Romance on the cheap for those dreading Valentine’s Day

Tomorrow is Feb. 14 – Valentine’s Day – a day of forced romance.

Stay with me here. By forced romance I do not mean that you are being forced into being romantic with anyone. For the record, I have been happily married for the last 14 years to the most beautiful, sensual, romantic, sexy and loving woman on the planet! There is nothing forced here.

What is forced is the expectation that I will have to spend the equivalent of the gross domestic product of a small, developing nation to buy cards, flowers, chocolates, dinner out, and all the other trappings of a Hallmark holiday just to say “I love you.”

This holiday dictates the necessity to be romantic. Frankly, I’d rather be more spontaneous and financially responsible with my wifely wooing than to have to answer the mandates of a gaudy holiday.

Now, before I dig my hole any deeper, I do want to acknowledge that this holiday is very important to a lot of people and with good reason. For some people, it’s about the only time that they get warm, special treatment from their spouse or significant other. Some look forward to Valentine’s Day like a kid on Christmas Eve. More power to you!

At this point there are probably more than a few women and a couple of men (you know who you are), who are starting to feel pity for my wife being hitched to such an inconsiderate and dispassionate jerk. I mean come on, who doesn’t like Valentine’s Day?

For starters, I can think of several lonely people, single or otherwise, who aren’t so crazy about it. It’s just another reminder of their personal misery. Then there are those of us who hate being made to feel like dogs because we can’t afford to shower our wives with all the holiday trappings so they can show off to their coworkers and the other Jones’s in their lives.

Sure, there is any number of low-cost ways you can be romantic and express your love without going into debt. I use a lot of those throughout the year and don’t want to shoot my wad on one day just because the calendar says so.

On the other hand, there are those of us who like being happily married (or hope to be some day), so we must kowtow to the social calendar gods and endure this forced march of February with gladness and joy. Still others are reading this and going “oh (blank), I forgot all about Valentine’s Day – help!”

So here they are, my cheap, easy ways of being romantic on Valentine’s Day or any other:

1. Declare your love, very publicly. (Sandy, please re-read the second paragraph of this column.)

2. Write your love story. Print and frame it.

3. Give your spouse a back rub and/or full-body massage.

4. Take a walk around a lake, along a moonlit beach or other romantic place.

5. Snuggle in front of a fire with a glass of wine.

6. Spontaneously spend a day together away from home.

7. Have a candlelight dinner.

8. Leave little love notes everywhere.

9. Bathe together.

10. Give a small token to your wife to wear to remind her all day that you love her.

Bonus: This is probably the most important part – Do it all with a spirit of giving, expecting nothing in return.