Now for some totally random thoughts
Hello, here we are once again. I’m writing to you from the business end of a blank page.
That tends to happen from time to time in the life of a newspaper columnist, especially as deadline draws near. There comes that time when I have to put a string of complete sentences together in an order that both makes sense and has some important and/or entertaining value to it.
This is where I part lines with the rules and reality. I have a lot of topics in mind to write about, but nothing that really stands out as a good column idea. So, as my teenage son would say, here is a collection of some “totally random” thoughts.
How ’bout them Texans!
OK, so two wins does not a season make. But hey, you gotta love seeing the Texans start the season at 2-0. To sweeten the pot, they’ve done it at the expense of two pretty good teams, the Colts and the Redskins. I just hope they can keep the momentum going for the next few games.
I would love to see the Texans crush the 0-2 Cowboys (emphasis on the 0-2), followed by the Raiders and the Giants. As a die hard Broncos fan, I have a strong dislike for the Raiders and any team that has beaten the Broncos in the Super Bowl, which includes the Redskins, Cowboys and Giants. A 5-0 start for the Texans would make me a very happy man – and a very enthused Texans fan.
Speaking of football …
I went to Royal High last week for the big game between the Falcons and the Hempstead Bobcats. I was pleased to see so much fan support on both sides of the field. Though I could only stay through the start of the second half, I was surprised to see the 32-14 final score in favor of the home team. I was anticipating either a defensive struggle or a shootout, since both teams have stingy defenses and high-powered offenses.
Royal’s running back Brandon Williams appears to be the real deal. He’s got a great combination of speed and power. You don’t see too many players of his caliber at this level.
Teen transformation
Just a couple weeks ago, my son, Wesley, had really long, stringy hair and a mouth full of braces. He looked about as teen-geek as they come. This year he entered B.F. Terry High School as a freshman and joined the Junior ROTC. Off came the hair. And last week, after about four years, off came the braces. My how quickly my young man has grown up! If you looked at before and after pictures side-by-side, you could hardly tell they were the same person.
The transformation is also at work on the inside. Between JROTC and the Boy Scouts, he is really improving his character. The training and discipline are doing him a world of good. I am so proud of him!
Why?
Have you ever noticed in those corny credit card commercials that the big, tough Viking characters all speak with a decidedly British accent? What’s up with that? And speaking of Vikings, the hit movie last spring, “How to Train Your Dragon,” had Vikings with a Scottish brogue. Doesn’t anyone remember that Vikings were Scandinavian? And why do Scotts and the Irish get brogues while the rest of us are stuck with accents?
How do they do that?
You can’t live in cattle country for very long before you learn about modern facts of life. When I was a kid back in Colorado, we had a cow. One day my dad had a vet come over and – going up to his elbow in a place where the sun don’t shine – artificially inseminate the cow. If you don’t know what artificial insemination is, please don’t ask me to explain. That’s why God made Google.
After a number of years I learned to understand and accept this unnatural practice as a way of doing business in the world of modern cowboys. What I failed to consider then, and am a bit squeamish about finding out now, is one of those profound mysteries of life. How do they get the semen from the bull? Worse yet, whose job is it to extract it?
Somehow I don’t think the process involves a secluded stall, a glass of wine and a copy of Cowboy Magazine. That, after all, would be udder-ly ridiculous.
That tends to happen from time to time in the life of a newspaper columnist, especially as deadline draws near. There comes that time when I have to put a string of complete sentences together in an order that both makes sense and has some important and/or entertaining value to it.
This is where I part lines with the rules and reality. I have a lot of topics in mind to write about, but nothing that really stands out as a good column idea. So, as my teenage son would say, here is a collection of some “totally random” thoughts.
How ’bout them Texans!
OK, so two wins does not a season make. But hey, you gotta love seeing the Texans start the season at 2-0. To sweeten the pot, they’ve done it at the expense of two pretty good teams, the Colts and the Redskins. I just hope they can keep the momentum going for the next few games.
I would love to see the Texans crush the 0-2 Cowboys (emphasis on the 0-2), followed by the Raiders and the Giants. As a die hard Broncos fan, I have a strong dislike for the Raiders and any team that has beaten the Broncos in the Super Bowl, which includes the Redskins, Cowboys and Giants. A 5-0 start for the Texans would make me a very happy man – and a very enthused Texans fan.
Speaking of football …
I went to Royal High last week for the big game between the Falcons and the Hempstead Bobcats. I was pleased to see so much fan support on both sides of the field. Though I could only stay through the start of the second half, I was surprised to see the 32-14 final score in favor of the home team. I was anticipating either a defensive struggle or a shootout, since both teams have stingy defenses and high-powered offenses.
Royal’s running back Brandon Williams appears to be the real deal. He’s got a great combination of speed and power. You don’t see too many players of his caliber at this level.
Teen transformation
Just a couple weeks ago, my son, Wesley, had really long, stringy hair and a mouth full of braces. He looked about as teen-geek as they come. This year he entered B.F. Terry High School as a freshman and joined the Junior ROTC. Off came the hair. And last week, after about four years, off came the braces. My how quickly my young man has grown up! If you looked at before and after pictures side-by-side, you could hardly tell they were the same person.
The transformation is also at work on the inside. Between JROTC and the Boy Scouts, he is really improving his character. The training and discipline are doing him a world of good. I am so proud of him!
Why?
Have you ever noticed in those corny credit card commercials that the big, tough Viking characters all speak with a decidedly British accent? What’s up with that? And speaking of Vikings, the hit movie last spring, “How to Train Your Dragon,” had Vikings with a Scottish brogue. Doesn’t anyone remember that Vikings were Scandinavian? And why do Scotts and the Irish get brogues while the rest of us are stuck with accents?
How do they do that?
You can’t live in cattle country for very long before you learn about modern facts of life. When I was a kid back in Colorado, we had a cow. One day my dad had a vet come over and – going up to his elbow in a place where the sun don’t shine – artificially inseminate the cow. If you don’t know what artificial insemination is, please don’t ask me to explain. That’s why God made Google.
After a number of years I learned to understand and accept this unnatural practice as a way of doing business in the world of modern cowboys. What I failed to consider then, and am a bit squeamish about finding out now, is one of those profound mysteries of life. How do they get the semen from the bull? Worse yet, whose job is it to extract it?
Somehow I don’t think the process involves a secluded stall, a glass of wine and a copy of Cowboy Magazine. That, after all, would be udder-ly ridiculous.
posted by Joe Southern | 10:48 AM
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