. There are two simple rules to marriage that cannot be changed. First, the woman is always right. Second, if the woman is wrong, see rule No. 1.
Once again I have strayed off topic. Sometimes it’s fun – or at least enlightening – to sit back and think of the things that attract you to your mate. It’s also a good time to think about what you can do to satisfy your mate and work on your relationship. I feel that if every couple did this as a regular exercise you would see a lot less divorce and marital discord in this country.