Friendships and Facebook

I have never been one for social networking sites on the Internet.
A few months ago my wife talked me into joining Facebook. Now I’m a Facebook junkie. I have connected with scores of friends that I have not seen in years, even decades. It’s free, easy to use and very addictive.
One of the popular things going around now on Facebook is “25 Random Things About Me.” In it, you list odd facts about yourself and then invite your friends to do the same.
Another thing that’s popular is a tie-in from the movie “The Bucket List.” In it, obviously, you list the things you want to do before you kick the bucket.
In doing those things I have become aware of just how much I’ve done in the first half of my life and how much remains to be done. I guess it’s a creative way to cope with a midlife crisis.
I won’t bore you with the details of my life or my humble ambitions. What I do want to say is that being on Facebook has taught me the value of friendships – or more specifically, the value of relationships.
The only thing we get to take with us beyond the grave is the knowledge of what we did in this life. Money, things and property will all remain behind. Our relationships and how we treat the people around us will actually carry weight in the great beyond. I know this because when Jesus summed up the 10 Commandments, it was one of two commands. First is to love God and the second is to love others.
It’s natural for us to want to do stuff, see sights and own things. It’s more important, however, to share those things with others. What good is it to see the most magnificent wonders of the world if you can’t share the experience with another person?
What good is your collection of stuff if no one else has the benefit of seeing or using it? What good is land if you are on it alone?
I’ve often thought of the irony behind the name of one of my favorite fictional heroes – the Lone Ranger. It’s often believed by many that he is the Alone Ranger, a man who does things on his own and goes his own way.
The “Lone” part actually means “last.” He was the lone survivor of an ambush. Anyone who knows anything about the character knows he was anything but alone. In addition to his Indian friend Tonto, he had a huge network of friends – mostly lawmen – around the West. Wherever he went, he either had friends or he made them.
In the seven years that I have owned the Lone Ranger Fan Club, I have forged friendships around the world. Most of the people I associate with I have never met in person. Phone calls, e-mails and letters have been my only connection.
One of the things I have learned is that the club is not so much about the character as it is the connection – the relationship – I have with likeminded people.
On Facebook, I am connected with people from many of the different phases and places from my life. I have friends that I have never met and others I may never see again. But with this amazing tool I can stay connected with them. I can laugh at their jokes, pray for their needs and concerns, and encourage them in trying times. I can learn interesting things about them and I can share in the mundane things of everyday life.
In short, I see Facebook as a way to learn more about my family and friends. The more I learn, the more I can appreciate them and really love them.
Still, as much fun as Facebook is, it cannot replace good old-fashioned human interaction. It’s one thing to tell someone you spent a day on the beach. It’s quite another to be at the beach with them. It’s been hard for me to make new friends here outside of work. I’m new to the area. Where I live and where I work are about 50 miles apart. Work usually has me away from home from 7 a.m. to 6 or 7 p.m. on weekdays. That doesn’t leave a lot of time for meeting and getting to know people.
We’ve slowly been getting to know people through church and we’re finally getting connected again with Scouts. It’s been a slow process, but experience tells me it will be rewarding. I’ve made a few acquaintances since moving here and I look forward to turning them into friends.
In the meantime, you can find me on Facebook, or here in my office. Either way, I’d be happy to call you friend.
Oscar madness
I watched most of the Oscars last Sunday. I don’t know about you, but I was sickened each time they showed a clip from “Milk” with two men kissing. I was disgusted and sickened. Have our standards dropped so much that this can pass for primetime fare?
Shame on ABC and shame on the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for their inexcusable attempt to pass this perverse act as something mainstream America – especially our children – should accept as the norm. I find this lowering of standards intolerable.
It’s one thing for someone to pay to see it in a darkened theater. It’s a different matter altogether to make us watch it in what should be a family-friendly primetime television show.

Hempstead has a split personality

As a newcomer to Hempstead and Waller County I have been often asked what I think of the community here.
“So far, so good,” has been my stock answer.
Life here is very different than what I am used to. I am a native Coloradan and have lived at times in Minnesota, North Carolina and more recently in the Texas Panhandle. Each place is different and requires some adjustment. This part of the county reminds me a lot of Northeastern North Carolina in its climate and in the mix of people.
So far I have enjoyed being here. The town is quiet and friendly. But one thing really strikes me as odd. I can best describe it in one word – apathy.
There have been a few things to make me feel that way, but most notably, shortly before I was hired here, two Hempstead city councilmen were indicted on charges of bribery. I have heard plenty off-the-record, private comments about it, but to the best of my knowledge there has been no public outcry. The two men, Larry Wilson Sr. and Paris Kincaid, continue to serve on the council. No one has called for their ouster. Neither of them, to the best of my knowledge, has publicly addressed the issue to declare innocence.
Doesn’t that sound the least bit strange to you? It does me. If this had happened anywhere else I have worked before, there would have been meetings, letters to the editor and people streaming to city council meetings to debate the issue.
The accused would be doing one of two things: decrying the charges as false and defending themselves or else stepping down to prevent the reputation of the council from being further tarnished.
Not here. It’s business as usual.
Please forgive my boldness or naiveté about the community, but does anyone here care? If not, why not?
On the other hand, I saw a very different side of the community last week when I went with the local delegation to Waller County Day in Austin, organized by the Waller County Economic Development Partnership.
I’m told that these were the movers and shakers of the county. I spent a day with this group of 30-plus (some joined us there and others went as part of a separate political action committee) and I got to see networking and power brokering in action.
I was encouraged to see business, political and governmental leaders from the different cities and towns of the county coming together to work toward common goals. Rather than breaking down into territorial cliques, these people were putting aside any differences they may have had and were genuinely united in their efforts to make things better for the people of the county.
This particular trip was focused on education and transportation. Three resolutions were presented to local legislators, one on behalf of Prairie View A&M University, one for the three school districts in the county and one supporting of an effort that would bring passenger rail here.
I’ve lived in places where there would have been so much bickering over where exactly the railway should go that officials would have been unable to come together for the common good. They would argue so much that the railway would have bypassed them completely before they could reach a consensus as to where in the region the train should stop.
I don’t know what the history of cooperation is in Waller County, but I am impressed with the way these leaders were coming together. There was no apathy in that regard.
So here I am with a schizophrenic view of this place, wondering where the heart of the community lies and which perspective is more dominant. Is this a progressive, forward-thinking community or is this one content to rest on its laurels and let be what will be?
I for one hope it is the former. I’d much rather report on action than reaction.
If you have feeling either way about the issues and the leadership in our communities, please let your voice be heard. I can’t encourage you enough to write a letter to the editor or to attend a public meeting and let your elected officials know how you feel. To borrow an old saying, you’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.

Love is more than a feeling

On Jan. 16, 1964, a young, carrot-topped, freckled-faced Air Force Airman from California and a cute, brunette nurse from Omaha said “I do.”
The engagement was short and the marriage challenging, but last month my parents celebrated 45 years on their road to forever together.
His hair is frosty now, though a little orange peeks through. She hasn’t practiced as a nurse since she became a housewife, but has held several jobs over the years. Both have been an inspiration and a model for holding a family together no matter how tough things get.
It’s hard to believe that 45 years have gone by. I find their love story encouraging, especially with Valentine’s Day coming up this weekend.
I’ve always admired my parents for sticking together, even when they didn’t feel like it. Today they’re inseparable and as much “in love” as two people can be.
Knowing what I do of their journey, it proves that love is more a choice than a feeling. Anyone can be “in love” with someone. But feelings change. Staying in love requires commitment. We must choose to stay with those we love in times when the feelings are distant. Too often when the feeling is gone, so is the marriage. Vows, promises and commitments vanish with the ebb and flow of our emotions.
True love is being able to love when you least feel like it. I’ve had plenty of times in my marriages when I’ve had to apply this. The funny thing about love is, when you hold onto it — when you give it a chance — it comes back. It’s when you give up that love is lost forever.
One of my favorite movies is “Galaxy Quest.” The motto of the character played by Tim Allen is “never give up, never surrender.” That ought to be the marriage motto.
My first year of marriage to Sandy was tough — a lot tougher than any of the 11 years with my first wife. But we stuck it out, and the rewards have been incredible. I have a much healthier, vibrant and enjoyable marriage than I ever thought possible. Could it be better? Sure. But half the fun is embarking on the journey and facing the challenge together. The adventure becomes even more exciting when you throw in a kid ... or two ... or three ... or four. Suddenly, you’re forced to be on the same side because those youngsters have you outnumbered.
If you and your spouse are not on the same page, your kids will know this, exploit it and really complicate things. When your kids see a show of unity on your side, they will honor and respect that.
That doesn’t mean they won’t test it — they will. But if your defense is solid, you’ll keep their offenses in check. And as we all know, good defenses win Super Bowls.
Whenever I think about all the things my parents went through in the past 45 years, there is one song that keeps coming to mind. It’s the Crystal Gayle classic “You Never Gave Up on Me.”
“You never gave up on me when I was giving love up on you,
Every time I thought this love can’t work,
You stayed to see it through.
You never gave up on me when I was making
Things rough on you
And you showed me what it really means to love somebody.
And though sometimes we might not see things eye to eye,
You’ve always met me more than half the way,
So for all the times I’ve let you down
And you could have packed your things and gone,
I love you most of all because you stayed.”
Man, they just don’t write love songs like that anymore. Maybe if they did, there would be fewer divorces in the world. Maybe we would be seeing many more milestone anniversary announcements in the paper than we do.
I’m no expert on love and marriage. But there is one lesson I’ve learned — the big secret to a lasting and successful marriage that everyone should know.
It’s simple really. The family that prays together stays together. If you’ve got God as the foundation of your marriage, it can withstand anything as long as you keep him there.
A marriage with you, your spouse and God at the core is unstoppable. As it says in Ecclesiastes 4:12B, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
Mom, Dad, thank you for staying together and modeling for me and my brothers everything that a good marriage should be. And may God bless you with many more milestones on your path to living happily ever after.

This is what matters most

This, my friends, is what matters most.
What I have to tell you right here, right now is more important than anything you will ever do in your lifetime. As a journalist, it’s the most important message I can convey. Yes, I am biased where this issue is concerned. Yes, I have been objective and reached my own conclusions after much study and investigation.
This message is more important than your next meal, the clothes you wear or the place where you will retire this evening to rest your head.
What you do with this information is up to you, but suffice it to say that there are life and death consequences involved. I’d dare say that it goes beyond that. I would be remiss if I didn’t bring to you this most important news of all time.
I do mean “all time.” I’m not exaggerating.
I was thinking the other day about what the most important things are in life. I’ve had a hard time of it the last few years and have lost a lot. I was looking for things to be thankful for while listening to the words of Lee Greenwood’s song “God Bless the USA” that say “If I had to start again with just my children and my wife …” It made me think about what is truly important – most important.
I wouldn’t want to start over without my wife and four children. But what of my possessions could I do without? I had to leave plenty of stuff behind when I moved from Amarillo. Even now I am slowly culling the junk from the keepers in the hundreds of boxes we brought with us.
As I thought about all the things I wanted or could do without, it occurred to me that there is one thing even more important to me than my wife and children. It should be the most important thing to everyone on the planet, especially you.
This thing of which I speak is one’s relationship with Jesus Christ.
Please, don’t tune me out just yet. You owe it to yourself to hear what I have to say. You may never have another chance.
Am I proselytizing here?
Guilty.
Am I taking advantage of my bully pulpit?
You bet.
Am I an enthusiastic new convert?
No. I’ve been a baptized, born again believer since 1984.
So why am I bringing this up now?
Why not? If you knew someone in harm’s way, wouldn’t you try to help? I’ve been quiet about this subject in my columns for way too long. I’ve never kept my faith in Jesus a secret, but neither have I openly sought to share the Good News with my readers. That ends today.
If you get nothing else out of this column this week I want you to get this: No matter what anyone else may tell you, Jesus is the only way to Heaven. He is our only link to God and eternity in paradise.
Being a good person, doing good deads and believing there is a God is not enough to keep you from burning in Hell for all time. The Bible makes things very clear. We are born sinners. Because of that we are condemned to eternal death – to the pits of Hell.
Unlike the Charlie Daniels song “the Devil Went Down to Georgia,” we do not choose between God and the devil. That choice is made for us. The only choice we have is to accept Jesus or to reject him. Jesus is the only way to God. We do not go to Heaven without him.
Fortunately, choosing Jesus is a good thing. God loves us. He cares for us and wants the very best for us. He loves us enough that he sent Jesus to die for our sins.
Because Jesus has paid the price for sin and has risen again, we have the option to accept him and accept his love and be welcomed to paradise eternal. We are given the Holy Spirit to dwell within us until that time when our bodies cease to function.
There is nothing greater on earth than that divine truth. Likewise, there is nothing more perilous and fatal than the rejection of Christ and the Spirit.
You have a choice to make. You can accept the gift of eternal life through Christ or you can reject it. Doing nothing is the same as rejection. It’s a decision you cannot afford to put off any longer. You cannot say you haven’t been warned. If you’ve read this far you know what I believe to be true and you know the ball is in your court.
Please feel free to contact me if you wish to discuss this further. There are also many ministers who could help you understand this better. None of them will turn you down in a sincere quest.
Neither will I. In the grand scheme of things, there is nothing more important to me and nothing more important in this world.