What the dying have to say about living

 

Let’s begin 2026 by looking at the end – not the end of the year but the end of your life.

One of the people I enjoy following on social media is Daniel Pink. I’ve read several of his books, I’m on his email distribution list and I’ve watched quite a few of his podcasts. He recently shared some interesting information gleaned from a new book by Diane Button, a self-described end-of-life doula. Button sat with hundreds of people at the end of their life and has gathered a lot of insights about living.

What Pink and Button have to say blends with things I’ve learned over the years. The key lesson learned from people who are transitioning from this life to the next is that it’s the ordinary things in life that really make a difference. It’s the connections and relationships that matter most.

When you’re gone, no one will remember how much money you made, the kind of car you drove, or how big your house was. They will remember how you made them feel. They’ll remember the warmth, the laughter, the good times, the silly moments and the sharing and caring. Conversely, they’ll also remember the lies, backstabbing, putdowns, gossip, and the feeling of being used. So be kind.

Focus on the good stuff. Count your blessings, not your failures. You will always find the joys in life if you look for them. The more you look the more you will find. When you fill your life with joy and happiness, you crowd out the failures and negative thoughts. Instead of thinking about the what if’s, think about the what can be’s. Whenever you find something that makes you happy, be sure to express gratitude.

Be forgiving. Forgive others and forgive yourself. Life is messy. Mistakes are made and bad things happen. Clean your slate every day, or at least as often as you can. Right your wrongs. Forgive those who have wronged you. The only one who feels the weight of a grudge is the person holding it. Don’t leave anything important unsaid.

Show kindness. Follow the Golden Rule and do to others as you would have them do to you. Small things can make a big difference. Smile, be complimentary, be helpful and put others first. Hold the door for someone. Let traffic merge in front of you. Tip servers generously.

Be respectful and courteous. Keep your promises. Be on time. Be generous and giving. Let your light shine. Regularly tell those you love that you love them. Support and encourage those around you. You can’t build yourself up by tearing others down. Build others up and they will lift you to new heights.

Treasure the moments that life gives you. Take advantage of the time you have. You only get one shot at this life. Every moment you waste is one you won’t get back. Most people on their deathbed regret the things they didn’t do, not the things they did.

As you strive to achieve your goals, be inclusive. Don’t build an empire just to die alone in a mansion. Build your team and bring others along with you on your journey. The things we make and create and the things we do and accomplish don’t mean a thing if they can’t be shared with others.

I know this sounds like a cluster of cliches from a motivational speech, but these things are true. Sometimes we just need to be reminded. In some cases, these things need to be learned. I need to remind myself every day that my life isn’t about me. I live to serve God and my fellow man. As a journalist I strive to be honest, fair, informative and sometimes entertaining. If I do those things I know someone else’s life will be better because of it.

Whenever I write a story or a column, I look at it from the perspective of the reader. If what I’ve written makes you smarter or a little more informed about your community then I’ve done my job. If what I’ve written serves no other purpose than my own, then I have failed.

I have to confess that I have not read Button’s book “What Matters Most,” but I intend to in the coming year. I will also continue to follow Pink, as I find him to be very insightful, thought-provoking and entertaining. And I certainly don’t intend to wait until the end of the year, or my life, to start doing things that make a difference.

As the saying goes, today is the first day for the rest of your life. Start now so you can finish strong.