Full house, empty nest, it’s all good

Two meals and a church service.

That’s all we had together and then it was over.

It wasn’t until it happened to me that I realized just how important it is for parents to have their adult children over for a visit. Wesley, our oldest son, just spent a four-day weekend with us, visiting from Florida. Luke, our middle son, came up for the weekend from his home in rural Fort Bend County. Joining their youngest brother, Colton, we had all three of our sons together for a couple days. Only the absence of their sister, Heather, who lives near Seattle, Washington, kept us from being a complete family.

Since Heather lived mostly with her mother growing up, it was usually just the five of us at home. As a parent, having children around is something you get used to. It’s a comforting feeling having a house full of kiddos. And then one by one they leave. Colton is still at home while he attends Texas A&M. After next year, however, he will be gone – probably to pursue his master’s degree elsewhere – leaving Sandy and me with an empty nest.

We’ve never had an empty nest before. I came into our marriage with Heather and she had Wesley. In our 24 years together, we’ve always had children at home. We have had a taste of the empty nest on occasion, but nothing longer than a week. Last weekend, however, it finally hit me just how much I miss the kids.

Even with Wesley and Luke here, we were all scattered to the four winds. I spent Saturday at The George Ranch (formerly known as George Ranch Historic Park) with the Texas Army doing 1830s camp and shooting demonstrations in honor of Texas Independence Day. Sandy and the boys were busy working on a number of mechanical projects. They raided a junk yard for car parts and worked on Colton’s car. They also tuned up our riding mower and tackled some other broken machines.

When I got home that evening, we all sat down together for dinner. It was the first time in a long time that the five of us were seated around the table for a meal. I nearly choked up thanking God for bringing us all together as I said grace. Listening to the boys cutting up and joking around during dinner warmed my heart. It was though as if nothing had changed, including the maturity of the humor.

We didn’t eat breakfast together as we all got up at different times. We were together for church and lunch at home afterward. That was it for time with the family. Two meals and a church service. Luke had to leave and the rest of us went to work on various projects. On Monday afternoon Wesley headed to the airport and his home in Florida. All of a sudden, the house is quiet and everything is back to normal.

Fortunately, our schedule this month is excessively busy, so there will not be a lot of time to dwell on the emptiness. On the contrary, I’m embracing the fullness of life and all of the challenges and opportunities God has provided. I’m very grateful for the brief time we got to share together and look forward to more good times ahead.

At the same time, I’m looking forward to finally having an empty nest. The few times I’ve had alone with Sandy have been very enjoyable. We are both eying Colton’s bedroom once he’s gone. I want a man cave and Sandy wants a craft room. I have little doubt that after logically talking it over and reaching a reasonable compromise that it will be a craft room.

Don’t get me wrong, we love the kids and they’re welcome home anytime. It’s just that we’ve rarely had the house to ourselves. Having random days without kids has shown that we really enjoy each other’s company. Working to build our hobby farm has definitely brought us even closer together. We share hopes, dreams, thoughts, and ideas as we shape our property into a functional farm. It’s exiting to see things go from concept to reality knowing we did it together.

Now that our children are grown and branching out on their own, we look forward to seeing them marry, start families, and pursue their hopes, dreams and adventures. And someday we will once again have all of them back home with their spouses and children, hopefully for visits that last longer than two meals and a church service.

Eggs are expensive and chickens ain’t cheap

The price of eggs at the supermarket is high – as is everything else – but let me tell you, the cost of raising chickens ain’t cheap.

At the time of this writing we do not own any chickens, but that will soon change. When Sandy and I moved to the Bryan/College Station area last summer, our goal was to turn our little 2.76-acre homestead into a hobby farm. We spent a lot of time and treasure getting the ground ready for the first phase of our project. In the last couple of weeks we have tilled our two gardens and are now transplanting the vegetable sprouts we raised in our kitchen and in our greenhouse.

In the meantime we have been slowly building a chicken coop. It’s basically a big wooden box on stilts built with old pallets, discarded plywood, leftover 2x4s, and some old wooden fence slats. It has that old, rustic look and feel that you get at really good barbecue restaurants that are decorated in repurposed barn wood and rusty corrugated tin siding.

Even using freebee scraps of wood we have had to sink a small fortune into it to buy nails, screws, roofing materials, hinges, latches, and 4x4 boards to make the stilts. We built it inside a 10-foot by 10-foot chain-link dog kennel the previous owners of our property left behind. About all we have left to do is wrap it in hardware cloth to cover the sizeable gaps we left for ventilation. When all is said and done, our scrap pile chicken coop will cost us upward of $300. And we still don’t have chickens.

The other day we shopped around for chicks at several places and wound up at Tractor Supply, where we utilized a Christmas gift card to purchase brooder box supplies, bedding, and some feed. That set us back another $80 – and still no chickens. After shopping around, we have come to learn that the price of a baby fuzzball chick is about $4-5. We want at least a dozen, so that will come to about $60. When you figure in the cost of more feed and bedding throughout the spring and summer, we will have spent about $500 before we even see the first egg.

Fortunately, we are doing the work ourselves, so we don’t have labor costs involved. Hobby farming itself is a real labor of love. It’s therapeutic to be outside working the soil, planting vegetables and trees, using power tools to build things, and appreciating the nature all around you. Now that we’re getting things in the ground, nature is becoming a bigger concern. We will need to put fences around the gardens very soon to keep the critters out.

I enjoy having wildlife on our property, but I don’t want them eating the fruits of our labor. We get excited when we get deer sneaking up to drink from our pond, but now I’m leery of them with the seeds and sprouts in the ground. In a couple months when the chickens christen the coop we will have to be vigilant against varmints such as raccoons, opossums, and certain snakes. I’m pretty sure the red-shouldered hawk living nearby will be a concern as well.

When we do finally buy our baby birds, we are being very picky about the breeds. We want chickens that can handle the hot Texas summers and also produce a whole passel of eggs. That narrows it down to just a few types and they’re not easy to come by yet. I’m thinking we may have to special order them, especially if we want to avoid getting roosters. The chicks at the stores are not always sexed, so you can’t tell what you’re getting. They also tend to be hybrids, and we’d prefer to have hearty, traditional breeds such as black Australorps and barred Plymouth Rocks.

In doing our shopping and research, we have learned that a lot of people are getting into backyard chickens. We’ve been told that the number of people buying chickens and chicken supplies is up significantly this year. It’s not only chickens that are popular. We’re on a bandwagon of people buying ducks as well. They’re a little harder to keep than chickens, but we have the advantage of owning a small pond for them. So, once the chickens are going we will turn our attention to ducks and building a duck house. They will be followed by rabbits.

Eventually in a couple years we hope to add alpacas or maybe goats and/or sheep. No pigs! I hate raising pigs. I’ll buy bacon but I won’t raise it.

I’m also thinking very seriously about getting back into beekeeping. If you can keep your hives alive it can be a very profitable venture. The trick is keeping the bees going. With so many pesticides and industrial crops engineered to be pest resistant, it can be very difficult for bees to survive. I live in an area where those threats would be very minimal.

I’ve rambled on long enough about things other than chickens. The thing is, farm fresh eggs from pasture raised chickens are not only better for you than the plain white eggs in the store, they taste a whole lot better. The up-front costs to get started may be high, but eventually they will pay for themselves in terms of dollars, good nutrition, and a great experience raising them. I can’t wait for September when I’m selling fresh eggs to customers or cracking them into my omelets.

What will your obituary say about you?

When I was studying journalism at Adams State College, my instructor Richard Joyce challenged us in one of our classes to write our own obituary.

He was dead serious about it. For a bunch of kids barely in our 20s, if even that old, it was hard to take the assignment that serious. Our whole lives were ahead of us. Few of us had actually accomplished anything of significance by that point and even fewer were certain where we wanted to go in life.

I don’t remember what I wrote but have often wished I kept the paper. The purpose of the assignment was to make us think not only of the future and what we wanted to accomplish in life, but also about the kind of person we wanted to be. I didn’t have a girlfriend at the time, yet I had to imagine having a wife and kids. I didn’t have a job, but I had to imagine my career.

Since we were learning how to write obituaries, we decided to have some fun with it. In our small class there were plenty of Pulitzer Prize winners, multi-millionaires, famous celebrities, great athletes, and so on. A couple of my buddies and I did some brainstorming over some adult beverages, but then came the sobering realization that in addition to predicting our future, we also had to predict the day we would die and what our cause of death would be.

I do remember predicting that I will die on Oct. 31, 2065. I was going to live to be 100 and I was going to die on Halloween because I had been through a stretch of bad things happening to me on Halloween. I felt superstitious about it. I don’t know why I believed I would live to 100, it just seemed like a reasonable old age. I don’t recall what killed me.

I recently wrote my obituary again, this time for real. No, I’m not dying or planning to die. It’s just that obituaries have been on my mind a lot lately. After moving to Bryan/College Station last summer, one of my side jobs has been writing obituaries for Texas Aggie magazine published by The Association of Former Students at Texas A&M.

Truth be told, writing is kind of a misnomer. I glean key details from obituaries and but them in an eight-line summary that appears in the magazine. I read a lot of obits and learn some fascinating things about people I’ll never know. I also see a lot of signs where family members have struggled to fill in the dash between the birth date and death date. Having been the designated obit writer for my family – coupled with years of obit writing experience in newspapers – I know very well how hard it is to adequately summarize someone’s life when you’re grieving and preparing for a funeral.

I don’t want my family to have to struggle with my life story when my time comes to pass. It will be in a document on my computer desktop. All they will need to do is provided the day of death and add the funeral information. The rest of the details are in place. I plan to make regular revisions to it as needed because there is still a lot of life left to live and hopefully grandchildren and great-grandchildren to add to the survivor’s list.

Another reason I want an accurate obituary is because of the struggles I’ve had researching my family tree. There is so much conflicting information that I may never truly know for sure which ancestors are mine and what information about them I can trust. I want the generations that follow me to have a clear, concise record they can depend on.

The idea for writing my own obituary sprouted from a seed planted at a funeral I covered about 20 years ago. I don’t remember his name, but he was a firefighter with a sharp wit and a hilariously twisted sense of humor. He had a terminal disease and knew his time was short, so he wrote his own eulogy. He chose who would speak, and each speaker played off his cues. It was hilarious! Everyone left feeling uplifted and entertained – just the way he wanted it.

As I work my way through batches of obits each month for the magazine, I have become impressed at the quality individuals the university produces. There are a lot of entrepreneurs, business owners, veterinarians, doctors, captains of industry, and so on. Many of them are Christians and dedicated to their family. Sure, there are a few losers, but they are few and far between. Most Aggies live to be north of 75 years of age and the oldest so far was 102. The youngest was a college freshman who died in an accident.

In doing the obituaries, you get a deep appreciation for how short and fragile life is. Every day is a gift and you never know which one is your last. That’s why you should make today the best that it can be. Taking risks is better than living with regret. Ultimately, dedicating yourself to God and your family is the most important thing you can do. They are the only ones who are going to care once you’ve breathed your last.

Oh, and by the way, one of the benefits we learned in writing our own obituaries in school is that it’s the only way you’re guaranteed to get in the last word.

Football is over, bring on fair season!

With football season over, it’s time to embrace a short-lived but wildly exciting season as the Wharton County Youth Fair and the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo get underway.

Fair and rodeo season is a time of fun and intense competition. The youth fair and the livestock portion of the HLSR are proving grounds for farm kids. If you don’t think raising animals is competitive, you ought to come out and watch the judging sometime. Unless you have a personal stake in the show, the judging can be pretty boring to watch. When you realize, however, what these kids have invested into their projects and the rewards they can reap, you begin to see just how important these contests are.

These kids (and their parents) spend a long time raising their project animal(s). For most of a year they will be out twice a day or more feeding, watering, grooming, and working their animals to prep them for show. There is no time off for bad weather, sick days, or even vacation. Not only do the animals require a lot of grooming and training, but the kids must learn how to show their animals and discover the characteristics judges are looking for. They also have to work on themselves (and their record keeping) as much as they do their animals because showmanship counts.

For the kids, there is a three-tiered investment in their project animals. The first is financial. Raising an animal – even something as small as a rabbit – isn’t cheap. You need land, cages/pens, food and water dishes, plenty of food and water and other nutrients, veterinary care, the required tagging or marking, all on top of the initial purchase price of the animal.

The second is the investment of time. A lot of FFA and 4-H members are up extra early each morning and oftentimes up late at night caring for their animals. Sometimes it means sacrificing other things, such as sports or other extracurricular activities, weekend outings, time with friends, time to goof off, and so on, in order to prioritize the care of your animals.

The third investment is emotional. It’s easy to get attached to an animal that you have raised, especially when you have spent so much time and money on it. Knowing that your animal will be sold and likely eaten can be tough to handle, although that is the goal of the competition. It’s also emotional because as badly as you want to win, you want your friends to win as well.

So, while watching the judging may not seem exciting, once you factor in all the behind-the-scenes stuff, it gets really intense. Victory can bring a pretty penny along with pride and bragging rights.

But getting back to the fairs and rodeos, they are just plain fun. Rodeo action is as exciting as any sport out there. Unlike the cushioned and padded athletes on the gridiron, rodeo stars can have life and limb on the line, especially in the rough stock events. Outside the rodeo there are carnival rides, exhibitor booths, home economic and art/craft booths, and a host of other entertainments.

This year the WCYF runs March 16-23. The HLSR runs Feb. 27 to March 17. When most people think of the Houston show, they think of the nightly rodeos and concerts. The rodeo is among the best in the world, featuring the best athletes, both animal and human.

This year’s concert lineup, while it doesn’t excite me personally, features some of the top touring acts today. I like Blake Shelton, Brad Paisley, and For King and Country. Most younger people are going to get excited about Luke Bryan, Lainey Wilson, 50 Cent, Jelly Roll, Hank Williams Jr., Nickelback, Jonas Brothers, and the Zac Brown Band, to name a few.

Some of my fondest childhood memories are of the Boulder County Fair in my hometown of Longmont, Colorado. In 4-H I showed rabbits and bees. My brothers had pigs, calves, and sheep. They made money. I had fun. We all got ribbons. I also loved going to the National Western Stock Show and Rodeo each January in Denver. That’s where I developed my love of rodeo.

The sights, sounds, and smells of a fair and rodeo all stir the soul. It’s family friendly and reflects traditional, homegrown rural America. It’s as grass roots as it gets – our heritage in a nutshell. If you haven’t been to a fair lately – or at all – this would be a great time to get out an experience what you’ve been missing. You don’t need boots and a cowboy hat, but it helps. And the bottom line is, in addition to having fun, it supports the kids and the future of American agriculture.

Chiefs vs 49ers again – at least it’s not the Cowboys

The stage is set for Super Bowl LVIII (58). The big show will feature the Kansas City Chiefs against the San Francisco 49ers at Allegiant Stadium (home of the Las Vegas Raiders) in Paradise, Nevada.

On Sunday, our country will come to a standstill for the big game (or for the commercials for non-football fans or for glimpses of Taylor Swift for all the Swifties).

It’s hard for me to say which team I’ll root for. As a diehard Denver Broncos fan, I don’t want to see a division rival find success. And also as a Broncos fan, I can give you 55-10 reasons why I don’t want the 49ers to win. Given the choice, I’ll probably have to go with the Chiefs because I can’t bring myself to forgive the 49ers for Super Bowl XXIV.

The first Super Bowl I ever watched was Super Bowl XII when the Denver Broncos played the Dallas Cowboys. It was also the first football game I watched in its entirety. Although Denver lost to the Cowboys, that game made me both a football fan and a lifetime Broncomaniac. It also made me a Cowboys hater. I’ve come to loathe any team that beats the Broncos in the Super Bowl, and that’s become a long list!

Whenever the Broncos make it to the Super Bowl, I find that the longest, most agonizing weeks of my life are the two between the AFC Championship and the big game itself. As a Broncos fan, the most agonizing two months are usually those after the Super Bowl. Although the Broncos are 3-5 in the Super Bowl, it’s still much better than being 0-0. And, for the record, Denver is 3-1 in the Super Bowl since the Cowboys last played in the game. Just sayin’.

But you probably don’t want to hear about the Broncos (shame on you!). This is Houston Texans country with widespread support for that team in South Oklahoma. I am a huge Texans fan, which is another reason to not like the Cowboys. I’ll be the first to admit that I thought rookie quarterback CJ Stroud was going to be a draft bust given the way he played in the preseason and the first few games of the regular season. I have since learned the errors of my way and am now a fan of that kid.

I just hope that he learns the lessons lost on so many professional athletes who suddenly come into fame and wealth. Most of them can’t handle it. Given Stroud’s strong Christian faith, I have hopes that he will keep a level head and not be sucked up into the trappings of fame and fortune. The same for Tank Dell, Will Anderson Jr., and a lot of the new players on the Texans roster.

This team has the core personnel to go a lot further next year than they did this year when they came out of nowhere to reach the Divisional Round of the playoffs. They will be a lot of fun to watch next year.

In the meantime, we have Super Bowl LVIII coming up. The Super Bowl has become an unofficial national holiday. Even a lot of people who purport to be boycotting the NFL will tune in. It’s interesting how the NFL can manage to stay mired in controversy yet draw huge support. With the 49ers back in the big game there will undoubtedly be more reminders of their former quarterback, Colin Kaepernick, and his highly controversial kneeling during the playing of the national anthem.

Kaepernick did a good thing by raising awareness of racism in this country, but he went about it the wrong way. He taught millions of people to disrespect the United States and its symbols. That lack of respect remains today as players and many fans either refuse to stand for the anthem or otherwise refuse to place their hands over their hearts while it is played. I find that to be intolerable, un-American, and disrespectful. Yet I’m still a fan of the NFL and find myself cheering those same players once the game is underway. It’s hypocritical, I know.

Despite all the controversy over that and other issues in the NFL, I do greatly respect that they allow the players to be open and bold about their Christian faith. This is one of the things I love about CJ Stroud and the two starting quarterbacks in Sunday’s game. Stroud is quick to praise God every chance he gets (even if the networks edit out his comments). No, the NFL isn’t perfect but it does a lot right and it’s fun to watch. Even Major League Baseball – which has a longer and more storied history – can’t bring the nation together for a single game like the NFL does. The world doesn’t stop for seven games of the World Series like it does for the Super Bowl.

Don’t get me wrong, I love baseball and miss photographing the games of the Houston Astros and the Sugar Land Space Cowboys. One of my greatest experiences photographing professional sports was covering the World Series in 2019 when the Astros took on the Nationals.

I hope someday to be able to photograph the Broncos or Texans in the Super Bowl. The closest I came was in 2017 when Houston made the playoffs and the Super Bowl was being held at NRG Stadium. I did get “week of” credentials to cover all the activities related to the game, but did not get game credentials.

Oh well, that just leaves something to look forward to. Meanwhile we have a rematch of Super Bowl LIV coming up. Here’s hoping for a similar outcome.

A call to end bullying at all levels

When I was a boy in elementary and junior high school, I was bullied relentlessly and mercilessly.

There was hardly a day that went by in school where someone didn’t taunt me, call me names, or threaten me with violence. Because of it, I hated school and was often afraid to go. Most of the time it was mild stuff that I could shrug off, but not always. Unfortunately, a lot of it hit hard emotionally and impacted me deeply. It gave me an inferiority complex and churned a deep, explosive anger within me. It took many years into my adulthood to get both under control.

To this day if there is one thing I cannot stand it’s a bully. Worse are those who side with the bully, cheering him on and jeering his victims. In 2022 there was a stabbing at Wharton High School that allegedly sprang from a bullying problem. While I do not condone what happened, I can relate. So often I wanted to harm and humiliate my bullies. I didn’t do that, but the feelings were there.

Today there is better understanding of the impacts of bullying. Many schools across the nation have anti-bullying programs and policies. The Houston Texans mascot TORO has a very impactful anti-bulling program for schools that I recommend.

The impact that bullying had on me ultimately helped shape my character. Rather than cave in to the hate and anger, I turned to my Christian faith and rose above the evil within. I was determined to become a man of integrity. Truth, honesty, loyalty, caring, decency, and a host of other positive character traits are what I strive for and what I feel defines me as a man and a leader.

I am a firm believer in servant leadership. The best leaders are not bosses; they’re doers. They’re the ones who equip those under their guidance to perform better and at a higher standard. They come along side and share the load. They rise by lifting others up. A true leader will listen with the intent to understand before speaking and trying to be understood. They put the needs of others first. They are consensus builders.

Bullies are not true leaders. Bullies are self-serving and power hungry. They create an atmosphere of fear. They rise by putting others down. They act tough and wield fear and intimidation like a surgeon’s scapple or a sledge hammer. They demand respect but never give it in return.

As leaders they have a win-at-all-cost attitude. They don’t seek win-win solutions, only win-lose. They will lie, cheat, and steal and think nothing of it. They use people as a means to get what they want and then discard them when they no longer seem useful. Bullies gloss over their misdeeds with charm and charisma. They get people to overlook their shortcomings with misdirection, manipulation, and peer pressure.

People will admire bullies for their bold strength while ignoring the suffering of those they step on in the process. They will emulate the hate and teach their young to do likewise. I know this to be true because I experienced it in school and I see it today on social media. Bulling isn’t limited to school playgrounds. It pervades all aspects of society, especially at the top.

There is a monstrous bully stalking our country and his name is Donald Trump. He checks all the bully boxes and then some. Yet people throw themselves at his feet and parade him though as if he were some divine savior or magnanimous ruler.

If you don’t believe me, just step back and watch his actions and listen to his words. He uses derogatory terms and name-calling when he speaks about anyone or anything he opposes. During his presidency he was caught making false or misleading claims 30,573 times according to the Washington Post. The Toronto Star calculated that he made an average 6.1 false claims per day between 2017 and 2019.

Even now as he campaigns for the Republican nomination Trump is under four criminal indictments and faces 91 felony charges, mostly stemming from his false claims that there was widespread voter fraud in the 2020 election and that the election was stolen from him. He is also one of three presidents to have been impeached (and not once, but twice!).

And whether he was the ringleader or cheerleader, he clearly backed the Jan. 6, 2021, insurrection and invasion of the U.S. Capitol. Of that there is no doubt.

During his presidency there was a revolving door of personnel on his cabinet and other positions that report to him. He either fired those who angered him or else those with an ounce of integrity quit. He has so intimidated the Republican Party that it doesn’t even have a platform to run on. The party is waiting on Trump to dictate it.

Trump has a long history of bullying. You really don’t need to look further than his trail of ex-wives, former girlfriends, and mistresses to see how he treats women. You can go back and look at his trail of bankruptcies to see how he behaves in business. As a reality TV host, his catchphrase was “You’re fired!” More recently, a judge has had to issue a gag order against him to keep him from slandering his prosecutors and other court personnel.

Set aside his politics for the moment. Judge him by his character. Character is essential to good leadership. We need a president who is a true statesman. We need someone who will help mend the deep division in this country and unite us as a people. I don’t see that in Trump (or Joe Biden for that matter).

We need to bring bullying to an end everywhere from the White House to the schoolyard. There is just no place for that kind of behavior in a civilized society. I urge you not to condone it wherever you see it.

Keep focused on the important things in life

Have you ever stopped to think about what’s really important in life?

Material things may bring us momentary pleasure but they can’t replace our life experiences.

There isn’t a thing in this world that can’t be taken from you in an instant. A house, car, relationships, special treasures – all those things can be destroyed in a heartbeat. Even the next hour of your life is not promised. For the sake of argument, I want to move forward though as if we will all live long, full lives.

I first began thinking of these things in my teenage years as I was learning about my Christian faith. It was pretty heady stuff for a young person to contemplate and it’s still hard to wrap my head around now in my 50s. The Bible makes it clear that nothing we have in this life carries over to the next. The only true thing of value is our relationship with Jesus Christ. I say that because I believe it. I’m not here to proselytize (OK, maybe I am just a little), but I believe that a relationship with Jesus is the only way to Heaven and eternal life.

I also know that it is in my nature to be a greedy, little packrat. I like getting things and I generally hold onto them. I call it collecting. Others, including my wife, call it junk. I have saved really odd stuff, such as nearly every press pass I’ve been given and all the flip cards (cards with brief information about players) from every professional football game I have covered. I’ve saved a bunch of the newspapers that I’ve been published in, which takes up a lot of space. I have many boxes of photos and negatives from my early days in photography and more recent stacks of discs with digital pictures in storage.

The point is, I have a lot of stuff (or does it have me?). Most of it has no intrinsic value to anyone but me, and maybe some historian a couple hundreds of years in the future. It’s sentimental clutter and I should get rid of a lot of it. I won’t. It’s worth the sentimental value to me. Most of the things I’ve saved are reminders of great experiences I’ve had. The objects themselves have no real value but the memories are priceless.

And it’s the memories – the thrill and joy of the experience – that no one can ever take away from you. You can be stripped of everything you own but no one can take away from you the things you have done. The places you go and the things you see and do are yours forever as long as you remember them. It’s when we lose our memories that we lose the things we treasure the most. I have a loved one very close to me with Alzheimer’s disease. While the things he owns are important and have value, his most prized possession – his mind – is slowly vanishing.

It’s incredibly heartbreaking to watch. I can only imagine what it’s like to experience it. I pray every day for him and hold out hope that a cure for all forms of dementia is found sooner than later.

If you don’t have your memories, what do you have? There may come a day when all the trinkets of my life are all I have to serve a memory triggers or proof of things I’ve done. There is no way any of them will have monetary value until they are old enough to become historic artifacts. By that time, I won’t benefit from them and I highlight doubt my children and grandchildren will hold on to them long enough for that to happen.

So, for me, the stuff I have is valuable and it gives me pleasure. At the same time, I can’t help but wonder what all this stuff is robbing from me. The time I spend packing and storing it, and taking it out and reminiscing over it, is time I could be spending on something better. I choose not to think of it as a time thief, but rather as a time reminder.

All of this rambling brings me back to my original point: What is really important in life? The answer is this: Living life to its fullest. Enjoy time with your family and friends. Engage in experiences that make you happy and push your limits. Be in the moment. Don’t let life pass you by. This is the only life you get here on Earth.

That being said, don’t be self-absorbed or narcissistic. The best that you can be is what you give to others. As Zig Ziglar used to say, “You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

What you give comes back to you many times over. Put God first. Heavily invest your time and treasure in your spouse and children. Be generous to others. In doing so you create close relationships and great memories. You will enjoy the best that this life has to give.

If you noticed the list of my collections earlier, they are all keepsakes of my life experiences. I haven’t acquired them through wealth. Along the way I have shared my experiences and passions with others. It’s my way of giving back. People enjoy the pictures I take and the stories I write. I also give a lot through various volunteer efforts. I say these things not to be vainglorious, but to let you know that in giving I have received a rich, happy life. You can, too, as long as you stay focused on the important things in life. For me, that is my faith, family, and having fun.

Hello Dolly, my new favorite rock star

Many entertainers, especially musicians, are defined by the decade in which they peaked. Very few have the ability to reinvent themselves and remain relevant for multiple decades or a lifetime.

Dolly Parton is one of those rare souls who has managed to improve on perfection and broaden her horizons well beyond being a “girl singer” of the ’60s and ’70s. The 78-year-old singer-songwriter-actress-entrepreneur-philanthropist-etc. has elevated her game in many ways in the last 56 years.

Parton is best known as a country music singer and songwriter. Last year she was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (go figure). Since she didn’t consider herself a rock performer, she went out and made a rock album called “Rockstar.” The 30-track album contains a few original songs, but is mostly duets covering hits by other performers.

Among the artists teaming up with her on “Rockstar” are former Beatles Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr, Steve Perry (Journey), Elton John, Ann Wilson (Heart), Pat Benatar, Stevie Nicks, Kevin Cronin (REO Speedwagon), Peter Frampton, her goddaughter Miley Cyrus, and many others.

My daughter got me the CD for Christmas. I am impressed. Parton’s voice has changed a little but she can still belt out a tune. There is some playful banter with some of her duet partners and a few of the songs are excessively long (seven go past the five-minute mark and one tops 10 minutes), but overall, it’s a must-have for my collection.

I’ve been a fan of Dolly Parton as long as I can remember. I grew up listening to her music on the radio and seeing her on TV. I’ve enjoyed most of the movies she made (ever seen “Rhinestone”?). Back in the mid-1990s I read her autobiography “Dolly: My Life and Other Unfinished Business” and last year listened to the audio version of “Run, Rose, Run” which she co-authored with James Patterson.

Born into Appalachian poverty, Parton embarked on her career as a songwriter and then singer. Fiercely independent, she bucked the good ol’ boy system and made her own way in life. Wielding pluck and humor as well as a pen and guitar, Parton defined herself, making the music she wanted on her own terms.

Inspired by a town tramp, Parton famously fashioned her own figure, gaining notoriety and endless jokes for her big blonde hair and ample bosom.

“It takes a lot of money to look this cheap,” she’s often quoted as saying.

Parton expanded her talents into acting in the 1980s when she starred in “9 to 5,” “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas,” “Steel Magnolias” and others. Not content to be just an entertainer, she also moved into management and spread her entrepreneurial wings. She opened the Dollywood theme park and now has the Dollywood Company and several theme parks and other attractions.

Her philanthropic side is literally about literacy and books. She established the Dollywood Foundation and launched the Dolly Parton Imagination Library, which gives books to children from birth to kindergarten. So far, she has given away over 100 million books. She has also supported and contributed too many noble causes.

One of the things I love about Dolly Parton is how she manages to meet challenges head-on with grace and wit. Rather than being offended by jokes about her, she plays along and encourages the laughter. She once reported that she entered a Dolly Parton look-alike contest – and lost!

I once had a horrific nightmare about Dolly. I dreamt that she was my mother … and I was bottle-fed!

Sorry, bad joke. I return now to the serious side of my admiration for this incredible woman. She has received more honors and awards than just about any entertainer in history. In addition to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, she has been named to 17 other halls of fame. She’s been twice nominated for an Academy Award, has won several Grammy Awards, and been presented countless country music and other industry awards.

I find it disappointing that Dolly Parton has not been named Person of the Year by Time magazine. Instead, they gave that honor to the pop tart who’s dating the football player. It’s not that Dolly needs any more accolades. Her place in history is secure. She has decades of ever-increasing success and it’s doubtful that she’s peaked yet. So keep on rocking, Dolly!