A demented twist to some holiday favorites

For almost three weeks now Christmas music has been playing on the radio and everywhere you go.
I don’t know if I can hold out the remaining week until Christmas is over and regular music returns. I do like Christmas music, but I get tired of hearing the same songs over and over.
Since these things are stuck in my head, I thought it would be interesting to have some fun with them. So, I decided to write some parody lyrics. Without further ado, I present to you songs sung to the tune of:

The Christmas Song (Chestnuts roasting on an open fire)
Chipmunks roasting on an open fire,
Jack Daniels nipping at your nose,
Long underwear hanging on a wire,
And jerks dressed up like old hobos.
Everybody knows a turkey’s in the White House,
Hope to set the country right.
But all he’s done is act like a louse,
Making it hard to sleep at night.
He knows that election’s on its way;
He’s loaded with lots of beer, but hey.
And every Congressman is going to spy,
To see if healthcare is really going to fly.
And so like cattle sent out to graze,
Losing my job in a week or two,
And though it’s not wise, more of a craze,
I guess we’ll just re-elect you.

Feliz Navidad
Fleas on the dog,
Fleas on the dog,
Fleas on the dog,
And now they’re spreading to the kitty cat.
I really want this song to end,
I really want this song to end,
I really want this song to end,
’Cause they play it way too much
(Repeat endlessly)

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
I saw Daddy punching Santa Claus
In front of the Christmas tree last night
He slapped him across the cheek
And then bonked him on his beak
Then he hit him with a roundhouse
That knocked him off his feet.
Then I saw Daddy kicking Santa Clause
Kicked him with the left and then the right
Oh, what a sight it must have been
’Cause Daddy had just seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.
I saw Daddy punching Santa Claus
In front of the Christmas tree last night
He slapped him across the cheek
And then bonked him on his beak
Then he hit him with a roundhouse
That knocked him off his feet.
Then I saw Daddy kicking Santa Clause
Kicked him with the left and then the right
Oh, what a sight it must have been
’Cause Daddy had just seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town
You better watch out
He’s starting to spy
He gonna find out
If the Falcon can fly
Boba Fett is coming to town
He’s gunning for Han
And Chewie too;
Gonna find out who’s best with a gun
Boba Fett is coming to town
He knows where you’ve been hiding
Like Imperial trash
He knows you can’t make light speed
Once you release the parking brake.
O! You better watch out
He’s starting to spy
Gonna find out
If the Falcon can fly
Boba Fett is coming to town.