'Fireproof' ignites spark for marriages

I don’t normally like movies with a social agenda. I go to the movies to be entertained.
Last weekend I took my wife on a date to see “Fireproof.” I went in knowing it was going to preach to me. I came out thoroughly convicted by its message and entertained by the delivery.
I’ll spare you the movie review. Suffice to say, I strongly encourage anyone to see this movie who:
• is married,
• is thinking of getting married,
• is divorced or divorcing,
• is single and looking,
• is single and loving it,
• has a pulse.
Before you enter the theater, be sure to bring some tissues. That includes us guys. You will cry -- that is unless you don’t have a pulse, in which case I don’t recommend you see the movie.
“Fireproof” is about a fire captain, played by Kirk Cameron, whose marriage is a train wreck. The movie is produced by Sherwood Baptist Church of Albany, Ga., the same people who did “Facing the Giants.”
“Fireproof” is merely the spark to get people to focus on their marriage.
Some spark! It’s more like a blowtorch.
Caleb Holt, the character played by Cameron, could have been me. His life mirrored mine in so many ways, other than the fact that he’s a fireman (I’m a journalist), he’s financially stable (I’m a journalist) and he has rugged good looks (I’m a journalist).
In the movie, Caleb is challenged by his father to take the 40-day Love Dare in an effort to save his marriage. (Naturally, you can buy “The Love Dare” book most anywhere Christian books are sold.) Each day is a new challenge, or dare, to help one win the heart of their spouse.
Caleb is met with resistance as he begins his journey. The harder he tries, the more his wife turns away. That was me at the end of my first marriage. No matter what I did to try and win back my wife, she pulled harder the other way. I didn’t get the storybook ending in that one.
Through the movie, I could see how my marriage now to Sandy is suffering from, if nothing else, stagnation.
At this point, I want to direct the rest of this column to my wife. It’s intended for her and no one else. If you stop reading, that’s fine. If not, perhaps you can glean something that might help you. Either way, you’re the peeping tom from here on out.
Sandy, I am so glad you bought a copy of “The Love Dare.” I’m glad you are as interested in fireproofing our marriage as I am. I can’t say that our marriage has been in the fire. It’s been more like a stagnant pond. I’ve become so complacent that I haven’t realized that you are drowning. There have been no ripples on the surface.
Our lives have been in the fire and the heat is continually being turned up. But I’ve been taking you for granted, and I’m sorry. I’ve been so wrapped up in my comfort zone that I have overlooked your needs, your hopes and your dreams. You’ve been strong when negative forces have buffeted our family and I’ve come to expect that strength to always be there. It’s high time I took up more of the slack. I need to be your defender, not the one being protected.
I know I need to be more involved with you and the boys. I’m trying. It hasn’t been easy. The computer and television are very addictive devices. My health issues present some problems, but they’re more inconveniences than hindrances. By being physically involved most of those issues should go away.
I don’t know exactly how all of this should work. I do know I will take it one step at a time. I will do my best to take more responsibility around the house. I will do more dishes, clean up more, and (I can’t believe I’m saying this) even help with the laundry.
I will spend more time playing with the children, reading books to them and helping with their homework.
More importantly, I want to make sure we have our own private time together each evening, without children and electronic interference, to debrief each other on our day and then to nourish each other with hopes, dreams, plans and some time in the Bible or a Bible study.
I promise to be physically, mentally and emotionally engaged with you and our children. At those times when I fail, I will be counting on you to nudge me on. I may falter, but I will not fail.
Nothing means more to me than my faith and my family. It’s time I started living out those priorities before they become empty words.
If the firestorm that has been our lives ever invades our marriage, I want our relationship to be fireproof. More importantly, I want to stir up this stagnant pond and make it a flowing river, teeming with life. I hope you will join me. It’s going to be hard, but it’s going to be fun.
I’m so thankful that you’re the one I get to take this journey with. It’s going to be a wild ride and I want to get started. After all, we’re being watched by the people who have bothered to read this far. I wouldn’t want them to go away disappointed.