A call to end bullying at all levels

When I was a boy in elementary and junior high school, I was bullied relentlessly and mercilessly.

There was hardly a day that went by in school where someone didn’t taunt me, call me names, or threaten me with violence. Because of it, I hated school and was often afraid to go. Most of the time it was mild stuff that I could shrug off, but not always. Unfortunately, a lot of it hit hard emotionally and impacted me deeply. It gave me an inferiority complex and churned a deep, explosive anger within me. It took many years into my adulthood to get both under control.

To this day if there is one thing I cannot stand it’s a bully. Worse are those who side with the bully, cheering him on and jeering his victims. In 2022 there was a stabbing at Wharton High School that allegedly sprang from a bullying problem. While I do not condone what happened, I can relate. So often I wanted to harm and humiliate my bullies. I didn’t do that, but the feelings were there.

Today there is better understanding of the impacts of bullying. Many schools across the nation have anti-bullying programs and policies. The Houston Texans mascot TORO has a very impactful anti-bulling program for schools that I recommend.

The impact that bullying had on me ultimately helped shape my character. Rather than cave in to the hate and anger, I turned to my Christian faith and rose above the evil within. I was determined to become a man of integrity. Truth, honesty, loyalty, caring, decency, and a host of other positive character traits are what I strive for and what I feel defines me as a man and a leader.

I am a firm believer in servant leadership. The best leaders are not bosses; they’re doers. They’re the ones who equip those under their guidance to perform better and at a higher standard. They come along side and share the load. They rise by lifting others up. A true leader will listen with the intent to understand before speaking and trying to be understood. They put the needs of others first. They are consensus builders.

Bullies are not true leaders. Bullies are self-serving and power hungry. They create an atmosphere of fear. They rise by putting others down. They act tough and wield fear and intimidation like a surgeon’s scapple or a sledge hammer. They demand respect but never give it in return.

As leaders they have a win-at-all-cost attitude. They don’t seek win-win solutions, only win-lose. They will lie, cheat, and steal and think nothing of it. They use people as a means to get what they want and then discard them when they no longer seem useful. Bullies gloss over their misdeeds with charm and charisma. They get people to overlook their shortcomings with misdirection, manipulation, and peer pressure.

People will admire bullies for their bold strength while ignoring the suffering of those they step on in the process. They will emulate the hate and teach their young to do likewise. I know this to be true because I experienced it in school and I see it today on social media. Bulling isn’t limited to school playgrounds. It pervades all aspects of society, especially at the top.

There is a monstrous bully stalking our country and his name is Donald Trump. He checks all the bully boxes and then some. Yet people throw themselves at his feet and parade him though as if he were some divine savior or magnanimous ruler.

If you don’t believe me, just step back and watch his actions and listen to his words. He uses derogatory terms and name-calling when he speaks about anyone or anything he opposes. During his presidency he was caught making false or misleading claims 30,573 times according to the Washington Post. The Toronto Star calculated that he made an average 6.1 false claims per day between 2017 and 2019.

Even now as he campaigns for the Republican nomination Trump is under four criminal indictments and faces 91 felony charges, mostly stemming from his false claims that there was widespread voter fraud in the 2020 election and that the election was stolen from him. He is also one of three presidents to have been impeached (and not once, but twice!).

And whether he was the ringleader or cheerleader, he clearly backed the Jan. 6, 2021, insurrection and invasion of the U.S. Capitol. Of that there is no doubt.

During his presidency there was a revolving door of personnel on his cabinet and other positions that report to him. He either fired those who angered him or else those with an ounce of integrity quit. He has so intimidated the Republican Party that it doesn’t even have a platform to run on. The party is waiting on Trump to dictate it.

Trump has a long history of bullying. You really don’t need to look further than his trail of ex-wives, former girlfriends, and mistresses to see how he treats women. You can go back and look at his trail of bankruptcies to see how he behaves in business. As a reality TV host, his catchphrase was “You’re fired!” More recently, a judge has had to issue a gag order against him to keep him from slandering his prosecutors and other court personnel.

Set aside his politics for the moment. Judge him by his character. Character is essential to good leadership. We need a president who is a true statesman. We need someone who will help mend the deep division in this country and unite us as a people. I don’t see that in Trump (or Joe Biden for that matter).

We need to bring bullying to an end everywhere from the White House to the schoolyard. There is just no place for that kind of behavior in a civilized society. I urge you not to condone it wherever you see it.