When seasons of life collide

Is it just me or does anyone else find Facebook and Twitter freaky in a good sort of way? I’m on both, but mostly Facebook. I now have more friends than I’ve ever had in my life. Some of them I actually know.
My daughter once asked me how I could have more than 300 Facebook friends when she, a teenager, could barely muster 100. I thought about it and concluded that after having attended elementary school, junior high, high school and college; having lived in four states; being a member of several churches and organizations; and now working with my fifth employer, I have accumulated many friends and acquaintances along the way.
In the normal flow of life, almost all of my Facebook friends would be nothing more than memories to me. That’s the way things go. You move on in life, say goodbye to old friends and make new ones.
Now, thanks to social media, we can dig up our past and drag it kicking and screaming into the present. It’s very surreal to be in almost daily contact with people I’ve only known briefly and that many years ago. It’s also interesting to see how friends from different areas of my life are connected with other friends that I would never have known they knew each other. (Did that make any sense?) Facebook really is a world wide web unto itself.
I’m fascinated to see friends from vastly different parts of my world get into discussions as they comment on something I’ve posted. I’ve also gotten to know some people just by being regular commenters on mutual friends’ postings.
At one time I was “friends” with my wife, ex-wife, a couple of former girlfriends, former drinking buddies, prayer partners, current and former co-workers, athletes, astronauts, artists, cowboys, actors, pastors, authors and seemingly endless numbers of family and former classmates.
I’ve wised up and dropped a few that I have no business associating with anymore. I’ve also blocked from my “stream” several friends that I want to keep in contact with, but don’t want to know the minutia of their lives.
In addition to my own personal Facebook activities, I maintain a page for the Waller County News Citizen, as well as one for the Lone Ranger Fan Club. In hindsight, I think I’m more social online than I ever was in person.
As for Twitter, I mostly use it as another way to access Facebook. I also follow several celebrities on there. For the most part, Twitter is a waste of my time and is often redundant to Facebook.
One of the huge benefits of Facebook is joining pages of favorite restaurants and businesses that offer discounts and freebies exclusively on their pages. I can also get updates on my favorite sports teams and movie companies. A big one for me is the ability to keep up with everything going on with NASA.
While it may sound like I’m a rambling commercial for Facebook, I’m not. There are times I wish I could break my addiction to this time-sucking electronic spider web. I think at times I’m overwhelmed at seeing the various seasons of my life collide and then explode in a shower of photos, video and commentary. There is something very unnatural about that.
Sadly, I have some friends who have had their marriages end because they or their spouse formed relationships online that never should have happened. I guess that risk exists in many arenas of life, but can be done much more stealthily (and permanently) online.
On the other hand, it’s all very exciting to answer the “what ever happened to …” questions and see where some of the mysteries of my past have played out. It’s also very handy for staying in contact with family, friends and associates, especially with people I care about being scattered around the globe at various times.
As a closing note, it’s interesting to me that while I am writing this as my weekly column for the Waller County News Citizen, there will be more people who read it on Facebook than there will be in the newspaper itself.

Ain't nothin' better than being a daddy

Happy Father’s Day to all the great dads out there.
Being a dad isn’t the easiest thing for a man to do, but it sure is the most rewarding. There is nothing like holding your newborn baby for the first time and knowing that your world is a better place. Great are those moments when your youngster takes those first, precious steps, says their first words, catches a ball, swims across the pool and rides a two-wheel bike for the first time.
Among the joys of fatherhood is hearing “I love you, Daddy,” receiving crayon scribbles on construction paper, the first day of school, fishing on a lazy summer day, mowing the lawn together, wrestling in the living room, pillow fights, bedtime stories and stargazing.
As they grow older, there are the music lessons, athletic events, camps, youth group activities, helping with homework, and training a puppy. There will be hours of playing catch, foot races, playing ball, going to movies and watching sports live or on TV.
The older they get the more important a father’s instruction becomes. There is a special bond between a father and child that is like nothing else on this earth. Finally, they get into high school and college. If your child is athletic, there will come that memorable moment when they make the big play and you swell with pride and relish the moment where all that hard work and dedication has come to fruition. It’s at that moment your child will look at the camera and say “hi, Mom!”
I am blessed with a great and wonderful God, a beautiful and loving wife and four of the best children a guy could ask for. Everything else pales in comparison. I have those things because I have parents who modeled that for me. They led me on the straight and narrow path. And even though I strayed at times, it was through their love, dedication and direction that I have the great family and good life that I do today. The same can be said for my in-laws and their daughter, my beloved Sandy.
I know too many guys who have given up on their families and left for “greener” pastures only to miss out on the greatest experience of their lives. There is little that is more harmful to a child than to have to live without one of their parents, be it through death or divorce. Of those two, divorce is more devastating. Death is something we cannot control. Divorce is the willful desertion of one or both of the parents from the family. It is something that can be controlled. What’s needed is for more men – and women – to take a “we first” attitude toward one another.
Finding true happiness in this life comes not from doing what feels good or in pleasing oneself, but in pleasing and caring for those around you. When the people around you are happy, you too, will share in their joy. And when those people are your wife and children, a guy can’t ask for much more than that.

I screwed up
When I make a mistake, I own up to it. Last week I made a huge mistake. Actually, I made a bunch of them. It’s my lapse in judgment and I take full responsibility and apologize to those affected by it.
In the interest of integrity and serving as a government watchdog – which is a mantra of this profession – I published a list of public officials who are behind on their taxes. For the most part, I was right on. I should, however, have thoroughly vetted the information I had and I failed to do so. That reflects negatively on my own integrity, the integrity of this newspaper and the integrity of those wrongly named.
I should have contacted everyone on the list first to verify that I had the right people and to offer them a chance to tell their side of the story. I did with the ones I could find, but I didn’t with all. That meant that fine people like Johnny Johnson of the Hempstead ISD Board of Trustees and Joe Garcia of the Royal ISD Board of Trustees got mixed up with their namesakes. It also meant that people like Brookshire City Judge Karl Micklitz, who is on a quarterly payment system, and Monaville Fire Chief Dan Easter, who is in the process of refinancing, were listed as delinquent when they had legitimate reasons.
To each of those who were wrongly affected by my errors, I humbly and sincerely apologize.

Sin is me

What is sin? We all know that sin is wrong, but what, exactly, is it? How do you define sin?
I did a quick search on the Internet and came up with various definitions that basically said sin is the violation of a religious or moral law. While that is true, I wanted to know more. I wanted to boil sin down to its core. I wanted to know what sin is at its most basic level.
That set me thinking about what things are considered sin. I came up with the obvious: murder, theft, lying, adultery, gluttony, disobedience and so on. I then wanted to know what the common denominator is between each of those things.
The answer was me.
Not me specifically, but me as in selfishness. I concluded that sin is selfishness. Sin is all about “me.” Think about it. What sin is there that is not motivated by selfishness? I couldn’t come up with anything.
If you kill someone, is it for the benefit of the other person or the one doing the killing? The same goes for telling lies, stealing and committing adultery. The commission of a sin does not benefit the recipient, but rather fulfills a desire of the offender. It’s no wonder God is so adamant about denying oneself and loving other people.
“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13
I did a search for references in the Bible talking about how we should love one another. I got 16 hits. Among them:
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” John 13:34
“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10
“You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.” Galatians 5:13
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2
“And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.” 1 John 3:23
When asked what the greatest commandment is, Jesus said it is to love God and others.
“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:36-40
Finally, Philippians 2:3 tells us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”
Even if you are not “religious” or a Christian, you have to admit that our laws are designed to limit selfishness. Most of our laws are designed to prevent or punish selfish acts that harm others. We have laws governing the consumption of alcohol and other drugs, not because of the harm they do to the consumer, but because of the threat the consumer poses to others while under the influence.
Here is something else to consider. No one is given an award, compliment or accolade for a selfish act. Those things are given to those who go above and beyond in their service to others.
One of the things I really struggle with from a selfish standpoint is my packrat mentality. I have a tendency to want to keep things that I buy or that are given to me. I’m a sucker for promotional giveaways. It’s not that there is anything wrong with keeping what you have. My problem is it makes it harder for me to give to others. Having many things also distracts me from appreciating the few treasures that I really value.
I need to learn to unload a ton of my stuff and make room for the really important things. I need to learn to make sure the needs of others are met before my own. It’s only through a spirit of self-depravation that I can make my life better by making life better for those around me. It is also pleasing to God.
“Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:7.
Failure to abide by this the truths presented here is truly a sin.

Only one man left standing in the end

(NOTE: This is the eighth and final part in a serial-type story about the origin of the Lone Ranger. In the last part, Tonto was recalling how John Reid saved his life when they were boys.)

Fight to the death
As Tonto and the teenaged Dan Reid Jr. watched from the canyon floor below, Butch Cavendish stared in disbelief as the man before him on the canyon rim removed his mask to reveal his identity. The realization that the Lone Ranger – a man he vowed to kill – was really John Reid – a man he thought he had already killed.
All of a sudden the troubling pieces that have tormented him for 13 years fell into place, completing the picture in his mind that led to his imprisonment. How the physical evidence came to be used against him at trial and how the prosecutor had such an accurate account of the ambush suddenly made sense.
“You’ve wrecked my life for the last time, Johnny,” Cavendish said, practically spitting out the name in disrespect. “I killed you once and I’ll kill you again. And this time I’ll make sure you stay dead!”
Reid dropped the mask and bandana. He felt his aching muscles tighten as he readied himself for action. Cavendish lunged toward him with his knife held high. There was nowhere to go with the ledge behind him and scant room to move left or right.
At the last moment, Reid stepped to the side and reached out to block the knife-wielding arm. He moved just a shade too late. The blade cut into his thigh. The blow brought Reid to the ground. He clutched the wound to stem the flow of blood. Cavendish raised the knife again, bringing it down hard and fast.
The move was clumsy and Reid easily rolled out of the way – too easily. He rolled over the side but was able to grab onto ledge before plunging to his death below. The blood on his left hand made his grip tenuous at best. Cavendish stood there, glowering down at him. He raised his foot to stomp on Reid’s hands. As he did, Reid grabbed hold of boot, causing Cavendish to slip. As he fell, he drove the knife into the ground, giving him a firm handhold. He hung off the side with Reid precariously grasping him by the right foot.
Cavendish shook his leg and kicked vigorously at Reid with his left foot. Reid not only maintained a firm grip, but he was able to snare Cavendish’s other leg, securing his hold and preventing any more kicking. The more he struggled against Reid, the weaker his grip became on the knife and ledge above.
Giving up on dislodging Reid, Cavendish focused his strength and effort on pulling himself back up. As he got his waist over the side, Reid was finally high enough to grab the ledge himself. Letting go of his adversary, Reid climbed back onto solid ground and both men lay there gasping for breath.
Slowly, the men climbed to their feet and they lunged at each other, hammering blows with their fists. They battled for only a couple minutes when a blow to Reid’s face, coupled with the loss of blood from the knife wound, made him wobble and fall. Triumphantly, Cavendish charged and dove for Reid. Reacting instinctively, Reid grabbed Cavendish by the wrists and brought his legs up under him. He flipped Cavendish over his head. The enraged man slid over the edge, grabbing hold of the ledge in an attempt to stop his fall.
“Butch! Take my hand,” Reid said, laying on the ground and offering his hand to his former friend and mortal enemy.
“Never!” he shouted. “I’d rather die.”
With that he let go and he plunged nearly 60 feet to the canyon floor. He was dead the moment he hit the ground.
It took Reid about a half hour to climb back down and join Tonto and his nephew at the place where Cavendish’s body lay. A blanket was already spread over the corpse.
“So that was the man who killed my father,” Dan Reid said, more as a statement than a question.
“Yes Dan,” Reid, masked once again, said. “He killed your father, my brother, and Tonto’s father as well.”
“It is not good that any man should die,” Tonto said. “But I will not mourn him. A hate within me has been set free today. I am glad his is dead.”
“You are right, Tonto,” the Lone Ranger said. “A great hate was released today.”
(Copyright 2010, Joe Southern)