How to win the heart of your wife
They say that the difference between a single man and a married man is that the single man is willing to kill to win the love of his life while the married man is more apt to die for her.
This week I want to speak specifically to the men; to the husbands and husband-wannabes. You women are welcome to follow along, but it doesn’t necessarily pertain to you. What I have to say speaks to the heart of the warrior.
I want to talk to the man who was once willing to climb the highest mountain, swim the widest sea and brave the fiercest opponent to win the heart of the woman he loves. I want to talk to the man who is king of his domain – the breadwinner, the one who daily slays the office dragons, traverses the sea of traffic and is master of the three bed/two bath ranch with attached garage and propane grill in the back.
Are you happy with your life? Are you happy with your wife? Is she everything you wanted her to be when you pursued her in your single days? Is she the radiant beauty whose heart you longed to win? Is she the perfect wife and mother? Does she cook your favorite meals, wash your clothes, clean your castle and raise your kids? Is your marriage everything you hoped and dreamed it would be?
Whether it is or not, let me ask you this: is your wife happy? Is she as excited as a puppy to see you come home at the end of a long day? Is she eager to please you in bed as often as you like? Does she rave about you to her friends? Does she shower you with compliments and doll herself up to look nice for you?
If you’re like me and most other guys, this is not your reality. I’m guessing the only thing she likes about seeing you come home after work is the relief she feels from having an extra hand to help around the house. If you asked her if she is happy, most likely she’ll say those two words that strike fear in the heart of every husband: “I’m fine.”
If you wanted steak tonight, I’m betting Hamburger Helper or leftover spaghetti more closely resembles what you will find on your plate (or leftover turkey since this is Thanksgiving week).
That ravishing beauty that you met at the alter is probably a few pounds and a couple dress sizes larger. Her hair is probably in a low-maintenance cut and her clothes designed more fore comfort than fashion. I’d wager that the last thing she said about you to her best friend was more complaint than compliment.
Let’s face it, marriage is tough. Both people live with unfulfilled expectations. There are times, I’m sure, where one or both of you have thought about throwing in the towel. You probably get more pleasure from your computer than your companion. I’m not saying your marriage is bad. You might have a great marriage. But based on divorce rates, at least half or more of us don’t.
You can have a great marriage and rekindle the romance that you began your “happily ever after” with. If you want your wife to shine like the trophy you won, you need to apply a little elbow grease and polish not her, but to yourself.
Are you the man she thought she married? Do you still care for her, court her, do little things to make her happy? When was the last time you tried to win her heart? When did you last send flowers for no special reason? When did you last leave her a love note or even text a sweet nothing to her? When was the last time you insisted on doing the dishes or folding the laundry or bathing the kids?
It basically boils down to putting her needs before your own. Treat her the way you want her to treat you. If you pour your time and energy into her and making her feel wanted and loved, she will shine for you.
Remember, you are partners for life. You are in this together. She is not your enemy, nor are you hers. Get yourself up off the couch or pull yourself away from the computer and take your place by her side. Be her warrior, her defender, her companion. Be a man and do your share of the work around the house … and then some.
If you pride yourself as the leader of your family, then lead by example. Don’t lord over your wife and kids and be disappointed when they fail you. Help them succeed. Lift them up every chance you get. Help them where you can. Praise their achievements and affirm them in their efforts.
If you want something out of your marriage, you must first invest in it. You can’t expect to get something for nothing. If you think you’re tired at the end of the day, imagine how your wife feels.
If you want her to be a sex goddess in bed tonight, try doing the dishes and vacuuming the carpet. And for heaven’s sake, stop looking at other sex goddesses on your computer. If you put the attention and emotional energy into your wife that you do the image on your screen, you’d see her in a new light and she would love your adoration and respond accordingly.
Men, as husbands we need to stop wounding our wives and start loving them. We need to lower our expectations of our wives and raise the expectations for ourselves. Only then can she become the object of desire that you would conquer the world to win. And that, my friend, is a gem worth dying for.
This week I want to speak specifically to the men; to the husbands and husband-wannabes. You women are welcome to follow along, but it doesn’t necessarily pertain to you. What I have to say speaks to the heart of the warrior.
I want to talk to the man who was once willing to climb the highest mountain, swim the widest sea and brave the fiercest opponent to win the heart of the woman he loves. I want to talk to the man who is king of his domain – the breadwinner, the one who daily slays the office dragons, traverses the sea of traffic and is master of the three bed/two bath ranch with attached garage and propane grill in the back.
Are you happy with your life? Are you happy with your wife? Is she everything you wanted her to be when you pursued her in your single days? Is she the radiant beauty whose heart you longed to win? Is she the perfect wife and mother? Does she cook your favorite meals, wash your clothes, clean your castle and raise your kids? Is your marriage everything you hoped and dreamed it would be?
Whether it is or not, let me ask you this: is your wife happy? Is she as excited as a puppy to see you come home at the end of a long day? Is she eager to please you in bed as often as you like? Does she rave about you to her friends? Does she shower you with compliments and doll herself up to look nice for you?
If you’re like me and most other guys, this is not your reality. I’m guessing the only thing she likes about seeing you come home after work is the relief she feels from having an extra hand to help around the house. If you asked her if she is happy, most likely she’ll say those two words that strike fear in the heart of every husband: “I’m fine.”
If you wanted steak tonight, I’m betting Hamburger Helper or leftover spaghetti more closely resembles what you will find on your plate (or leftover turkey since this is Thanksgiving week).
That ravishing beauty that you met at the alter is probably a few pounds and a couple dress sizes larger. Her hair is probably in a low-maintenance cut and her clothes designed more fore comfort than fashion. I’d wager that the last thing she said about you to her best friend was more complaint than compliment.
Let’s face it, marriage is tough. Both people live with unfulfilled expectations. There are times, I’m sure, where one or both of you have thought about throwing in the towel. You probably get more pleasure from your computer than your companion. I’m not saying your marriage is bad. You might have a great marriage. But based on divorce rates, at least half or more of us don’t.
You can have a great marriage and rekindle the romance that you began your “happily ever after” with. If you want your wife to shine like the trophy you won, you need to apply a little elbow grease and polish not her, but to yourself.
Are you the man she thought she married? Do you still care for her, court her, do little things to make her happy? When was the last time you tried to win her heart? When did you last send flowers for no special reason? When did you last leave her a love note or even text a sweet nothing to her? When was the last time you insisted on doing the dishes or folding the laundry or bathing the kids?
It basically boils down to putting her needs before your own. Treat her the way you want her to treat you. If you pour your time and energy into her and making her feel wanted and loved, she will shine for you.
Remember, you are partners for life. You are in this together. She is not your enemy, nor are you hers. Get yourself up off the couch or pull yourself away from the computer and take your place by her side. Be her warrior, her defender, her companion. Be a man and do your share of the work around the house … and then some.
If you pride yourself as the leader of your family, then lead by example. Don’t lord over your wife and kids and be disappointed when they fail you. Help them succeed. Lift them up every chance you get. Help them where you can. Praise their achievements and affirm them in their efforts.
If you want something out of your marriage, you must first invest in it. You can’t expect to get something for nothing. If you think you’re tired at the end of the day, imagine how your wife feels.
If you want her to be a sex goddess in bed tonight, try doing the dishes and vacuuming the carpet. And for heaven’s sake, stop looking at other sex goddesses on your computer. If you put the attention and emotional energy into your wife that you do the image on your screen, you’d see her in a new light and she would love your adoration and respond accordingly.
Men, as husbands we need to stop wounding our wives and start loving them. We need to lower our expectations of our wives and raise the expectations for ourselves. Only then can she become the object of desire that you would conquer the world to win. And that, my friend, is a gem worth dying for.
posted by Joe Southern | 9:08 AM
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