Male bonding on church men's retreat

 When I attended the A&M Church of Christ’s annual men’s retreat to New Mexico last year, I was new to the church and didn’t know a single person on the trip other than my son.

By the time we returned at the end of the week, I had more than a dozen new friends and several memorable experiences under my belt. I couldn’t wait to go again.

We just got back two weeks ago from our trip to Angel Fire, New Mexico, this time with about 24 guys, only about half of whom I knew. I thoroughly enjoyed forging new friendships and deepening older ones through our many adventures.

The purpose of the trip is to create opportunities for male bonding, fellowship, and spiritual growth. In our defense, our wives did knowingly let us go unsupervised into the wilderness 775 miles from home. Man, that was fun!

As we prepared, we talked about all the things we could do on the trip. There would be plenty of opportunities to go hiking, mountain climbing, whitewater rafting, fishing, golfing, shopping, touring, birding, and taking a train ride. Most of the guys talked about extending the trip another two days to tour Carlsbad Caverns and hike up Guadalupe Peak, the tallest mountain in Texas.

We sleepily but enthusiastically gathered at oh dark thirty on a Saturday morning and began the 14-hour trek to Angel Fire. We made our traditional lunch stop at JT’s Drive-In in Childress for burgers, fries and drinks. The next morning, we attended services at Moreno Valley Church of Christ in Eagle Nest, New Mexico, where our group nearly doubled the attendance. There, the pastor announced that one of the members needed help Monday morning pouring concrete in his garage.

Most of our group was committed to going whitewater rafting on the Rio Grande on Monday, but a handful of us volunteered to help with the project. At the end of the day everyone reconvened at our cabin. We were all tired but we felt good. On Tuesday we split up in many different directions. Several climbed, or attempted to climb, Wheeler Peak, the tallest mountain in New Mexico.  

I went with a small group that was supposed to go birding. Mark, our driver, is a biology professor at Blinn College and wanted to make a stop at the home of Aldo Leopold, the noted author and conservationist. It was a Mecca of sorts for Mark and an educational experience for the rest of us. We never did go birding after that detour. On our way back to the cabin we stopped for lunch at Taos Pizza Out Back, which serves very large portions of really good pizza.

The next morning a group of us went on a guided lake fishing expedition. We were divided into two boats. I caught the first two trout on the boat I was on but was quickly lapped by the other three guys. I ended up catching three and our boat hauled in 16 of the 20 fish our group caught. Dinner that night was delicious!

Back ashore while the guide cleaned our fish, our attention was turned to the black bear napping up a tree across the street. It must be a guy thing to want to stare danger in the face – or at least watch it slumber about 50 yards away. Later that afternoon Monty and I visited the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Red River. They have a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial wall and a small museum with some interesting artifacts.

Thursday was my favorite day of the trip. Mark, Monty and I rode the Cumbres and Toltec Scenic Railroad from Antonito, Colorado, to Chama, New Mexico. Kevin and his son Matthew, who have ridden the train several times, chased the train in the car and met us for lunch. The narrow-gauge steam engine train averaged about 10 mph and went through some amazing countryside that offered spectacular mountain views.

On Friday, I joined Monty and John on a trip to Cimarron, where we toured museums at Philmont Scout Ranch. It was my first visit to the famed Boy Scout camp despite being an Eagle Scout and having a long Scouting career. It made us very nostalgic for our Scouting days although the three of us lamented what the Boy Scouts have become in recent years.

That evening was spent packing for the trip home. We were all so exhausted that everyone bailed on the idea of going to Carlsbad Caverns and Guadalupe Peak. Our masculinity succumbed to the realities of age.

Every evening on the retreat we gathered around a campfire and had a time of devotion. We usually discussed some very weighty and sensitive topics. It’s a time of authenticity and understanding where real bonding takes place.

Saturday brought the 14-hour return trip. I made Mark stop in Amarillo, where I lived for three years long ago, and introduced him and Silas to the Donut Stop. While they may disagree, I believe Donut Stop makes the best donuts in the world, especially the cherry glazed donuts!

So that was our adventure this year – or at least the story we’re telling our wives. I don’t know what next year’s retreat will bring but I’m anxiously anticipating it.