The best thing on TV is what I put there

My head is swimming in incomplete thoughts. Too often I stare at a blank page wondering what inspiring words of wisdom I will impart to my audience, only to find that those brilliant ideas of my twilight dreams have escaped me.
Every now and then I catch glimpses of them. I have plenty of starts and stops. One of the problems of having worked at three different newspapers in the last two years is remembering what topics I’ve written about to which audience. One of the benefits is being able to recycle old columns for my new audience here, but I try not to do that.
Throughout my seven years at my hometown newspaper in Colorado, I was always prohibited from writing about homosexuality. I could probably write a book on what the Bible has to say about it but have tried not to overdo that subject. Typically, per the name of my column, I like to write about my faith, my family and things I consider fun. Sometimes I’ll take on local topics, but not too often. My cute kids and wonderful wife often provide plenty of column fodder. But I don’t get to see them nearly enough with my lengthy commute to work and a busy family schedule of Boy Scouts and church activities.
Another frequent topic is the Lone Ranger, but I doubt there are many readers of the Waller County News Citizen who are as interested in the subject as I am. I know that will change in a couple years when Disney finally makes its new Lone Ranger movie, but until then I will try to contain my enthusiasm.
Halloween is coming up in a couple days, but I just wrote about costumes a couple weeks ago.
So, as you can see, my thoughts are bouncing around with no clear focus. (Anyone who knows me would say this is nothing new!) On the other hand, the page is no longer blank but is about a third full.
I guess this must be how it felt to be a writer for the old “Seinfeld” television show – a show about nothing. Now television is something I can write about. I rarely have anything good to say about it, though much of my life has been shaped by it.
As a kid, I grew up with “Star Trek,” “Batman,” “The Lone Ranger” (duh!), “Gilligan’s Island,” “The Brady Bunch,” and a host of Saturday morning kid’s programs. Among my favorites were “Land of the Lost,” “Superfriends,” “HR Pufinstuf,” “Batfink,” “Fat Albert” and of course the whole Looney Tunes gang.
In my adolescent years I got hooked on “M*A*S*H,” “Happy Days,” “Lavern and Shirley,” “Mork and Mindy,” “Grizzly Adams,” “Battlestar Galactica,” “Buck Rogers in the 25th Century” and “The Dukes of Hazzard.”
As an adult, my TV viewing has trimmed down to the various incarnations of “Star Trek,” the re-imagined “Battlestar Galactica” and NFL football. At one time I was a news junkie, but after a while that felt too much like work.
Now, most of the little bit of time I get to spend in front of the boob tube, I watch movies. They are a lot more entertaining than the drivel that passes for programming and you don’t have to contend with commercials and those annoyingly stupid pop-up ads that block half your screen.
With movies, I know ahead of time what is and is not appropriate for my children to watch. Most of the stuff on primetime does not pass the parent test.
If you were to look on the shelves of my entertainment center, in addition to a lot of Lone Ranger videos, you would see a lot of science fiction, fantasy and superhero movies. There is also a healthy mix of Disney stuff, especially the movies done by Pixar.
“Star Wars,” “Star Trek,” "Pirates of the Caribben" and “Harry Potter” are the most common titles in our collection, followed by “Spider-Man,” “Fantastic Four,” “Zorro,” “Batman,” “Ironman” and the like. My wife likes musicals, so we have a bunch of those. There are also the stand alone favorites like “Dances With Wolves,” “Passion of the Christ,” “Titanic,” “Pearl Harbor,” “Apollo 13,” “Sahara,” and “Night at the Museum.”
If we ever struggle between science fiction and a Western, we can usually resolve it with “Back to the Future 3.”
To be sure a lot of those movies have scenes that are not appropriate for children. I usually watch those after the little ones have gone to bed, or if they are out of the room. Sometimes I’ll just mute the TV or hit fast-forward. You don’t get that benefit with regular television. You don’t know when something inappropriate is coming up until it’s right in front of you.
Well now, what do you know? It looks like after all this rambling I’ve found something fun to talk about after all.

Fighting the culture war

To what extreme can we go with the freedom of expression as it abuts decent, moral standards?
That debate has been raging since the First Amendment was drafted more than 200 years ago. What is and isn’t permissible to say or do under protection of the Constitution has been continually tested, twisted and revised over the years.
The bottom line is an unmistakable and continual lowering of standards and a much more liberal interpretation of free speech. Back in the 1950s, Rob and Laura Petrie had to sleep in separate beds on “The Dick Van Dyke Show.” In the 1960s, The Monkees poked fun at the fact that you couldn’t say H-E-double hockey sticks on TV.
Fast-forward to today. Not only can vulgarities be heard on primetime television, but the words even appear in some of the titles. Recently, I was watching one of the popular detective programs on TV and was horrified to see nude bodies on full display in the morgue (with private parts washed out in bright lights).
As I’ve flipped through channels, I’ve seen scenes of gay men kissing. You wouldn’t have seen that on TV five years ago, let alone 60.
Back in 1969, the Best Picture Oscar went to “Midnight Cowboy” which was rated X at the time. After its win, the rating was lowered to an R. I’m told it would probably be PG-13 by today’s standards. I have not seen the film, nor do I want to.
As a young man in the 1980s, I recall a television commercial where the model is gushing enthusiastically about how wonderful her bra is. As she begins to disrobe to show it, there is a whistle in the background and she stops. I don’t even need to tell you how far lingerie ads go today.
The more desensitized we become to these things, the more acceptable they become and the further the envelope is pushed in order to get noticed. It happens in all forms of media. Every time a line is pushed or blurred, the standard gets lowered.
Even fashion cannot escape this problem. Hardly a day goes by where one does not see ample cleavage on display or outfits designed to enhance every curve of the body. It even happens in church, which just goes to show how much the erosion of standards has permeated our culture.
Where do we draw the line? Where do we say, this far and no farther? It seems that any attempt to uphold the standard is seen as censorship and a violation of First Amendment rights.
A couple weeks ago I wrote a column against gay “marriage.” It caught the usual flack about how we should not put religion over the Constitution. While I’m not going to debate that right now, it is abundantly clear that the gay agenda is being pushed to an obscene level in today’s culture. And the more we’re exposed to it, the more we accept it.
If you take the First Amendment to its most liberal interpretation, most anything would be permissible. It would be legal to say and show anything no matter how lewd or detestable it is. There would no longer be anything as foul language because it would all be protected as free speech. Nudity would go from obscene to obsolete.
If you don’t think there are people who can and will push things to their lowest level, I invite you to research the North American Man Boy Love Association sometime. It’s a real organization that advocates consensual sexual relations between men and boys.
Call me prude, or an old-fashioned fuddy-duddy, but I’m not afraid to draw the line and say this is wrong. I’m not afraid to fight in the culture wars. I’m not afraid to raise the bar and elevate the standards of decency.
As Promise Keepers co-founder Bill McCartney said once, “Men, we have been in a war, but we have not been AT war.”
I have been engaged in the culture war most of my professional career. There are battles I have lost and more that I will lose. But I also have my victories. Despite the long odds, the cause is just and noble and is in dire need for more who are willing to engage in the fight.
It must be made clear, however, that the culture war is just part of a bigger battle against Christianity. The Bible says that in the end times, many will be deceived by the great deceiver (Satan). Let me make some of these deceptions plain: the acceptance of evolution over creation; legalization of “medical” marijuana; the proliferation of porn; the growing belief that there is more than one way (Jesus) of getting to Heaven; abortion; Boy Scouts losing funding because of the organization’s stance on homosexuality; the loss of prayer in schools; the acceptance of pro-gay organizations in schools; and so much more.
I will shamelessly and without excuse stand up for what I know and believe to be right. Will you join me? Will you dare to stand up and face ridicule and scorn? I just did. And I’d like you to do it too.

Something to gawk about

What would it take to make Waller County a tourist destination?
Or maybe the better question is, do we want Waller County to become a tourist destination?
I’ve been giving the recent economic crisis a lot of thought. This area has been hit pretty hard; though not nearly as hard as other parts of the country. Still, there are some things that could be done that would bring an economic windfall to our little county. There are two ways of doing that.
The first is to lure some company here that manufactures a product – something on a large scale. But we lack the infrastructure to support anything with high energy and water demands. The next option is to create something that gives people a reason to come here. If you think about it, people flock to see three things: natural wonders, manmade wonders and historical sites.
How many of you at some point in time have seen or wanted to see the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, Yellowstone National Park or the beaches of Hawaii? Obviously Waller County cannot offer anything of that kind of splendor, so a natural attraction is out of the question.
In order to lure history buffs, we need a site of significant historical interest. While we do have Camp Groce, it is just one of numerous Civil War prison camps and by itself is hardly a reason to come here. This area lacks the attraction that Gettysburg, Little Big Horn, the Alamo, or even Johnson Space Center have to offer.
That leaves us with something manmade. People will travel far to see and experience something unique, like Mount Rushmore, the St. Louis Arch, the Statue of Liberty or a Disney theme park.
Just watch Tomball, for example. Entrepreneurs there are creating a Western-themed park called Grand Texas. Let the tourism dollars flow! With that will come support industries, such as restaurants, convenience stores and hotels.
Why can’t we do that here? Why can’t we build something big and unique that people will absolutely have to come and see? I mean, who would have thought that something like the St. Louis Arch would become a national symbol?
Just thinking off the top of my head, what if we built the world’s largest letters or word? What if we built a building out of the word “Texas” with the top of the “T” many stories high (20 to 50)? Inside this word would be a kind of mall and/or museum featuring all things Texas. Restaurants, curio shops, theaters and even a small theme park could be found inside. And it would give Texans another big thing to boast about. People would pay good money to view the world from the top of Texas. It would put other notable signs to shame, such as the famed Hollywood sign.
OK, so that idea may be a little far-fetched, but so was sticking the noses of 10 Cadillacs into the ground like Stanley Marsh 3 did in Amarillo. That little roadside attraction draws thousands of people each year.
That could be us, assuming that’s something we want. Or maybe we like Waller County the way it is, a bedroom community to Houston. Suffice to say, Waller County is not going to stay the same. This is the time the movers and shakers of the county need to be thinking about the future and what we want it to be.
Do we take control of our own destiny and create something significant or do we take a reactionary position and work with whatever happens to come this way? Maybe we want to think about preserving our agricultural heritage and creating permanent zones where no development can take place. It’s never too soon to be thinking about these things. You can be sure that if we don’t think about them, some big, out-of-town developer will be deciding for us what the future of Waller County will be. We wouldn’t want that now, would we?

Fun at the fair
I’m a nut for fairs and festivals. It’s ironic because I hate crowds, but there is something about a good old county fair that gets me excited. I didn’t get to spend nearly as much time at the Waller County Fair as I wanted to, but I really enjoyed what I did get to see.
Kudos to everyone who participated, especially the members of the fair association who work diligently year-round to make the fair the best it can be. It’s too bad the weather didn’t cooperate at the end when all the big-ticket events were happening. I know that hurt attendance and income. But it was still a good time for all those who attended.

It is not marriage if genders are the same

The battle for gay rights hit Texas hard last week when Dallas-area State District Court Judge Tena Callahan declared that the state’s ban against gay marriage was unconstitutional when she ruled that a gay couple married in another state had the right to divorce here.
I wholeheartedly disagree with the judge. I am adamantly opposed to gay marriage. Personally – and I’m only speaking for myself here, not the newspaper or our parent company – I think if homosexuals want “equality” they need to define their domestic relationships in terms other than “marriage.” What they want is not marriage. They want a legal sanctioning of their perversion.
Marriage involves the union of a man and a woman as the base for a family and the procreation of the species. Gay relationships do none of those things. That, however, is not to say that there cannot be loving and nurturing gay homes.
A gay relationship can be nothing more than two people of the same gender living together. It cannot by itself produce offspring nor continue a family line. Such unions are unnatural and perverse. Even if you keep religious objections out of it, living creatures were simply not designed for same gender intimacy. We’re not built with the parts to function that way.
Alas, I am straying from my point. Marriage has a very specific design and purpose – a purpose that is not met by people of the same gender. It is a spiritual, holy and sanctified relationship that goes much deeper than the legal definition.
While I oppose same-sex unions for biblical purposes, I can see and understand the point gay advocates make on behalf of wanting equality and the same rights as heterosexuals. This is America, and as Americans they should have the right to live their lives as they wish, no matter how repulsive it is. They should have all the legal trappings of a formal relationship that men and women do. But don’t call it marriage.
Don’t put it on the same level as marriage, which is at the core of a family. The family is the building block of all society. If you diminish marriage and family, you rip the very fabric of society.
If gay people are so adamant about being “married,” then let them pow-wow with the lawyers and come up with a new term and definition for what they want. Let them come up with their own ceremony, their own traditions and their own form of a legal relationship.
What they want should be set apart from what is, because it is not the same. There is also the issue of forcing employers to provide benefits to same-sex partners. That’s touchy because it does border on discrimination, but it also violates an employer’s freedom of religion to force him to provide it.
It’s my opinion that benefits are not a Constitutional right and an employer should not be made by the government to provide them if the employer doesn’t want to. At the very least there should be a religious exemption for an employer to claim in refusing to hire or insure homosexuals, especially for churches and other ministry organizations where such relationships violate core beliefs.
On that note, I feel the state’s laws dictating that marriage is between one man and one woman is Constitutional and does not build discrimination into the law. It is not discrimination, but protection of something very sacred and important to who we are as a people. To violate that sanctity would be an act of discrimination.

That’s not how I would have done it
I have a feeling the Rev. Clarence Talley’s From the Pulpit column had a record number of readers last week. I’m sure it will again this week.
Last week he confessed to an affair in his column – one that had the approval of his family. This week he names his mistress (spoiler alert – stop here if you haven’t read it yet on Page 6A). His affair is with wisdom. He feminized it after the writings of King Solomon from the Old Testament. Solomon is considered the wisest man to ever live. I can’t say the same for the Rev. Talley.
I fully understand what he was doing in his sensational way. But if my initial reaction was mirrored by his readers, there are more than a few people out there who think he was talking about an affair with a real woman. He put his reputation on the line in a cleaver rouse – not something a truly wise person would do.
But to each his own. I’m sure he is getting his point across and to a much larger audience than he would normally have had. Kudos to him for that.
(Note: Part of this column previously appeared in the Herford Brand last year.)

Halloween is about costumes, candy

Halloween is just 30 days away.
Scary, I know.
Halloween was always one of my favorite holidays. It involved two things that I really enjoy: costumes and candy. I’ve always been a very shy, self-conscious and soft-spoken person. But something about putting on a costume is very liberating.
Some of my earliest memories are of pinning on a bath towel and pretending to be Batman or putting on a cheap straw hat and being a cowboy. Sometimes I’d be Captain Kirk or Luke Skywalker.
Being the oldest of three boys, I was always the main hero whenever we pretended to be various characters. I was never Robin or Tonto or the bad guy. I had to be the hero. I think my siblings may still harbor some resentment over that. But I make no apologies – age does have its privileges.
As a little kid, my mother always made a big deal about the day we would go to Kmart and get our costumes. She would announce the day weeks in advance and let the anticipation build. Of course we would look at ads in the newspapers and even browse the costume isle at Kmart to figure out exactly what we wanted to be.
I don’t know why we got so excited about those flimsy plastic suits with the face masks held on by an elastic band. We just did. I recall one time being wet-your-pants excited about being the Road Runner. I was so proud of that costume. I must have taken it out of the box a dozen times a day and showed it off to everyone that came to the house.
Of course, the costumes – if they survived Halloween night – were usually damaged within a week and trashed and forgotten not long after that.
One of the certainties I could count on was having it snow or be very cold on Halloween night in Colorado. Too often, the prized outfit was covered up under a jacket. While that dampened my spirit, I was quickly cheered by the gobs of candy we accumulated going door to door. There is nothing like a sugar high to take your mind off of the great costume that nobody got to see.
In the sixth grade I went as Captain Kirk. Only, I wore my Star Trek shirt so often that no one realized I was actually in costume. And being on crutches because of a sprained ankle didn’t help.
As with most kids, the older I got, the less interested in Halloween I became. My first year in college, some classmates went trick-or-treating through the dorm dressed in costumes they threw together. When they reached my room, we asked if they were having any luck.
They opened their bag to reveal a few pieces of candy, some pencils, a few coins and a whole bunch of beer and condoms.
In high school and college, I spent my summers on staff at a Boy Scout camp. Three of those years I was the mountain man, dressed in buckskins and teaching wilderness survival. I got a lot of attention being in costume and loved it.
As an adult, I have gone to many sci-fi conventions. I always loved seeing the people dress in costumes. I never did, but envied those who paraded around as their favorite characters, getting all the attention and posing for lots of photos.
I finally got to experience that feeling last year when we celebrated the 75th anniversary of the Lone Ranger at the Memphis Film Festival. I got to wear my brand new Lone Ranger outfit for three days. It was a blast. I posed for numerous photos and got to meet many nice people. I have worn the outfit in several parades since then and enjoy doing it.
Being in costume is a release from reality. You get to be someone (or something) else for a while and allow a different side of your personality to come out. I guess that’s why I like Halloween so much. I’ve never been into the whole, scary, gory, bloody part of it. I always liked the fun.
I’ve always been turned off by the evil side of Halloween. I see no reason to celebrate death, pain and suffering. It’s an aspect of society that we get too much of already.
What I would really like to see Halloween become is a celebration of fun. I’d rather go to a fun house than a haunted house. I find Stormtroopers and superheroes far more appealing than zombies and vampires.
I think costume balls could be the trendy thing to do. I think folks would have a whole lot more fun at a dance or hoedown than they would at any haunted house. But that’s just me and obviously there are those who disagree.
Now I get to enjoy Halloween vicariously through my children. They love dressing up, especially Colton, the youngest. At least he’s young enough to not be embarrassed when Dad shows up in his Lone Ranger outfit. In fact, he joined me as such in the Waller County Fair parade.
Hi-yo Silver, away!