Take the Love Dare and 'Fireproof' your marriage
It’s amazing how stagnant life can become.
Get up, eat breakfast, rush to work, return home, eat dinner, get kids to bed, dabble on the computer or watch some TV, go to bed. It’s the same thing day in and day out. Weekends are a mad dash to do everything that didn’t get done during the week.
The next thing you know, it’s though as if you and your spouse are existing together, no longer living the life you dreamed of at the alter. Most of your interaction has to do with shuttling children, cooking meals or doing other household chores. The monotony of it can wear down a person – and a marriage.
Both Sandy and I had previous marriages that ended in divorce. When we got married we were determined that our marriage was going to defy the odds. Divorce was not – and is not – an option. Both of us would rather have had a spouse die than to have lived through the rejection and anguish of divorce. A bad marriage is better than a “good” divorce any day.
But no one need stay in a bad marriage. Instead of ending it, fix it! I’m not saying that Sandy and I have a bad marriage – we don’t – but we’ve been through some bad things that have definitely put a strain on us. Last year we were energized and encouraged by the movie “Fireproof.”
If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend it. It’s out on DVD. It is the story of a firefighter whose marriage is falling apart. His father challenges him to take the 40-day Love Dare to see if there is any hope of restoring his marriage. The outcome of the movie is predictable, but the journey is worth the ride. It really sums up what’s truly important in life.
We began doing the Love Dare last fall, but stopped when we moved down here and misplaced the book. We found it again just in time to start a Love Dare class through our church, First Colony Church of Christ. So, we’re backing up and starting over.
The Love Dare is nothing to be taken lightly or dabbled with. It starts off easy, but soon gets you to face things in yourself that you don’t want to admit. Before long you are studying and learning about your spouse all over again. It doesn’t take you long to realize all the things you’ve taken for granted or neglected.
Doing the Love Dare has been like falling in love again with my wife. It’s been a long overdue cleansing in our relationship. Your marriage does not have to be struggling or in trouble for you to benefit from this. Even strong, healthy marriages can use a little polish here and there.
Sometimes it takes a little outside force to remind us or nudge us to do the simple little things for our spouses that we would have fallen all over ourselves to do when we were newlyweds.
When I was dating Sandy, I would have slain dragons, climbed mountains and swam oceans for her. Now that we’re married, is it too much for me to do the dishes or bathe the kids? It’s those little things in life that begin to add up. They eventually clog relationships and wedge marriages into mediocrity.
Relearning the Golden Rule and applying it can make a huge difference in marriages. The better I treat my wife, the better she treats me. The more I expect of her, the more she expects from me. When those expectations aren’t met, we become disgruntled and unhappy. That is so unnecessary if we just remember to treat one another like we want to be treated.
Healthy marriages are the cornerstone of civilization. The family unit is the core on which communities are built. When the core is rotten, the whole community suffers. If you have been divorced or know someone who has, you’ve no doubt seen or felt the impact on the children, relationships with friends, the drag at work, the break-up of social groups or cliques and so on.
The dynamics of a group – such as a Scout group, Sunday school class, sports team, etc. – change when one of the members is hurt or leaves because of the break-up of a marriage. It negatively affects everyone.
That’s why I feel it is so important for every couple to “Fireproof” their marriage. To borrow a phrase from the movie, fireproofing doesn’t mean the flames won’t come, it just means your ready when they do. The Love Dare is an excellent way to challenge yourself to meet the needs of the one you love the most.
That is why I would encourage you to see the movie, read the book and take the dare. It’s a small price to pay for the investment you’ve made for a lifetime.
Get up, eat breakfast, rush to work, return home, eat dinner, get kids to bed, dabble on the computer or watch some TV, go to bed. It’s the same thing day in and day out. Weekends are a mad dash to do everything that didn’t get done during the week.
The next thing you know, it’s though as if you and your spouse are existing together, no longer living the life you dreamed of at the alter. Most of your interaction has to do with shuttling children, cooking meals or doing other household chores. The monotony of it can wear down a person – and a marriage.
Both Sandy and I had previous marriages that ended in divorce. When we got married we were determined that our marriage was going to defy the odds. Divorce was not – and is not – an option. Both of us would rather have had a spouse die than to have lived through the rejection and anguish of divorce. A bad marriage is better than a “good” divorce any day.
But no one need stay in a bad marriage. Instead of ending it, fix it! I’m not saying that Sandy and I have a bad marriage – we don’t – but we’ve been through some bad things that have definitely put a strain on us. Last year we were energized and encouraged by the movie “Fireproof.”
If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend it. It’s out on DVD. It is the story of a firefighter whose marriage is falling apart. His father challenges him to take the 40-day Love Dare to see if there is any hope of restoring his marriage. The outcome of the movie is predictable, but the journey is worth the ride. It really sums up what’s truly important in life.
We began doing the Love Dare last fall, but stopped when we moved down here and misplaced the book. We found it again just in time to start a Love Dare class through our church, First Colony Church of Christ. So, we’re backing up and starting over.
The Love Dare is nothing to be taken lightly or dabbled with. It starts off easy, but soon gets you to face things in yourself that you don’t want to admit. Before long you are studying and learning about your spouse all over again. It doesn’t take you long to realize all the things you’ve taken for granted or neglected.
Doing the Love Dare has been like falling in love again with my wife. It’s been a long overdue cleansing in our relationship. Your marriage does not have to be struggling or in trouble for you to benefit from this. Even strong, healthy marriages can use a little polish here and there.
Sometimes it takes a little outside force to remind us or nudge us to do the simple little things for our spouses that we would have fallen all over ourselves to do when we were newlyweds.
When I was dating Sandy, I would have slain dragons, climbed mountains and swam oceans for her. Now that we’re married, is it too much for me to do the dishes or bathe the kids? It’s those little things in life that begin to add up. They eventually clog relationships and wedge marriages into mediocrity.
Relearning the Golden Rule and applying it can make a huge difference in marriages. The better I treat my wife, the better she treats me. The more I expect of her, the more she expects from me. When those expectations aren’t met, we become disgruntled and unhappy. That is so unnecessary if we just remember to treat one another like we want to be treated.
Healthy marriages are the cornerstone of civilization. The family unit is the core on which communities are built. When the core is rotten, the whole community suffers. If you have been divorced or know someone who has, you’ve no doubt seen or felt the impact on the children, relationships with friends, the drag at work, the break-up of social groups or cliques and so on.
The dynamics of a group – such as a Scout group, Sunday school class, sports team, etc. – change when one of the members is hurt or leaves because of the break-up of a marriage. It negatively affects everyone.
That’s why I feel it is so important for every couple to “Fireproof” their marriage. To borrow a phrase from the movie, fireproofing doesn’t mean the flames won’t come, it just means your ready when they do. The Love Dare is an excellent way to challenge yourself to meet the needs of the one you love the most.
That is why I would encourage you to see the movie, read the book and take the dare. It’s a small price to pay for the investment you’ve made for a lifetime.
posted by Joe Southern | 12:31 PM
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