I've officially turned old

 There is a time in every guy’s life where he struggles to know when he has transitioned from boy into manhood.

There is no formal rite of passage. No one hands you a man card and welcomes you to the brotherhood. There are arbitrary dates assigning adulthood, but it’s not the same as becoming a man. That magic moment is different for each person.

In America, you become a provisional adult at 18 and a full adult at 21. But what defines becoming a man? Does it happen at a certain age? Is it when you leave home, get married, lose your virginity, grow facial hair, start your first real job, graduate from high school or college – when?

After a while you realize that you have become a man. (I assume women have similar struggles, but, as a guy, I can’t relate to that.) Part of that struggle is that even though you have physically become a grown man, mentally and emotionally you still have the same insecurities as a boy and still want affirmation in your decisions and permission to act. I think true, authentic manhood happens after you overcome those insecurities and act on your own.

For me, I look at 1987 as the year I truly became a man. I turned 21 the year before, but in the spring and summer of ’87 I graduated from college, moved away from home, got married (and as a result lost my virginity), and started my first real full-time job. That was a lot of milestones that all hit within a three-month period, and it was overwhelming.

Fast-forward to last Wednesday, and I embraced a new struggle of manhood. Aug. 6 was my 60th birthday. I’m now coming to terms with the idea of becoming old or elderly. Unlike the longing to become a man, guys my age try to stave off senior citizenship. No one wants to be old, but it sure beats the alternative.

Sandy and I took the day off to celebrate my birthday in New Braunfels at Schlitterbahn. I certainly didn’t feel old as we rode the slides and rides at the gigantic waterpark. I felt invigorated and youthful. As we traipsed merrily around the grounds I couldn’t help but notice all the pretty girls in their tiny swimsuits. That’s what made me feel old. I had to accept the fact that I was old enough to be their father, or in some cases their grandfather.

It only took one look at (or from) my wife to bring me back to my senses. She is eight years younger than I am, so no matter how old I get, I always have the advantage of having a pretty, young trophy wife by my side.

My kids, however, have been relentless with the old man jokes throughout my 50s. Luke, my middle son, texted me Wednesday night to wish me a happy birthday. He called me Gramps. Gramps!? “Yeah, you’re old now,” he said. I have four children, and they range in age from old maid to 22. And yes, I reserve the right to call my daughter an old maid with her 33rd birthday quickly approaching and her showing no interest in getting married and starting a family.

With the clock ticking on my sixth decade, I have been contemplating what it means to be old, or if I should consider myself old. I know most people aren’t considered elderly or a senior citizen until they turn 65 or 70. At the same time, the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) grants you membership at 50.

At the time I was contemplating manhood, I felt 50 was old – really old. It wasn’t so bad when I turned 50. It was when I turned 40 that I had a midlife crisis. I felt I was reaching old age and hadn’t accomplished anything. At 60, I still haven’t accomplished anything, but I sure have done a lot. Given the longevity in my family tree (my dad is going strong at 80 and my mom’s mother lived to 96) I know I have plenty of time ahead of me barring the unforeseen.

Still, that’s no excuse to waste time. At my age your dreams come into sharper focus and your goals become more immediate. Time is on no one’s side, especially the older you become. There comes an urgency to see, do, have and experience things in life while you still can. Just because you may live a long time it doesn’t mean that your body or your mind will cooperate with you to the end. I wish I had understood these things when I was younger.

They say you’re only as old as you feel and that age is just a number. Let me tell you, the bigger those numbers become the heavier they get. Still, I’m not going to let my age weigh me down. I have books to write, a farm to run and a job to do. As long as I’m enjoying this life that God has given me, I will press on like there’s no tomorrow. And as I contemplate the remainder of my manhood, I realize that I still have time to decide what I want to be when I grow up.