'Invasive species' threatens all things Texan

As we sit back on this Thanksgiving Day and reflect on our blessings, I wish to take a few moments of your time to issue a warning. You may or may not have heard about the mass hoard that has crossed the border into Texas with the intent to manipulate and change the people, politics and character of this great state. This eastward migration across our western border has been creeping up on us slowly and with great stealth and now these alien invaders are infiltrating our neighborhoods, our businesses, our schools, our governments and even our places of worship. Speaking as a refugee whose homeland has been conquered by these undesirables, I’m here to tell you that nothing native is sacred to them. They come here under the pretence of seeking a better life, but then they set about making their new home the same thing the left – a wretched wreck of chaos, amorality, soaring debt, inflation, pollution, and political correctness run amuck. As they arrive they will occupy homes and not give a hoot what it does to the real estate market. I know, I’ve been victimized by this before. It’s part of the reason I moved to Texas. These ornery varmints are a big part of the reason my home state of Colorado has turned from a deep red to a dark blue stain on the political map in just a few short years. Their homeland has been hemorrhaging immigrants by the tens of thousands for years and they just keep coming. They’re a non-native invasive species that threatens overtake the natives and bend their will to their way of thinking. Oh, sure, they’ll smile and act pleasant. Some may legitimately be ignorant of their offense, but they will be offensive just the same. It’s nothing for them to say how nice and beautiful it is here and how much they like more than the place they left. Almost in the same breath they will tell you how much better things were back home. Companies and agencies that have been exporting workers have reportedly held classes to teach their people how to blend in. They tell them to quickly get new license plates and driver’s licenses and to remove identifying features from their vehicles such as dealer stickers and bumper stickers of their favorite pro teams. They are told to avoid as much as possible disclosing where they are from as to not incite outrage and rejection. Most of the time they ignore this advice, acting though as if the natives should want to root for their teams and be more like them. They will openly display disdain for local teams. Unfortunately there is very little – if anything – our government can or will do to stop this invasion. In fact, some even encourage it so they can chart the growth of their communities and thus receive more tax dollars from Washington and more representation in Congress. Developers and real estate agents are more than happy for their migration because it means more business for them. Local school districts, however, are often stuck with the burden of overcrowded classrooms and a clash of cultures within their halls. It ain’t pretty. According to the most recent Census figures, more than 363,000 of these people moved to Texas over the past five years. This made the state grow twice as fast as the rest of the nation since 2000. That is just the number that has moved into Texas. That figure doesn’t count other states! Despite mass emigration, their homeland continues to increase in population. Is there no end to this madness? Before going any further I must confess one thing. My father, the one whose blood runs through my veins, is an immigrant from this foreign land. Granted he escaped to Colorado in the 1960s, long before the exodus, but he cannot hide the fact that he is – GASP! – a native Californian. There I said it. Even though I was born and raised in Colorado, I am descended from a Californian. And my mother – God bless her – came from Nebraska. Fortunately I have been able to rise above my parental heritage and wisely married a Texan. (I pause for a moment to let those who know me best to catch their breath. Yes, I grew up anti-Texan, but living here has helped me overcome most of that prejudice.) Colorado was overrun by Californians in the 1980s and ’90s. They drove housing prices through the roof, crowded the streets and schools and became staunch Democrats. Maybe someday they will leave and I can safely return with my family. Until that time, I am happy to make Texas my home … at least until Californians take over. Trust me, they will if we let them. You have been fairly warned. I now return you to your Thanksgiving holiday. Turkey anyone?