How do you pronounce the name of that town?

In the short time I’ve been here I have heard a handful of pronunciations for the name of San Felipe. Everyone seems to agree on the “San” part, it’s the “Felipe” that causes confusion.

I first heard it pronounced like fill-eep-ay or fell-eep-ay. Since coming to Sealy I’ve heard it spoken mostly as Phillip (fill-ip) or fill-eep. I’ve also heard fill-eep-ee. The emphasis also alters from FILL-eep to fill-EEP.

When I looked it up on Dictionary.com, even the San part got changed. It’s suggested pronunciation is more like sahn fe-LEE-pay.

So which is it? Is there a right or wrong way to say it? If there are any local linguistic experts out there who know the correct way to say it, please inform me. In the meantime I will take comfort in being a print journalist and not having to speak it publicly.

Once we get this figured out we’ll work on Bleiblerville.

I come from the village of Niwot, Colo. Most people will get it right the first time when they say ny-wot. Still, you get those who say nee-wot , ny-wat or nee-wat. Niwot is named after an Arapaho chief. It means Left Hand. Known as a man of peace, Niwot was mortally wounded at the Sand Creek Massacre nearly 150 years ago.

People from Niwot call themselves Niwotians. There is a running debate about whether it is pronounced Ny-wo-shans (like Martians) or Ny-wot-ey-ans.

I went to Niwot Elementary and Niwot High schools. We always said that Niwot spelled backwards is “To Win.” That’s pretty much how we won in those days – backward. Actually, in my years at Niwot High, we were mostly winners. At least we were in football. Traditionally, however, Niwot has done its winning backward.

But getting back to Texas, there are plenty of places with multiple pronunciations. Take New Ulm for example. Many locals seem to pronounce it as one word with an extra vowel – newolum. It’s kind of like saying New Orleans as N’awlins.

I don’t know why I find these different pronunciations interesting. I guess it’s because I have hearing damage and it’s hard for me to know if I’m hearing unique words correctly. In this line of work it’s important to know if you’re talking to Mr. Johnson or Mr. Johnston or to Susan or Suzanne.

Now that I’m in Sealy I have to learn not only how to pronounce the name of the next town over, but also how to say a lot of these Czech names. When you’re hard of hearing it can be a huge challenge.

Usually I like to see new names spelled out to make sure I’m hearing it right. That’s the second round of the Czech Challenge. No offense, but some of these names look and sound weird. I could never figure it out without a lot of coaching.

Oddly enough, Southern can be a real challenge to a lot of people. You have no idea how many thousands of times I’ve been called Southerland. It’s not even pronounced the same as Southern. I have never once attached “land” to the end of my name, but it gets attached a lot. I used to think it just happened to me, but the other Southerns in my family all have the same problem.

It’s not a Czech name. It’s English. It means “the south end of a region” or something to that affect. When strangers aren’t calling me Southerland, they often try to give it a literal pronunciation, like “Sow-th-ern.” Go figure!

I guess I could simplify things by simply changing my last name to, say, San Felipe. Alas, San Felipe is already taken and, as we have learned, way too complicated to pronounce.

Valentine’s Day is over, now what?

Last Friday was Valentine’s Day. Chances are that someone reading this either got engaged, got married or knows someone who did.

Congratulations! Marriage is, in my mind, the second biggest decision a person can make in life. The biggest is whether or not you will accept Jesus as your lord and savior. It’s a decision every person makes whether they know it or not.

Marriage, however, is a much bigger commitment than deciding what job to have, where you will live or even to have children. Some may argue that having children is a bigger choice than marriage and in some ways they are right, but not entirely. You can undo a marriage but you can’t undo a child. Undoing a marriage, however, often leads to the undoing of a child.

Human beings are divinely designed to be permanently united as man and woman, husband and wife. Within that familial setting children enter this world. Their growth into adulthood requires a stable family life and the love, nurturing and discipline of both a mother and father. That is the way humans were made and that is the design for a healthy life.

The marriage vow is a permanent, binding contract and commitment. Divorce should never be an option except under certain extreme cases. When people break, you don’t throw them away. You help fix them. The same goes with a marriage. Every marriage is going to have rough spots. Those are the times where you step up and grow stronger together through self-sacrifice and commitment, not selfishness and abandonment.

People who work to make their relationship and their marriage better usually end up improving themselves and those around them, including their spouse and children. Countless studies and statistics have shown that children who grow up in a stable and committed family are far more successful in school and life than those from single-parent households.

That further supports my point that the choice of a spouse and the commitment to the marriage – the foundation of family and society – is more important than most any other decision a person will make in this lifetime. The less we value marriage, the less we value people and vice versa.

Most any marriage expert will tell you that the key to a good and lasting marriage is communication. As Stephen R. Covey says in his book “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” When you try to see things from the perspective of other people you often get a bigger and more complete picture than what you began with.

To offer some good advice about making marriage last, FamilyLife recently shared some comments made by people who have been married 50 or more years. This is some of what they said:

 “When you go to bed, always kiss good-night. We always kiss good-bye when we leave each other.”

“I’m the boss. I make sure that everything she wants gets done.”

“Treat each other with kindness, love and respect. Just work it out together. Don’t fuss. We stay mad an hour or two, but that’s it ... and it's fun to make up.”

“Look at things in different ways and concentrate on the ‘good’ in your relationship. I always say, ‘This too shall pass,’ and it usually does.”

“You do a lot of counting to 10 ... or 20, if necessary.”

 “When he was young, he was high-tempered, so I usually didn’t say much. But when you don’t say anything, you don’t have to take anything back.”

“When we said ‘I do,’ we didn’t say it was just for tomorrow. You’ve got to tie the knot where it can't be untied.”

Good advice!

Romance on the cheap for those dreading Valentine’s Day

Tomorrow is Feb. 14 – Valentine’s Day – a day of forced romance.

Stay with me here. By forced romance I do not mean that you are being forced into being romantic with anyone. For the record, I have been happily married for the last 14 years to the most beautiful, sensual, romantic, sexy and loving woman on the planet! There is nothing forced here.

What is forced is the expectation that I will have to spend the equivalent of the gross domestic product of a small, developing nation to buy cards, flowers, chocolates, dinner out, and all the other trappings of a Hallmark holiday just to say “I love you.”

This holiday dictates the necessity to be romantic. Frankly, I’d rather be more spontaneous and financially responsible with my wifely wooing than to have to answer the mandates of a gaudy holiday.

Now, before I dig my hole any deeper, I do want to acknowledge that this holiday is very important to a lot of people and with good reason. For some people, it’s about the only time that they get warm, special treatment from their spouse or significant other. Some look forward to Valentine’s Day like a kid on Christmas Eve. More power to you!

At this point there are probably more than a few women and a couple of men (you know who you are), who are starting to feel pity for my wife being hitched to such an inconsiderate and dispassionate jerk. I mean come on, who doesn’t like Valentine’s Day?

For starters, I can think of several lonely people, single or otherwise, who aren’t so crazy about it. It’s just another reminder of their personal misery. Then there are those of us who hate being made to feel like dogs because we can’t afford to shower our wives with all the holiday trappings so they can show off to their coworkers and the other Jones’s in their lives.

Sure, there is any number of low-cost ways you can be romantic and express your love without going into debt. I use a lot of those throughout the year and don’t want to shoot my wad on one day just because the calendar says so.

On the other hand, there are those of us who like being happily married (or hope to be some day), so we must kowtow to the social calendar gods and endure this forced march of February with gladness and joy. Still others are reading this and going “oh (blank), I forgot all about Valentine’s Day – help!”

So here they are, my cheap, easy ways of being romantic on Valentine’s Day or any other:

1. Declare your love, very publicly. (Sandy, please re-read the second paragraph of this column.)

2. Write your love story. Print and frame it.

3. Give your spouse a back rub and/or full-body massage.

4. Take a walk around a lake, along a moonlit beach or other romantic place.

5. Snuggle in front of a fire with a glass of wine.

6. Spontaneously spend a day together away from home.

7. Have a candlelight dinner.

8. Leave little love notes everywhere.

9. Bathe together.

10. Give a small token to your wife to wear to remind her all day that you love her.

Bonus: This is probably the most important part – Do it all with a spirit of giving, expecting nothing in return.

I wasn’t born in Texas, but I got here as quick as I could – NOT!

I wasn’t born in Texas, but I got here as quick as I could – NOT!

I came to Texas kicking and screaming. I loathed Texas and all things Texan. So why, for the love of God, am I still here after eight years?

Let me get back to you on that.

I really don’t think the average Texan knows or cares just how reviled Texans are by much of the rest of the country. Growing up in Colorado I learned to despise Texans. They would come in and hog our roads, crowd our ski slopes and make royal jerks of themselves by boasting about how much bigger and better everything is in Texas.

Let me tell you, it really gets under your skin. If things are so much better in Texas, then why do you have to travel abroad and make the rest of us so miserable? Just stay home.

But I’m not in Colorado anymore. I’m in Texas – enemy (or enema) territory. I came here as an economic refugee. I did three years time in Amarillo. My sentence got commuted to Houston and I’ve been here for the past five years. I have to confess that it has grown on me. I actually like it here. As much as I miss Colorado and would go back in a heartbeat, I really don’t have the desire to leave Texas.

Texas and Texans have been really good to me. My life for the past 10 years has been a real struggle on several levels. I’ve found a lot of compassion, encouragement, grace and support from people here. I also love being close to the coast and in an area with an abundance of wildlife and outdoor activity. Oh, and the history! This area is rich with really fascinating history. Colorado’s history isn’t nearly as old or interesting.

As a first-generation Coloradan, I have no ties to the history there. Being married to a Texan, my wife and sons have deep roots in Texas history. Remember Goliad? A relative is buried there – massacred by the Mexicans 178 years ago. That alone practically makes us Texas royalty, or so I’m told.

In addition to the wonderful people and the abundance of outdoor life and history, this area has so many interesting things to see and do within a few hours drive. Houston has most of the major sports teams. There are museums, aquariums, parks, historic sites and other interesting places to see. As a space junkie, I love visiting NASA at Space Center Houston. There is so much to see and do there and it’s historic and authentic.

I also enjoy a good rodeo and Houston has one of the best. The area has an abundance of fairs and festivals. My family can’t seem to get enough of the various reenactment events. There are plenty to be had here on the Texas independence Trail.

Then there is the opportunity to just be an oddity. We have Compicpalooza, Space City Con and Weird West Fest here. Those events are always great opportunities to dress up in costumes and rub elbows with celebrities. You should try it sometime. It’s also fun to dress up in period costume and attend the Texas Renaissance Festival each fall. We do it joust for the fun of it!

Another thing I like about living here is being able to wear my cowboy hat without catching a lot of grief. While cowboy hats aren’t uncommon in Colorado, someone will invariably call you Tex or make some smart-alecky remark if you wear one. Here, no one thinks twice about it. That’s probably because the locals are either wearing one themselves or have one they wear on occasion. It’s just part of the culture.

I guess I’ve learned to not be so judgmental about Texans once I’ve walked a mile in their moccasins. That doesn’t mean that Texas has taken the Coloradan out of me. It won’t. It simply means that I’ve learned to love and respect people for who they are and where they are at. Now, if Texans could learn to do the same, things might be a lot more pleasant for those living in the other 49 states.