Pizza with scorpions and crickets and other fried concoctions

I didn’t get to try the pizza topped with scorpions, crickets and mealworms but it will no doubt go down as the most unusual and talked about food at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo this year.

I know that because of all the squeamish screams of the judges and the hyper media focus it generated March 5 during the Golden Buckle Foodie Awards. I had the privilege of being one of the media judges at the seventh annual contest. It was one of the tastiest things I’ve ever done in my journalism career.

I’ve never been one to be shy about tasting new foods as (as long as it doesn’t have onions) and I certainly would have tried the bug-laden pizza had it been served to my table. That honor went to the table behind me where Maggie Flecknoe, the morning host for CW39, provided apt theatrics and derring-do in facing down the creepy-crawly dish.

When asked afterward how it was, she said she couldn’t recall the taste as it took all her bravery just to get the bite down. It was a big bite!

I did get to try a wood-fried pizza, which was about the only thing I sampled that wasn’t deep-fried. OK, the Italian ice on ice cream wasn’t fried and it was really good. Of the deep-fried food, the jalapeno and cheese sausage corndog was really good. The best thing I tried – and it was one of the winners – was the fried brownie balls. Oh, man! That was indescribably scrumptious! I highly recommend those.

In all, my table was served a dozen samples to score in eight categories. I think the reason my table didn’t pick too many winners was because we had too much disagreement over what we did and didn’t like. For example, I hated the deep-fried kettle corn. My tablemate Dave Morales of Backstage OL gave it a 10 and praised it to no end. We clearly cancelled each other out.

Among the other foods I got to try were a breakfast burrito, fish nuggets and fries, bacon-wrapped pork belly, ribeye steak sandwich, bacon covered cinnamon roll, pork ribs and fried pecan pie on a stick.

Other than the fried kettle corn and the ribeye sandwich (it was smothered in onions and mushrooms – which I despise), I liked the food and could easily recommend it.

One of the challenges I faced aside from being a rookie food judge was that I had my braces tightened that morning and my teeth hurt. That didn’t deter me but it was an issue.

Going in, I was given plenty of advice. One was to find a quiet table where these domineering A-type TV and radio personalities wouldn’t overshadow me. I got there early and was alone at my table but still found myself surrounded by the most vocal group in the room. At least it was entertaining.

We were also reminded to pace ourselves, as this was a marathon, not a sprint. Not knowing how much to try, I actually left feeling hungry. I had no doubt exceeded my caloric intake for a single meal, but that’s a different story.

In all, it was a great time and the rodeo has some great food. Below are the contest winners. If you go to the rodeo, I’d suggest you bring a fat wallet and a big appetite. And if you find the fried brownie balls, don’t say I didn’t warn you. If you find the bug pizza, you have been warned!

Best Breakfast Food: Texas Skillet — Breakfast Cowboy Burrito

Best Value Food: Stubby’s Cinnamon Rolls — “The Original”

Best Food-on-a-Stick: Holmes Smokehouse — bacon wrapped sausage-on-a-stick

Best Fried Food: Custom Confections — fried brownie ball

Classic Fair Food: Holmes Smokehouse — gourmet Texas burger

Most Creative Food: Belgian Waffles — fried Sriracha balls

Best New Flavor: Holmes Smokehouse — baked potato with meat

Best Dessert: Stubby’s Cinnamon Rolls — “The Works”

That was some powerful good grub

When you think of camp food, images of hamburgers and hot dogs over an open flame or perhaps the mystery meat served in a dining hall come to mind.

Camp food is not gourmet and is usually nothing to write home about. A couple weekends ago, however, I had a camp food experience that is still paying dividends – some of them even pleasant.

Boy Scout Troop 1000 from Richmond went camping at Pedernales Falls State Park up yonder on the far side of Austin. It’s a beautiful place and well worth the drive. Per tradition, the boys cook their own meals in patrols and the adults cook though as if they were another patrol.

On this camp out, our grubmaster – the person responsible for coordinating the food, not actually digging for grubs – planned on us having chili that Saturday night. That is all we knew and when it came time to prepare the meal, our grubmaster had bugged out.

So a few of us opened up the food box and cooler to see if we could figure this thing out. We are, after all, Boy Scouts. My wife found the ground beef and began scrambling it up in the frying pan. She found some diced green peppers and added them to the mix. While she was doing that, one of the dads began stacking the various cans of vitals in a rather precarious formation. It was fun and got quite high before the whole works tumbled.

We got out the big stockpot and dumped in the beef and pepper mixture, along with a couple more bags of pre-browned ground beef we found. We then commenced to opening the cans. There were several cans of garbanzo beans, kidney beans, chili beans and black beans. We found a few packets of chili power mix that we added.

Then someone found the remains of the hash brown potatoes that didn’t get cooked up for breakfast. There were a few looks exchanged and then into the pot they went. We then found more beans and a couple big cans of diced tomatoes. Rummaging around, we came up with a jar of diced jalapeños that we dumped in.

I know some other stuff went into the mix and other things were rumored to have gone in. About this time our grubmaster returned looking clean and well coifed. Apparently he found the showers. When we told him what we did, he got a funny look on his face but figured, why not … it might work.

We let the concoction brew for a while and then served it up. Hoo boy! That was some chili. My wife made up some of her famous corn bread in the Dutch ovens to compliment the meal and trust me, it paid a mighty big compliment!

Everyone ate their fill of that powerful good stuff and we still had lots left over. I managed to finagle some of the leftovers and have been chowing down on it for lunch all week.

Did I mention it paid some dividends? Did I mention there were beans in it – lots and lots of beans? Need I say more? Each day at lunch I get to relive those tasty memories. I pity the fools who have to be around me afterword…