Listen to understand, not respond

Listen.

That’s the advice my pastor gave the Sunday after George Floyd died at the hands of white police officers in Minnesota. It was advice given to him by African American members of our congregation. It’s the message that African Americans have been trying to get white Americans to hear for generations.

Don’t listen to respond. Don’t argue or debate. Listen to understand.

Ignore for a moment the riots, looting and retaliation that has been running ad nauseum on television and social media for they bias your ability to reason. Forget all your preconceived notions and standard responses to similar injustices. Listen to the heart of the black community. Understand why there is so much pent-up anger, frustration, distrust and hatred. Until we hear and understand what it’s like to be black in America today, we can never hope to heal this country tomorrow.

There is a new narrative being heard across the country. White people, like me, are stopping to hear to what the African American community has to say.

It’s no longer just enough to be momentarily outraged at a single, cruel event, but a time for real, honest, and frank discussion and change across this great land of ours.

Hmm, “great land of ours,” that in itself has an almost white supremist overtone to it. “Our” land, a nation forged by white European immigrants. A land mercilessly taken from the indigenous peoples in a horrible holocaust. An economic empire built on the labor of black slaves and minority immigrants. Yet today “our” land belongs to all of us – or at least it should.

But as we’ve been hearing in the past couple of weeks is that many African Americans can’t be comfortable in their own skin here. Systemic racism is rampant across this land and has infected nearly every corner of society, manifesting itself quite visibly in the ranks of law enforcement.

I have written many columns condemning Colin Kaepernick’s method of protest by taking a knee during the national anthem to protest white oppression of blacks. I appreciate his reason but staunchly disapprove of the means to his end. I still feel that way, but today I do so with a better appreciation for his message when I ignore the delivery.

 

Confederate Square

One of the side issues in all of this has been the call to remove Confederate monuments across the country. Most notable is Virginia’s plan to remove the statue of Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee from its pedestal in Richmond. Most African Americans see Confederate monuments as glorification of slavery. That is, after all, what the Civil War was fought for.

As a white man whose family line runs deep across the South, I find the thought of tearing down Confederate monuments deplorable. But what I find to be even more abhorrent is the thought of what these monuments mean to African Americans. Yes, we want to honor our fallen and to preserve our history. But do we really need to do it in a way that is a constant irritant and reminder to those whose history is mired in bondage and blood? Does it forge good will to keep these elements of bigotry and hate on display in all their glorious grandeur?

I think there are better ways to honor our war dead and war heroes without erasing or sanitizing history. Confederate veterans deserve no more or less a place of honor and recognition than the veterans of any other war. Yet even here in Gonzales, our Confederate soldiers get more public recognition that those of any other war or conflict with the exception of the Texas Revolution.

I know I’m new here and on temporary assignment, but I have to wonder if it isn’t time to start having a real dialog about renaming Confederate Square in Gonzales and relocating the monument.

Before you come at me with torches and pitchforks, let’s take a moment to breathe and think with an open mind for a minute. Let’s consider what the square means to all people in the community. Yes, the Confederacy and the Civil War are an important part of the city’s history. Yes, it is appropriate that the city honor this part of its history. But is it right to do so in a way that is insulting to black people? Ask yourself, does having Confederate Square make a good selling point for the community? Does it sound inviting to someone who isn’t white?

What if it were renamed Freedom Square and a new monument erected to honor all the local veterans who have given their lives in defense of their country? As for the Confederate monument, there is an old Confederate fort next to Pioneer Village that is a historic site and in need of preservation. Why not move the monument there and turn the fort into a legitimate historical site?

Now, please do not misunderstand me. I’m not calling for the blanket removal of monuments or eradicating our Confederate history. All I’m suggesting is that we come to the table and discuss what is right and best for all people. Let’s hear and understand each voice that echoes from our past. It may be that Confederate Square is appropriate and acceptable to everyone, though I doubt it. Talking about it is part of the conversation we need to have if we’re going to give more than lip service to real racial change in America.

(Note: This was a column written for the Gonzales Inquirer but not published.)

Healing in a time of a health pandemic

Joe Southern undergoing TMS treatment. 

Let me share a secret about me that many of you may not know or have only suspected.

I have been suffering from moderate to severe depression since 2006. There have been times when it was so bad it took all of my focused effort just to get out of bed and go through the basic motions of the day. I have seen numerous psychologists, psychiatrists and even a neurologist. I’ve been on many of the major antidepressant medications with little or no effect.

Most of those drugs have left me feeling emotionally flat. I feel neutral most of the time and can easily dip deep into negative feelings such as sadness or anger. On rare occasion I can feel brief spikes of positive feelings, but they’re short-lived. Most of the time I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

No more!

Something extraordinary happened to me in April and May while I was on furlough from my job during the COVID-19 pandemic shutdown. I got better. I dare say I’ve been healed. Only time will tell for sure, but at the time of this writing I feel great. I owe it in large part to a relatively new treatment called transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS).

TMS utilizes focused magnetic pulses to awaken parts of the brain that become inactive in depression. Not only is there a chemical imbalance in the brain when depression strikes, but there is a part of the brain that physically slows down or shuts down. The magnetic pulses stimulate this part of the brain and in some cases develops new neuropathways that allow the emotional center of the brain to operate the way it is supposed to.

At first I thought this was some kind of new age hocus-pocus, but it has had U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approval since 2008 and a lot of positive testimonials.

Prearranged before I had any clue that I was about to be sidelined from my job, I was scheduled to begin TMS treatment on April 6. The treatment required 36 sessions lasting about 20 minutes each. I went each weekday for six weeks and then tapered off the last three weeks. I was really stressed at how I was going to fit this into my busy schedule when God cleared my calendar with a furlough.

I did my treatment at Greenbrook TMS in Richmond under the care of Dr. Aqeel Hashmi. Actually, I had very little interaction with him. Each day I was treated by technician Coty Bishop, who was very jovial and friendly. I really appreciate his professionalism and encouragement.

TMS was only a part of what I did for my health in those two months off, but it was also the only thing with measurable results. I was tested weekly about my mood and the charts show very significant improvement. The difficult part for me is figuring out how much of my recovery is from TMS and how much is from everything else I’ve been doing.

My journey began back the day before Thanksgiving when I started on a keto diet. Not only have I lost more than 30 pounds so far, but I’ve been eating healthier than I have at any time in my life. On top of the improved diet, I’ve also been walking one to two miles a day. I helped my son Colton with his hiking merit badge for Scouts and we did three 10-mile hikes and a 15-mile and a 20-mile hike.

I’ve also taken advantage of the time to get adequate sleep at night. It’s incredible what an extra hour or two a night will do for you.

When you factor all these things together, it’s no wonder that I’m feeling so much better and am much more energized. I highly doubt all of this would have happened if it were not for the pandemic putting my job on hold. This recovery is something I’ve hoped for and prayed over for a long time. I honestly believe the timing is an act of God. I believe my good mood and improved health are the product of all these things working in concert with each other. Each part is important and plays a vital role.

I offer this testimony in hopes that it will encourage someone else who is dealing with depression and struggling to get by. There is hope! I can’t reclaim the 13 years depression took from me, but I can plan on a future with peace, joy, and happiness back in my life and you can too!