Full house, empty nest, it’s all good

Two meals and a church service.

That’s all we had together and then it was over.

It wasn’t until it happened to me that I realized just how important it is for parents to have their adult children over for a visit. Wesley, our oldest son, just spent a four-day weekend with us, visiting from Florida. Luke, our middle son, came up for the weekend from his home in rural Fort Bend County. Joining their youngest brother, Colton, we had all three of our sons together for a couple days. Only the absence of their sister, Heather, who lives near Seattle, Washington, kept us from being a complete family.

Since Heather lived mostly with her mother growing up, it was usually just the five of us at home. As a parent, having children around is something you get used to. It’s a comforting feeling having a house full of kiddos. And then one by one they leave. Colton is still at home while he attends Texas A&M. After next year, however, he will be gone – probably to pursue his master’s degree elsewhere – leaving Sandy and me with an empty nest.

We’ve never had an empty nest before. I came into our marriage with Heather and she had Wesley. In our 24 years together, we’ve always had children at home. We have had a taste of the empty nest on occasion, but nothing longer than a week. Last weekend, however, it finally hit me just how much I miss the kids.

Even with Wesley and Luke here, we were all scattered to the four winds. I spent Saturday at The George Ranch (formerly known as George Ranch Historic Park) with the Texas Army doing 1830s camp and shooting demonstrations in honor of Texas Independence Day. Sandy and the boys were busy working on a number of mechanical projects. They raided a junk yard for car parts and worked on Colton’s car. They also tuned up our riding mower and tackled some other broken machines.

When I got home that evening, we all sat down together for dinner. It was the first time in a long time that the five of us were seated around the table for a meal. I nearly choked up thanking God for bringing us all together as I said grace. Listening to the boys cutting up and joking around during dinner warmed my heart. It was though as if nothing had changed, including the maturity of the humor.

We didn’t eat breakfast together as we all got up at different times. We were together for church and lunch at home afterward. That was it for time with the family. Two meals and a church service. Luke had to leave and the rest of us went to work on various projects. On Monday afternoon Wesley headed to the airport and his home in Florida. All of a sudden, the house is quiet and everything is back to normal.

Fortunately, our schedule this month is excessively busy, so there will not be a lot of time to dwell on the emptiness. On the contrary, I’m embracing the fullness of life and all of the challenges and opportunities God has provided. I’m very grateful for the brief time we got to share together and look forward to more good times ahead.

At the same time, I’m looking forward to finally having an empty nest. The few times I’ve had alone with Sandy have been very enjoyable. We are both eying Colton’s bedroom once he’s gone. I want a man cave and Sandy wants a craft room. I have little doubt that after logically talking it over and reaching a reasonable compromise that it will be a craft room.

Don’t get me wrong, we love the kids and they’re welcome home anytime. It’s just that we’ve rarely had the house to ourselves. Having random days without kids has shown that we really enjoy each other’s company. Working to build our hobby farm has definitely brought us even closer together. We share hopes, dreams, thoughts, and ideas as we shape our property into a functional farm. It’s exiting to see things go from concept to reality knowing we did it together.

Now that our children are grown and branching out on their own, we look forward to seeing them marry, start families, and pursue their hopes, dreams and adventures. And someday we will once again have all of them back home with their spouses and children, hopefully for visits that last longer than two meals and a church service.