An empty day filled with love and memories

Dear Dad,

I know Friday may be one of the emptiest and most painful of your life. I hope it isn’t. I hope it’s one filled with many joyous and happy memories of Mom.

Fifty years is a heck of a milestone. Had she not been called home last May this weekend would have been one of the biggest celebrations of your life. Mom would have been showered with gifts and accolades and congratulations for putting up with you for so long!

Seriously though, you were a great husband and I know she cherished her life with you. Even now you remain a truly wonderful father and grandfather. Family was always important to both of you and it shows. All of your grandchildren have loving and caring families and that is a legacy you can be proud of.

I first started thinking about writing this column more than a year ago. Of course, back then I thought it would be a dedication presented to both of you. In a way it still is. Mom’s memory is as strong with us today as was her love for us the previous 49 years. As she gazes upon us from Heaven, I’m sure what she sees fills her heart with gladness.

Looking back at the last 50 years it amazes me what all we have been through. You and Mom sacrificed a lot to make sure all of our needs and many of our wants were met. My brothers and I rarely did without anything. We always had plenty of food, lots of toys, a color TV and our own bedrooms.

More than that, we had parents who took us to church, attended school conferences and programs, coached Little League, served as Scout leaders, took us fishing and camping, played games, played catch, prayed regularly (and I’m sure irregularly at times), took (dragged) us to Grange meetings, volunteered with the fire department, and did a whole host of other things that aren’t coming to mind just now. (Hey, I’m approaching 50 and the memory ain’t what it used to be…)

The thing is, you and Mom not only filled a need when you saw it, you often led the charge to get things done. I have some friends who could learn from your example and a lot of friends who did! The values you and Mom instilled in my brothers and me shaped us into the men we are today. Those are the same values we are modeling and instilling in our own children.

Under your roof, our friends always knew they were welcome and safe. Our home was at times a refuge for castoffs and runaways until they could turn their lives around. That’s something that has lived on in my house.

One of the things that always amazed me is how graciously you allowed us to experiment and carve our own paths in life. You and Mom were always a safety net when we failed and a lighthouse when we got lost but you were never a tour guide taking us where you wanted us to go. As my own kids reach their teens and 20s I’m discovering how very hard that must have been for you to do, especially with me being the first in line and suffering from a very creative wanderlust.

I know it must have seemed cruel for me to take off with your grandkids and move more than a 1,000 miles away. I now know how it feels as my daughter is back with you in Colorado and my oldest son is with his other grandparents in Florida. I miss them dearly and I feel the emptiness of their absence, but I am sure proud of them and all that they’re accomplishing.

I guess that brings me back to the emptiness of your 50^th anniversary and first one without Mom. I hope you can see how full life was (and is) and what an incredible legacy you have left. I know there is a void where Mom was, but our lives and our hearts are full and this is a day we can all cherish and celebrate. Congratulations Dad, and thanks to you and Mom for a lifetime of love, laughter and a commitment to making this a better world in which to live.