Celebrating these magical times of year

Late December is always a magical time of year for me.

It’s also incredibly stressful, but in a good way.

In 1999 as the world was counting down to Y2K, Sandy and I were counting down to Dec. 17, the day we tied the knot. It is a second marriage for both of us, but one that was built to last. At least it has lasted 22 years so far and shows no signs of stopping or slowing down. The tires have been kicked, the doors dinged, the bumper bumped, and the radiator has blown steam a time or two, but the engine purrs like a kitten and the ride is smooth.

It’s mind-boggling to me to look back at all we’ve been through and to see that we’re still together and still very much in love after all this time. She is an amazing woman and every day I count my blessings to be able to call her my wife. Most couples would have cashed in long ago had they been through some of the stuff we’ve survived. We’re still together and going strong by the grace of God and a firm commitment to our vows.

The early years of our marriage suffered from heated clashes over parenting styles, bankruptcy, foreclosure, long-distance moves, addiction, depression, financial hardships, unemployment, health issues, and more. By no means are we out of the woods, but we’ve learned to appreciate the beauty of the forest on this journey through life together.

I think that’s what made all of this bearable, being together. We have each other’s back and we can trust and depend on one another to always be there. That lesson really hit home this year as I spent 10 months 250 miles away from my family in Fredericksburg, where I was the managing editor of the Fredericksburg Standard-Radio Post.

We wanted to live closer to her parents in Kerrville, and that job seemed ideal. It was for me, but it wasn’t meant to be. Sandy was unable to secure employment there, leading me to take this position here closer to our Rosenberg home. Other than weekends together, we lived apart for 10 months, honing the adage that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

When we first started dating and contemplating marriage, I had the mindset that Sandy would always be my trophy wife, especially since she’s more than eight years younger than me. I still think of her as my trophy wife, and so much more. I’m clearly the junior partner in our relationship.

Throughout all the tough stuff I mentioned before, Sandy managed to give birth to two boys (making four children between us), go to school online and earn her bachelor’s degree in business administration, followed a few years later by getting her master’s degree in healthcare administration while working fulltime.

Oh, and she’s active in Scouting, currently serving as a district commissioner and Wood Badge instructor. And she’s in Toastmasters. And she loves to cook and sew. We’re active in our church (she used to sing on the praise team). The list of her commitments and accomplishments is very long. Compared to her I’m lazy and forgetful. Which is part of the reason why this time of year is so stressful for me.

She takes care of almost all of our Christmas shopping. Sandy is the only one I need to buy for, and I struggle with that. But Christmas and our anniversary are close together, and about a month removed from her birthday, so I have to very carefully plan and balance gifts between these three major events each year. Oh yeah, and our youngest son has a birthday in early December, along with her father in mid-December.

Like I said, it’s a stressful time of year, but in a good way. Every holiday, anniversary, and birthday is a reminder of just how gracious and generous God was when he brought us together. I honestly think the secret to a lasting marriage is to keep God at the center of it, closely followed by your spouse. If you put your spouse’s needs before your own, eventually all your needs will be met.

For me, being married to Sandy is like having Christmas every day. Her beauty is beyond compare, especially on the inside. I eagerly anticipate each moment I get to spend with her. It’s like constantly having that Christmas morning feeling of excitement and anticipation each time I see the love in her eyes, feel the warmth of her hugs, taste the sweet wine of her kisses, and pleasure in the song of her voice.

And honestly, I have to say these things because I forgot to get her an anniversary card and this will have to do.

I love you, Sweetheart! Happy anniversary!

 

Joe Southern is the managing editor of the Wharton Journal-Spectator and the East Bernard Express. You can contact him at news@journal-spectator.com.