Time for flooded residents to move

I’ve only been working in Hereford for a few months. To say that I’m a complete outsider is an understatement.
With that being said, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the plight of the people in the oft-flooded San Jose community.
A couple weeks ago – between floods – the Deaf Smith County Commissioners’ Court reviewed options to help the people there avoid being flooded in the first place. The options presented by an engineer from the Texas Department of Transportation basically included placing drains out of the playa lake and/or diverting water from the higher ground to the south away from the lake. Neither option was foolproof and all options were expensive.
From my perspective, the best, safest option is to move people out of harm’s way. I know that’s not an option residents there want to hear, but it is the most logical. Generations have grown up in those homes around the lake. Most everyone who lives there is elderly and/or poor.
Selling their homes and moving is not really an option – unless someone makes it one. As Judge Tom Simons said at the last commissioners’ meeting, it’s going to take some kind of a grant to make the change there that is necessary to save lives and property.
First of all, it has to be understood that the playa lake was there long before the area was inhabited. Nature deems that water will flow there. Engineering by TxDOT before the community was built reinforces that. The lake is the drainage point for U.S. Highway 385. It’s been that way since well before San Jose was established first as a migrant camp and later as an unincorporated community.
No matter how well drains are built and how much water is diverted, there will come a time again when the lake will overflow and creep into the homes surrounding it. The only way to avoid that is to move the homes. I’m not talking a forced relocation, but a voluntary one. Those who refuse to move would have to understand that the county would no longer come to their rescue when the water rises.
I’m no expert on the matter, but it seems to me that for the kind of money it would take to place drains and diversions, one could buy-up the affected properties and relocate residents into new mobile homes or manufactured homes on higher ground. That assumes, of course, that grant money could be found to do it, so the residents could be sparred an unaffordable expense.
One, it would give the residents a much safer and healthier environment in which to live. Two, it’s better for the natural ecology if there is minimal impact to it. Adding drains is not natural. Three, diverting water elsewhere only moves the problem; not solve it.
In my many treks into the community, I have been sickened by the conditions there. I can’t imagine that it is safe to live by the lake with all the filth, muck and disease that must infiltrate the place.
The homes along the lake have been flooded so many times that no matter how much the occupants clean them, there is going to be mold and other contaminants trapped within the walls. Razing them and restoring the land is about the best thing that can happen.
Many of the homes there remind me of what I saw in 1999 in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, when I went there on a mission trip to build houses after Hurricane Mitch. Only this isn’t a Third World country. This is Hereford, Texas, U.S.A., in the 21st century.
Granted, this is only my outsider’s view of the situation. But from what I see, it would be in everyone’s best interest to stop talking about draining the lake and to focus more on relocating residents. That’s an option where everyone wins.

Accountability update: This will be my last update for a while. My attempt to lose weight and get fit have failed so far. I just have not had the time to work out and diet alone won’t do the trick. I will report back again when there is something worthwhile to report.

The future of folklore

Last week I talked a little bit about Harry Potter and my dilemma of wanting to embrace a very good story though the subject matter of witchcraft was highly objectionable to me.
On Friday, the new “Star Wars: Clone Wars” came out. Earlier this summer, the fourth Indiana Jones movie hit the theaters. Each of these tales has me thinking about modern folklore and mythology.
What will be this generation’s folkloric legacy? Fiction of old was handed down in an era before motion pictures. From Homer’s Iliad to Robin Hood and King Arthur, classic tales have been preserved and enhanced through generations of storytellers and writers.
As a child, I remember tales of John Henry and Paul Bunyan being taught as folklore. But I never associated modern storytelling as being folklore or mythology. Moviemakers are perhaps the greatest folklorists of our time. The problem is we don’t think of them as such.
What will people generations from now think of what we pass as entertainment? It will take some truly incredible storytelling to survive through the centuries. That’s why I feel the Harry Potter stories will still be read (or viewed) by my great-great-great-grandchildren. The writing is solid and the tales are original and imaginative. “Star Wars” is unimaginably popular now, but what will become of it in the 22nd century? George Lucas has wowed us with incredible advances in moviemaking, but his ineptitude in storytelling is legend.
Will movies and movie franchises become our folklore or will written stories (likely to be made into movies later on) continue to nurture our need for fables?
Right now Batman and other comic book heroes are dominating at the box office. I have to ask, however, when was the last time you saw anyone reading a Batman novel? Do modern literature courses cover the likes of Superman, Iron Man or Spider-Man? Will people in the 23rd century care or even know about “Star Trek,” which takes place at that time?
As a Lone Ranger fan, I have a love for the Old West. But I doubt I could tell you what served as pop culture in the day. Outside of the works of Mark Twain and Jules Vern, I can’t name much from the 1800s that would qualify as folklore.
I would hope that the stories of the Lone Ranger, Roy Rogers, Hopalong Cassidy, Zorro and the various characters played by John Wayne would last as folklore legends, but it’s too soon to tell.
Mythology is a little harder to nail down. When I think of mythology, I think of ancient Greeks who believed the stories to be true. Harry Potter makes good modern mythology, though it is abundantly clear there is no belief to it. The Star Wars saga likewise has potential mythological status, not because the stories are good, but because of the following it has. There are some in the last census who listed their religion as “Jedi.”
I guess all this musing boils down to wondering how I’ll be remembered. What mark will I make across time?
In the long run, I guess it really doesn’t matter if I’m remembered on this Earth or not, though I like to think that someone will remember I was here generations from now. Ultimately, my destiny is Heaven. There I won’t have to worry about being remembered or what mark I made in the here and now. I will be there for all time. I won’t have to worry about being a memory but being memorable to my Lord. That in itself is reward enough for the labors of life, and that’s no folk tale.

Accountability update: This has been another bad week. A crunched schedule, bad weather and a mild medical condition kept me from working out or taking walks. That and there has been an abundance of holy bread (commonly known as donuts) here at the office. D’oh!

Driving with daughter not a standard affair

How did this happen?
This summer I have been riding with my daughter, Heather, who has her learner’s permit and will turn 16 on Friday. When did my little girl become a teenager and get behind the wheel of a car? Am I really that old?
Heather is my child from my first marriage. She lives with her mother, but spends the fleeting summer months with me. It seems like just last week she was a cute little towheaded blonde who loved Barney the dinosaur, the Little Mermaid and animals of all kinds.
Now she’s got sandy blonde hair, is almost as tall as I am, and is getting behind the wheel of our van. She won’t try my car because it’s a stick and, being blonde, she gets too confused by it. (Now, all of you blondes, please don’t write and complain; it’s a running joke between me and her.)
When I was her age, my dad insisted I learn to drive a stick before I tried an automatic. He had a 1968 Chevy pickup with automatic nothing on it. The God forsaken thing didn’t even have power steering. My first time behind the wheel was in a field while we were getting hay for the cows.
Dad had my driving down the rows of bales while he and my brothers picked them up and hoisted them into the truck bed. It was stop-and-go as I constantly popped the clutch as I would try to take off again after each stop.
When we reached the end of the first row, my dad cranked the wheel and instructed me how to make the turn. My two younger brothers sat impatiently in the back as I very nervously popped the clutch several times before finally getting the truck to move.
And move it did.
I whipped around the corner like a NASCAR driver, forgetting to let go of the wheel. Bales and brothers went flying everywhere.
I eventually learned to drive that truck and I’m glad my dad had the patience and persistence to teach me. Now if I can just find that same patience with my child, maybe we’ll get somewhere.

Rental houses in Hereford
If I had a lot of money to invest, I would be snatching up houses in Hereford to rent. I need one. I’ve been looking for months for a place to live here. Buying is currently not an option for me thanks to Mr. Credit Report. But finding an affordable rental for a family of six seems almost impossible.
When I first got here, I ran an ad in the classifieds seeking a place to rent. I got numerous calls every day from people wanting to know about the house I had to rent. I don’t know if these people can read, but the ad clearly stated that I was looking for a place to rent. I finally got tired of the calls and pulled the ad.
What that experience taught me is that there is a huge market here for rental property. Had I been a landlord with four-bedroom houses to rent, I could have placed probably a dozen or so families. (That’s a hint, by the way, to all you entrepreneurial Real Estate types.)

Hairy Potter dilemma
I remember when Harry Potter first came out. My wife and I, being good Christians, were outraged. Children’s books that delved into witchcraft could not be a good thing. Witchcraft is evil and the Bible warns against it. All it could do is steer young minds away from God and down a dark path of destruction.
But not so fast. Sandy’s sister Susan, who is a teacher and is married to an Army chaplain, wanted to make up her own mind based on the facts. She started reading the books and fell in love with the stories. She assured Sandy that the books were not evil and were in fact a delight to read.
Susan convinced Sandy to read the books. Then we started watching the movies. I was still standoffish, but my wife was hooked.
Since I’ve been commuting here from Amarillo, I’ve been listening to books on CD. I finally gave in and started listening to the Harry Potter Books. I’m on the sixth one, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.”
I have to say that the writing is wonderful and the stories are creative and crafty. I think the tales are outlandish enough that no one is going to become a witch or wizard by getting into them. What I do enjoy is a story that is cleaver, original and thought-provoking. It makes that hour-long drive enjoyable.
While I cannot encourage nor condone the witchcraft angle of the books, I can recommend them as good, entertaining reading (or listening) material.
For those who have children who are getting into Harry Potter, be wise and talk to them about what they read, hear or see (there’s another movie coming out later this year). It is the basic story of good versus evil, and that is a moral lesson that is always worth learning.

Accountability Report:
This has not been a good week for losing weight. I didn’t get a chance to work out and I only got a couple short walk in.

First (and last) bite of a jalapeno pepper

Chalk this up to stupid things that guys do.
Last Tuesday, my wife’s parents, who are visiting from Florida, took us out to eat at the Big Texan. We were celebrating everyone’s birthday because we only see them once or twice a year at the most.
The place was sparsely populated when we got there. A woman was on the center stage with about 20 minutes to go on her failed attempt to eat the free 72-ounce steak. We were in a festive mood and enjoying the strolling musicians and engaging in vibrant conversation.
I was starving. I thought seriously about taking on the 72-ounce steak. Had I tried 20 years ago it wouldn’t have been a question of finishing it, but how fast I devoured it. When I was in the seventh grade, I once ate an entire medium pizza (back when they were the size of a large by today’s standard) and a large banana split by myself and then went roller skating – without any ill side effects.
The eight of us placed our orders and then we waited … much longer than we wanted to for our dinner. The salads came out fairly early and my oldest son, Wesley, got a veggie plate. On it was a large, fresh jalapeño pepper. We egged him on to try it. He put it to his mouth and bit onto it, but not into it. He backed off saying it was too rubbery.
I wanted to rib him some more, but I knew I couldn’t because I wouldn’t do it myself. I’ve always hated peppers.
As the wait grew longer, I got hungrier and the thought of daring Wesley swelled in my mind. I thought back to my last major encounter with a pepper. It was about 25 years ago when I was a wilderness survival instructor at a Boy Scout camp.
It was a day when we had the boys do utensilless cooking by hollowing out an orange half and filling it full of hamburger to cook in the fire pit. This particular week, however, they were out of oranges, so the commissary substituted green bell peppers.
I had earlier explained to the boys that almost every part of an animal was edible, including the brain. It just so happened that I had fresh beef brains with me that I used for hide tanning demonstrations.
One of the kids dared me to prove they were edible by cooking some of brain in the bell pepper and eating it. I took the dare and won. The worst part of it for me was the pepper taste.
Getting back to my story, I went back and forth as to whether or not I should try the jalapeño pepper. Just as I was about to give in, our meal arrived. I was saved, or so I thought. I chomped away at my 12-ounce steak, fries and baked beans. Sitting on the side of the plate was my own jalapeño pepper.
I eyed it suspiciously throughout the meal. Finally I decided it was time to have some fun and try it. I suggested to my wife that she might want to get out her camera and to my father-in-law that he might want to shoot some video.
Once they were ready, I picked up the little green monster, contemplated it for a moment, and then took the biggest bite I could.
At first my mouth went rubbery. Then the heat started to rise. I chewed as long as I could stand it, and then swallowed. I chased it down with a gulp of my Diet Pepsi. My wife and father-in-law urged me to take another bite. I did.
I didn’t chew on it nearly as much. With the aid of my drink, I swallowed it down. The drink now gone, the flames inside only began to rise. Someone passed me the crust of my youngest son’s grilled cheese sandwich and said to eat some bread. I did. The waitress suggested eating a packet of sugar. I did.
The pain in my mouth was tremendous. The laughter was still ringing in my ears as I started to eat my ice.
Eventually we brought out the birthday cake and that seemed to do the trick. The fire went out.
The next day an ember of that pepper ignited in my stomach and I spent a good part of the day regretting the whole thing.
Of course, being a guy and knowing my culinary history, it won’t be long before I try something else foolhardy. I already like frog legs and Rocky Mountain oysters (or calf fries as y’all call ’em here), so it will have to be something more challenging than that.
Watch Joe Southern eat the jalapeno pepper at www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbIEHnosm6s or go to www.youtube.com and search for editor meets jalapeno pepper.

Accountability report: As one could guess from my column, I ate fairly well with my in-laws in town – too well. I have been keeping up with regular walks with my wife and I made it once to the YMCA to work out.