Friendships and Facebook

I have never been one for social networking sites on the Internet.
A few months ago my wife talked me into joining Facebook. Now I’m a Facebook junkie. I have connected with scores of friends that I have not seen in years, even decades. It’s free, easy to use and very addictive.
One of the popular things going around now on Facebook is “25 Random Things About Me.” In it, you list odd facts about yourself and then invite your friends to do the same.
Another thing that’s popular is a tie-in from the movie “The Bucket List.” In it, obviously, you list the things you want to do before you kick the bucket.
In doing those things I have become aware of just how much I’ve done in the first half of my life and how much remains to be done. I guess it’s a creative way to cope with a midlife crisis.
I won’t bore you with the details of my life or my humble ambitions. What I do want to say is that being on Facebook has taught me the value of friendships – or more specifically, the value of relationships.
The only thing we get to take with us beyond the grave is the knowledge of what we did in this life. Money, things and property will all remain behind. Our relationships and how we treat the people around us will actually carry weight in the great beyond. I know this because when Jesus summed up the 10 Commandments, it was one of two commands. First is to love God and the second is to love others.
It’s natural for us to want to do stuff, see sights and own things. It’s more important, however, to share those things with others. What good is it to see the most magnificent wonders of the world if you can’t share the experience with another person?
What good is your collection of stuff if no one else has the benefit of seeing or using it? What good is land if you are on it alone?
I’ve often thought of the irony behind the name of one of my favorite fictional heroes – the Lone Ranger. It’s often believed by many that he is the Alone Ranger, a man who does things on his own and goes his own way.
The “Lone” part actually means “last.” He was the lone survivor of an ambush. Anyone who knows anything about the character knows he was anything but alone. In addition to his Indian friend Tonto, he had a huge network of friends – mostly lawmen – around the West. Wherever he went, he either had friends or he made them.
In the seven years that I have owned the Lone Ranger Fan Club, I have forged friendships around the world. Most of the people I associate with I have never met in person. Phone calls, e-mails and letters have been my only connection.
One of the things I have learned is that the club is not so much about the character as it is the connection – the relationship – I have with likeminded people.
On Facebook, I am connected with people from many of the different phases and places from my life. I have friends that I have never met and others I may never see again. But with this amazing tool I can stay connected with them. I can laugh at their jokes, pray for their needs and concerns, and encourage them in trying times. I can learn interesting things about them and I can share in the mundane things of everyday life.
In short, I see Facebook as a way to learn more about my family and friends. The more I learn, the more I can appreciate them and really love them.
Still, as much fun as Facebook is, it cannot replace good old-fashioned human interaction. It’s one thing to tell someone you spent a day on the beach. It’s quite another to be at the beach with them. It’s been hard for me to make new friends here outside of work. I’m new to the area. Where I live and where I work are about 50 miles apart. Work usually has me away from home from 7 a.m. to 6 or 7 p.m. on weekdays. That doesn’t leave a lot of time for meeting and getting to know people.
We’ve slowly been getting to know people through church and we’re finally getting connected again with Scouts. It’s been a slow process, but experience tells me it will be rewarding. I’ve made a few acquaintances since moving here and I look forward to turning them into friends.
In the meantime, you can find me on Facebook, or here in my office. Either way, I’d be happy to call you friend.
Oscar madness
I watched most of the Oscars last Sunday. I don’t know about you, but I was sickened each time they showed a clip from “Milk” with two men kissing. I was disgusted and sickened. Have our standards dropped so much that this can pass for primetime fare?
Shame on ABC and shame on the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for their inexcusable attempt to pass this perverse act as something mainstream America – especially our children – should accept as the norm. I find this lowering of standards intolerable.
It’s one thing for someone to pay to see it in a darkened theater. It’s a different matter altogether to make us watch it in what should be a family-friendly primetime television show.