Pirates of Buffalo Bayou cast away on a mighty adventure

Randy Pena, his wife Deborah Gomez, and Joe Southern 

paddle the Tinytanic down Buffalo Bayou Saturday. 

(Photo by Lynda Hegman)

We called ourselves everything from the Texas Army-Navy to the Flotilla au Fools to the Pirates of Buffalo Bayou.

Our little nine-mile canoe and kayak trip through west Houston last Saturday was a lot of fun. It was nice spending recreational time with friends from the Texas Army. Of course it didn’t start out that way, but hey, we got over it.

The day trip was planned (and I use that term loosely) by my good friend Steve Roberts. He created an event on Facebook on the group page for The Texas Army (1836 historical re-enactment group) and everything kind of fell into place. About two dozen of us showed up at the designated time and place, the latter half straggling in after recovering from misdirection on Google Maps.

It was only the second time in 37 years that I’d set sail aboard the Tinytanic. She’s an old 18-foot aluminum Grumman canoe that was salvaged from the depths of the Platte River in Colorado back in the late 1970s. We used it for two 50-mile canoe trips while I was in the Boys Scouts.

The Tinytanic was found half-buried in a sand bar with several rips torn in the side. My dad acquired it from a friend and riveted patches over the tears. Those patches and sealants have held strong ever since. A dubbed the canoe the Tinytanic in a nod to the Titanic because both boats sank.

I took possession of the Tinytanic from my dad in 2012 and brought it to Texas. Other than a brief outing on a lake, the canoe has been resting on sawhorses in my back yard for several years. In the interim, we have changed vehicles several times and no longer have one that can carry a canoe. My friend Tony Montez came to my aid with his trailer and graciously hauled that monster for me.

Once the mighty Texas Army Pirates gathered, we took our watercraft to the launch on the west side of Memorial Park. The “launch” was across a thick, slippery slope of mud. I was joined by a couple I just met, Randy and Deborah. As we shoved off we began our trek ankle-deep in mud with dark storm clouds brewing overhead. We were just a few yards downstream, wobbling badly and trying to find our sea legs when the clouds opened up in a gully gusher.

Rainwater began filling the canoe as Randy and I paddled away. We struggled to navigate the debris-choked waterway. Trees, logs, branches, and tons of trash clogged the early part of our route. If this is what we were in for, I really didn’t want any more of it. The only saving grace to the rain is it washed the mud off our legs, turning the bottom of the Tinytanic into a murky bilge.

Fortunately, the clouds broke, the sun came out and we soon paddled into cleaner waters. Our flotilla spread out and the three of us were intermittently in the lead or somewhere near the front of the pack. It took a while for Randy and I to find a rhythm to our rowing. We mostly navigated by a series of overcorrections.  I really felt bad for Deborah, who had to sit on one of the narrow support beams and struggle to keep her balance as we wobbled in the unsteady craft.

As we drifted along near nicer neighborhoods, marveling at some of the mansions, my mind drifted back to those Boy Scout days in 1979 when John Kowalski and I were navigating the canyons of the Green River and Flaming Gorge Reservoir in Wyoming and Utah. That trip was one of the best experiences of my life to that point.

I remembered Kevin McConnell launching bottle rockets at us from his canoe. One of them flew down my flannel shirt, entering at the opening in the neck and exiting out the bottom and exploding at my feet. I was screaming like a banshee but everyone else was laughing so hard I couldn’t stay angry for long.

Paddling along Buffalo Bayou, it was hard to tell at times that you were in the heart of a large city. We saw all kinds of birds – especially ducks with their ducklings – and turtles. As we got closer to downtown, the group ahead of us stopped under Waugh Drive. We kept going because the smell of the guano from the bat colony was a little overpowering.

The three of us went on ahead a ways. We were now in the neighborhood where Randy and Deborah live. We found a dock and got out to stretch our legs. Randy and Deborah walked up a trail and came back a short time later with snow cones. I was so hot, tired and achy that I didn’t mind the brain freeze as I slurped the sweet concoction down. That respite refreshed us and, as the others caught up, we were ready for the home stretch.

The remainder of the trip downtown was nice but noisy as we paddled under Interstate 45 and other roads before ending our excursion at the docks between Main and Fannin streets. There we pulled out of the water and began the process of retrieving trucks and loading canoes and gear.

Although our flotilla was about as organized and gung-ho as Sam Houston’s army, we somehow managed to complete our quest in just over three hours, nearly half the time Google Maps said it should have taken us.

As members of the Texas Army, we are normally re-enactors who spend our weekends in the spring shooting muskets and cannons at each other. On this day we were a naval force armed with enthusiasm and powered by a few adult beverages and Gatorade. The camaraderie was great and I’m anxious to do it again sometime.

If there was one thing I did learn along the way it was the power of plastic trash and the huge, negative impact it has on the environment. Most of the garbage we saw had obviously just run off into the bayou from the rainstorm. In a few days it will work its way to the Houston Ship Channel and into Galveston Bay. This manmade mess is preventable and we need to find a way to stop it and clean it up.

In the meantime, the Tinytanic is being cleaned and prepped for the next journey. I’m thinking next time my fishing pole will need to be stowed onboard along with a lot more to drink – as long as it’s not in plastic bottles.

Current events call dignity, integrity into question

Two events making news recently have raised some serious questions of integrity.

The first is the whole NFL vs. Trump debacle and the other is the U.S. Supreme Court ruling in favor of a Christian baker who refused to make a wedding cake for a gay couple.

Let’s begin with the NFL. The Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles were scheduled to visit the White House, as has long been the custom of pro sports champions. What happened next is kind of fuzzy. The Eagles say they wanted to reschedule and had only a handful of players who could (or would) make the trip, even though it was scheduled well in advance.

President Donald Trump, feeling a snub, refused to reschedule, uninvited the champions, and instead threw his own little party. Not to be outdone, the teams playing for the NBA championship said they would not accept a White House invitation, to which Trump replied they weren’t going to be invited anyway.

All of this sounds like a bunch of 8-year-olds in a playground argument over a birthday invitation. The whole thing would be laughable as childish nonsense except we’re talking about the President of the United States and a bunch of elite athletes that many in this country regard as heroes and role models. Seriously folks, this is the best you can do?

At the heart of the squabble is the issue of mostly black athletes taking a knee during the playing of the National Anthem before games. It began with Colin Kaepernick, who did it to protest treatment of blacks in this country, especially by police. His point is valid but his message is lost in the method. His chosen means of protest became a demonstration against everything dear to Americans from our flag to our veterans and the freedoms we so deeply value. That may not have been his intention but it was most certainly the result.

If you watch most any athletic event in our country today, whenever the National Anthem is played, many athletes – mostly blacks and other minorities ­– will, if forced to stand, refuse to hold their hand over their heart and/or will bow their head. Those are equally disgraceful and irresponsible gestures. If you want to have a public dialog about respect and dignity, you don’t start it by stepping on toes and spitting in the faces of those who gave everything for our country. There are other ways of drawing attention to your cause. This isn’t it.

Switching gears, let’s talk about the landmark Supreme Court case where the justices ruled 7-2 in favor of Christian baker Jack Phillips of Lakewood, Colo.

Charlie Craig and David Mullins came into his Masterpiece Cakeshop in 2012 and Phillips declined to make a cake for a ceremony that he believes is in contradiction to his faith. The spurned couple cried discrimination and their case crawled through the courts, making its end with the high court’s recent ruling.

This case is unique in that it deals with conflicting freedoms and rights. Phillips maintained his right to free association and his freedoms of religion and expression allow him to decide with whom he will conduct business. Craig and Mullins contend that as a businessman in the public sector that Phillips violated their civil rights by discriminating against them.

The case is indicative of the social war that has been waging between Christians and the Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered (LGBT) community for decades. From the Christian perspective, all sexual activity outside the bonds of heterosexual marriage is a sin. The Bible very specifically singles out same-sex relationships.

As the LGBT community fought for and won rights – specifically the right to marry – Christians were the ones to stand for our beliefs and to defend traditional marriage. The more the LGBT community pushed for equality the more we Christians felt our freedom of religion and our rights were being trampled.

As same-sex marriage became the law of the land, the gay community further pushed its agenda onto sacred ground. Through lawsuits and other means, they have been forcing bakers, florists, photographers, wedding planners, and even some churches to violate their deep-held religious beliefs or face harsh, legal consequences.

To me it’s wrong for the U.S. government to tell anyone of any religion they have to violate core tenants of their faith in order to do business in this country. That’s tantamount to religious persecution. That’s why our pilgrim forefathers left England to settle here. Freedom of religion is at the very heart of the U.S. Constitution.

Under no circumstances should the government be forcing Christians to provide services to the gay community. Christians should be voluntarily doing it of their own free will.

Anyone professing to be a Christian who refuses to serve homosexuals is clearly violating the commands of Jesus and is making a mockery of our faith. I know that statement may seem contradictory, but it’s true. I’ve been re-reading the four gospels of the New Testament and have come to the realization that I and many of my brothers and sisters in Christ have been misinterpreting the scriptures. We cling to the verses that tell us to be set apart from sin and the things of this world. We are in – not of – this world.

As I read the words of Jesus and see his example, I’m reminded that he did not sit in the temples preaching the Good News and calling sinners to him. He met the sinners where they were. He stayed at the homes of tax collectors, befriended prostitutes, and aided oppressive Roman soldiers.

“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance,” Jesus said in Luke 5: 31-32.

In his teachings, Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love God and love others. (Mark 12:29-31) You can’t love someone you’re pushing away.

The really convicting scripture is in Luke 6:27-31, “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

Jesus essentially says the same thing in the parable of the Good Samaritan. In the story, a man is beaten and robbed by thieves and left for dead on a road. A priest and a Levite (religious leaders) pass by the man, ignoring him. Then a Samaritan (sworn enemy of the Israelites) comes by and not only helps the man, but takes him to an inn and pays the innkeeper to take care of him. (Luke 10:30-37)

I think when Christians refuse service to LGBT people we are behaving more like the priest and Levite and in opposition to the Samaritan. This is wrong. We can be compassionate and fair and demonstrate the love of God without passing judgment or condoning the sin.

Baking a cake for a gay couple does not make you gay or in any way make you complicit in their relationship or lifestyle. It does open the door for you to reach out to them with the truth of the scriptures. That’s an opportunity that’s lost if you don’t help them.

By refusing to bake a cake, take photographs or arrange flowers, Christians not only alienate themselves from the people they should be reaching, but they further enhance the public perception of Christians being judgmental hypocrites.

I could go on, but I will leave this here. To me, both of these issues are matters of decency and integrity and are worthy of a deeper discussion. We need more professionalism and decorum both in the White House and in the ranks of professional athletes. We need Christians to stop being so defensive and to start being more kind and loving. If we can move forward on both of these fronts we can make great strides in making America a better place to live.

Comicpalooza X was filled with many fun surprises

Star Trek actors Jerry Ryan, LeVar Burton, and Brent Spiner have
some fun with a cell phone from an audience member 
during their panel discussion at Comicpalooza on May 26. 
(Photo by Joe Southern)

Tom Holland was genuinely funny. He’s quite the entertainer for a 22-year-old kid.

When he walked out onto the stage at Comicpalooza for his Q&A panel, he greeted the crowd in an English accent. For those of us who have only heard him talk with an American accent in his role as Peter Parker/Spider-Man in three Marvel movies, it came as a surprise. Apparently that’s a common reaction he gets when attending events on this side of the pond.

The English actor was the marquee headliner at the 10^th annual Comicpalooza, held Memorial Day weekend at the George R. Brown Convention Center. The line just to get into the Main Events room to see him was the longest I have stood in this side of Disney World.

He talked about his audition process and how all of his ballet and gymnastics classes finally paid off when he was cast as Spider-Man. He answered a lot of questions about what it was like to work with the casts in “Captain America: Civil War,” “Spider-Man: Homecoming,” and “Avengers: Infinity War.”

The latter movie has been out long enough that he could talk openly about the fate of his character at the end. That wasn’t the case with another actor I’ll talk about later.

Despite Holland’s charm and humor, he was shown up by a little scene-stealer named Angel. Holland invited three audience members to join him on stage and the young cherub was not bashful. He plopped down in the same chair as Holland and made himself at home with the microphone. Holland deftly played along with it, even inviting Angel’s brother to join them on stage and later making a FaceTime call to their aunt on the brother’s cell phone.

Once Holland was done, the auditorium was cleared out and a much smaller group came back in to see the panel by Star Trek actors LeVar Burton, Brent Spiner and Jerry Ryan. Burton and Spiner are from “Star Trek: The Next Generation” and Ryan from “Star Trek: Voyager.” They’re all seasoned veterans of the convention circuit and entertained with aplomb.

Spiner is a Houston native and made several references to local places and even discussed his time working at Astroworld. Burton led the audience in the “Reading Rainbow” theme song. The three of them got plenty of laughs when they absconded with someone’s cell phone. They also had some fun at the expense of the person who was signing for the deaf.

The sign language interpreters had their work cut out for them, especially with the next guest I went to see. Before I talk about him, however, I need to give a huge spoiler alert. If you have not yet seen “Solo: A Star Wars Story” and plan to, please skip the next two paragraphs.

After the Star Trek panel I went across the hall where Ray Park was holding his Q&A panel. Park is best known for playing Darth Maul in “Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace.” He was also Snake-Eyes in the G.I. Joe movies and Toad in the X-Men movies. Although he never directly addressed the sign language interpreter, he did make a lot of noise affects and weird sounds that I’m sure there are no way to sign. That and he talks very fast with a heavy cockney accent.

Because his appearance fell on the opening weekend of “Solo: A Star Wars Story,” he was not allowed to talk about his secret role in it. He makes a very brief appearance at the end as Darth Maul, who was supposedly killed off at the end of Phantom Menace. At the conclusion of his panel, he posed for a group photo with the audience. As we were leaving, he asked a few of us around him if we had seen “Solo” yet. A lady next to me gushed about it. I reached out and shook Park’s hand and said, “You’re the best surprise in the whole thing.” He smiled and thanked me, but then held his finger up to his lips in a hush motion and reminded me to keep it quiet.

OK, the spoiler alert is over.

I spent a good chunk of my day at Comicpalooza hanging around the booth of the 501st Legion. They are the Star Wars costumers that you can read about on the front page of this week’s paper. I can’t say enough about this amazing group of people and all the fun and excitement they bring into people’s lives. While I was there, none other than Peter Mayhew – the actor who played Chewbacca in several Star Wars movies – and his lovely wife Angie came by to make a major announcement.

They unveiled a coin that the Peter Mayhew Foundation is selling to raise money for impoverished children in Venezuela. Politics aside, the money raised by the sale of the coin goes directly to the relief of people who are suffering greatly. You can purchase the $10 coin at www.coin.petermayhewfoundation.org.

The Mayhews have a long and strong relationship with the 501^st Legion and other Star Wars groups. They are all committed to raising money to help people in need. Locally, the 501^st primarily raises money for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. They’re a wonderful group of people to be around and who knows, maybe one day I’ll be able to join them.